Thursday, 22 July 2010

Another £330k for Liverpool Day at Shanghai Expo. Is it justified or a criminal waste and should we bring back the scaffold or leave them there?

By Jove Missus, I make no apologies for returning to the subject of Shanghai, because as I said last time, our £3million Liverpool Pavilion at the Shanghai Expo is money well spent, particularly if they now want to send me back on another freebie for a special Liverpool Day grand finale.

So stop moaning about job cuts and services under threat, you can worry and moan about that when me and our local celebs and freeloaders are back. But don't moan too loud as I will have had a skinfull by then and my head will be banging. Now I know the council is skint with a deficit of £125 million over the next 5 years, and that’s before the Cleggeron cuts. So what’s another £330k to finance our special Liverpool Day? A couple of day centres maybe 30 /40 jobs or one Chief Executive and a cleaner - that’s not too much to sacrifice for a nice little party for your favourite stars and the local hangers on is it?

Let me tell you some of the line up; I tell you the people of Shanghai won’t know what’s hit them. As my mate Pete Priceright would say, “They’ll Knock Us Out” Besides me and the Did Hee Men, there will Radio Yangtzeside’s Roger Fillets, if we can get him off the phone.

And as well as a Martial Arts display by the Unarmed Wombats, The whole of the Royal Tandoori Philharmonic Orchestra will be flown over for the day to knock out a few tunes for us.

But there is not just me for comic relief, no Missus, one of our brightest funnymen will be going over there to entertain the influential business community of Shanghai. 

According to a reliable soy source, who acts as my right hand man and pencil sharpener, Mr Stan Broadman (left) will also be flown out to perform cultural anecdotes about Liverpool Chinese Chip shops.

"The Geeeermans"
 Yes the Fokker will be jetting off to Shanghai from Arthur Askey International Airport (Above us only Bees) with all your favourite stars.

The show, which will focus on Liverpool’s bright future, will be compered by Brian Inglis from TVs All Our Yesterdays. But best of all missus, the star attraction will be the greatest musical group the world has ever seen, who are re-uniting for Liverpool Day.  Yes it’s true! The Liverpool lads who shook the world and changed the face of popular culture forever.............wait for it!
     The Scuffles !  
Now obviously it's not the original line up of Arthur Scargill,
       Woody Allen and Alan Price. (Pictured above)

No it's the later and much better version, "The Bootleg Scuffles" starring Mike McSpielman, John Bucketawaterman and my very good friend and poet Reggie McCough. They will be going over to perform some of their greatest hits and maybe a few of Reggie's mucky Limericks. (although hopefully not the one about the man from Hong Kong)

So c’mon ladies and gentlemen lets sack a few people so we can raise the money and have a bit of fun in Shanghai on the last day.

Now because we are very close, my good friend Reggie McCough, has sent me a sneak preview of a specially written new version of their number one hit  “Lilly We’re Skint” and so here it is below for a good old singalong.  C’mon, cough it up for McCough!

“Lilly Free Drink”    By Reggie McCough

Opening chorus

We’ll drink and drink and drink
up all the free drink and drink and drink
If they send us off to Shang-a-hai
For it’s another - Municipal Cock up
Where the cost has - gone too high.          

Poor Warren Bradley - took it very badly
When he slid right down his po-oh-ole
For they invented - Municipal Cock ups
That’s why the Lib dems - lost Control

The Daily Post has - writers who ghost as
Editorials that are spin eh hin
But I think that - we know who’s behind it
And just who tells them - what goes in

They said our pavilion – that’s cost three million
Could make us fifty - in your dree e eams
But in ano-ther - Municipal cock-up
It’s just got Beatles - and Football teams

So - we’ll drink and drink and drink
up all the free drink and drink and drink
If they send us off to Shang-a-hai
For it’s another - Municipal Cock up
Where the cost has - gone too high.

For Liver-pool day - they want us to pay
Three hundred grand, they must be nu-u-uts
While at the same time, the deficit budget
Means that we’ll pay it - with job cuts.

Now isn’t it funny - how we run out of money
And we hear the - same old cry- i –y
Yet we can pay out - 78 Million
To LDL who - bleed us dry

Roger Phillips - must see that this bill tips
Common sense right over boar-or-oard
And this Expo folly - has cost too much lolly
That we really - can’t afford

The Philharmonic - can fly back supersonic
When they offend them with their show –o -ow
For in another - Municipal cock-up
They’re playing Ying Tong - Diddle i Po

Shanghai will be baffled - when they see the Scaffold
They’ll be asking - which one’s Pau-a-aul
They’ll say pull the other- that’s only his brother
And line us all up against the wall

We’ll drink and drink and drink
up all the free drink and drink and drink
If you give more cash to Shang-a-hai
For it’s a Lib Dem - Municipal Cock up
The cost for you is - far too high.

Sooooooo - weeeeeeeee’ll - need a sodding drink
‘Cos we’re on the brink the brink the brink
Of death caused by - a thousand cu-u-uts
Admit the Expo’s a Municipal Cock up
And - show – us - that - yooooou’ve – got some guts.


Well you can vote on the money or read more here.

Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Byeeeeeeeee !!!!!!
Be Nice to each other.


Ahh well looks like they have now decided to pay the £300k and have the party. I knew they would. It is a no win situation at this stage I suppose. It's still all the fault of the lib dems and spin merchants for getting us into this and the fault of those Big Businesses who have profited out of the Liverpool land grab and other get rich quick schemes but were not prepared to put anything into this jaunt.

The biggest joke is that the Lib Dems who started this whole thing and comitted the city to bankrolling a major part of it, whilst knowing the state of the finances, have called in the decision and are opposing the spend with a typical display of hypocrisy and political opportunism, saying the money should not be spent.

Oh well I will shut up about it now as I can't side with those two faced gits.

So good luck to all the artists and musicians being sent over.
Have a safe journey and I genuinely hope you have a good time.

Now what shall I wear?