tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59041469623976530842024-02-21T03:38:07.695+00:00Professor Chucklebutty's LiverpoolNews and analysis before it hasn't happened, from Political Editor Prof. Chucklebutty and Cultural Editor with his own Keycutting shop and Heel Bar, Arthur Clack.
Published by Timothy Mirror, Sodhall Street, Oldham. (near Liverpool)
The Voice and Capital Of Custard since 2008 Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-71052205683598624512015-03-06T23:00:00.000+00:002015-03-07T04:54:50.922+00:00LARKS WITH THE PARKS<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFrvk9494uWK2RDgY_fd6WlUV0fHE44NF0wCPQZo2ZgGXMC9Gm1qsKycMoHqM3dIGeRH_OZAlb2kdefW2nj18TQ9qCKvH3fdkNiCFIU1AFf5y8wEPorwIBJbcqMvatTtwfRNJ29N-ijPQ/s1600/Jpith.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFrvk9494uWK2RDgY_fd6WlUV0fHE44NF0wCPQZo2ZgGXMC9Gm1qsKycMoHqM3dIGeRH_OZAlb2kdefW2nj18TQ9qCKvH3fdkNiCFIU1AFf5y8wEPorwIBJbcqMvatTtwfRNJ29N-ijPQ/s1600/Jpith.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">Lofty Ideas</span></strong></td></tr>
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<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The Mayor of Grotty Cash is a big bloke...</span></h2>
<h2 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Some people think he's tree fellers.</span></h2>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Well he isn't, he's just one. But some of his mates are. </span></h3>
<h3 style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Like the ones who want to chop down 27 mature trees in a conservation area within Sefton Park to build a so-called executive housing estate.</span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: large;">There is no escaping the fact that the city is in a perilous financial situation as a result of brutal and disproportionate cut imposed by the Conservative-Lib Dem Coalition. But the Mayor's argument used to justify selling off parts of the city's Victorian park land for short term gain, just doesn't hold water. (unlike the individual £3,500 taps fitted to the sinks in his new offices) </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The park land in Sefton Park, Walton Hall Park, Woolton Woods and Calderstones belongs to the people of the city. It is not something an elected mayor should have the right to sell, particularly when we were denied the right to say if we wanted an elected Mayor in the first place.<br /><br />I have no doubt of the pain the councillors are going through in setting a budget when faced with such an ideological onslaught but the selling off of Park Land does not benefit the city nor the people. It only benefits the developers, who can't wait to get their hands on prime land and who let the acres of brown field sites sit as waste ground. <br /><br />People are angry about scale of the cuts and often unfairly blame the council, who are in a catch 22 situation. But they also want to hold them to account when they feel strongly about particular issues or see examples of what they think may be wasted money.<br /><br />So it doesn't help when anyone questioning the actions of the Mayor or indeed raising any questions seem to be dismissed, shouted down, ridiculed or instantly blocked on social media. <br /><br />I know he has a lot on his shoulders, and fine pair of shoulders they are. He should show 'em off.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br />But it's enough to make you want to burst into song. Sing Lofty.</span></div>
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More Here:<a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/Culture/VIDEO-Stop-the-Liverpool-green-space-sell-off">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/Culture/VIDEO-Stop-the-Liverpool-green-space-sell-off</a></div>
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And here:<a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/News-and-Comment/Simon-OBrien-hits-the-road-to-talk-green-spaces">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/News-and-Comment/Simon-OBrien-hits-the-road-to-talk-green-spaces</a></div>
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">TATTY BYE EVERYBODY, </span></strong><strong><span style="font-size: large;">TATTY BYE!</span></strong><br />
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Be Nice To Each Other</div>
Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-45928980453687449132014-03-04T23:10:00.000+00:002014-03-05T00:31:30.108+00:00People of Grotty Cash shocked to read that Cllr Harry Bottle is in discussion with Dumble Mayor about possible return to Hogwash<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">RESIDENTS OF GROTTY CASH ROCKED AROUND PICTON CLOCK</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">In an exclusive leak, the Oldham Echo's political Editor, Muck Wadingthrough, has revealed that Britain's youngest councillor may be about to re-join the Labour Party, after his shock resignation last year. <br /><br />This followed the rift between him and the local MP and anti ciggies campaigner, Luciana Bensonandhedges.<br /><br /><br /> Many of the local people in the Wavegoodbye constituency are saying it's like when Robbie Williams returned to CUT THAT and the tubby one pretended he was pleased to see him. <br /><br />But will they want him back for good?<br /><br />Some are speculating that he has managed to raise his profile so much that they now regarded him as a real threat to the seat. Maria Wetherspoon, one of the de-selection team, who wore a rubber mask so as not to be identified, said "we had to do something, to stop us losing votes, we could have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for that meddling kid."</span><span style="font-size: small;">Photo courtesy of Ali MacWoolorworse, Editor Oldham Echo.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Bye!</span><br />
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Be nice to each other<br />
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......especially Jake.<br />
<br />Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-22828757955863056322014-01-14T23:58:00.003+00:002014-01-15T00:14:01.357+00:00Yes....The Puppets are coming and so is the Axe Man. Never mind...Watch the puppets!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">At least Liverpool Direct has been spared from the brutal cuts. Well, we wouldn't know where to start. We don't know how much we are paying them or what we are paying them for....or even if they work for us or Lancashire. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">All we know is....in the words of young Mr Grace...<br /><br />"They are all doing very well!"<br /><br />But they can't tell us that. Never mind, just keep handing them the cash.<br /><br /><span style="color: red;"><strong>Tatty Bye Everybody...Tatty Bye</strong></span></span></div>
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Be nice to each other</h2>
Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-34918972206510632212013-06-25T00:00:00.000+01:002013-06-27T20:00:24.883+01:00Liverpool Resignation Crisis: Mayor to Stand Down in order to stand against himself as Mayor in 2015. Professor Chucklebutty is asked to write for Dale Street Associates and spills his beans on the big story<br />
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">In a sensational development the
Mayor of Grotty Cash, Jake Anderson, has announced he is to quit New
Conservatives and stand against himself as Mayor in the 2015 election.<o:p></o:p></span></strong></span></span></div>
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</span><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">Since he publicly attacked Ed
Cameron and said he is ashamed to be a member of the party for their stance on
refusing to repeal the pasty tax, he was suspended at the request of the leader
of the local party, Luciona Parachute who accused him of "Having
principals and knocking on doors without learning his lines, which risked ruining
the whole pantomime."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">Oh no she
didn't.....Oh yes she did.</span></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPCbywBysT84yy16ZYSeMbTnx9x1C6wvm61bKNPyyZ-o96AmLAM2KIEfHe8_rq2UwiPxN1aISe3AIuFW2rgjUIG-MaTkUblnjxyRnlYSlJBUe74OMNMM5iQ44zFULeTqGr4u-5aCtN35c/s1600/imagesCAEQ86MJ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPCbywBysT84yy16ZYSeMbTnx9x1C6wvm61bKNPyyZ-o96AmLAM2KIEfHe8_rq2UwiPxN1aISe3AIuFW2rgjUIG-MaTkUblnjxyRnlYSlJBUe74OMNMM5iQ44zFULeTqGr4u-5aCtN35c/s400/imagesCAEQ86MJ.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Happier times surrounded by Lucy and staff from Burger King on Election night 2010</td></tr>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span> </div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">In his resignation statement Mr
Manderson, said; <br />
<br />
"By Jove Missus, since I publicly exposed the bullying of the poor by Ed
Cameron and his outright refusal to reverse the cuts, I have asked myself -
what do I tell people on the doorsteps?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Other than, sorry, I've cracked your doorstep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
If we believe something is immoral and wrong then we should have the courage to
oppose it and commit to scrapping it. Like I used to say about Liverpool
Direct.<br />
</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes Missus, it's sink or swim time in Liverpool. Especially if you were on the
Duck Tour.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was born in Grotty Cash but I am currently living under a tarpaulin on Sefton
Park Meadows where I spend my days counting the people walking their dogs and
post the results on Twitter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">I may as
well, my emails leak more than the tarpaulin. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxhnmr5eGJU69WeB32GTWe0XCcwzDRNF2fxMjKxrpUGEhWK5MTTu28w2_jIeSZolNEiSwqeNP8aKsDUacE76oEt3tcYZ1awYw7A_pqIj0SDq0wvttJDxQl9IMoS8O5kzAidUh8Nj4qXok/s1600/imagesCAMWPK0J.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxhnmr5eGJU69WeB32GTWe0XCcwzDRNF2fxMjKxrpUGEhWK5MTTu28w2_jIeSZolNEiSwqeNP8aKsDUacE76oEt3tcYZ1awYw7A_pqIj0SDq0wvttJDxQl9IMoS8O5kzAidUh8Nj4qXok/s400/imagesCAMWPK0J.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sefton Park meadows where Joe want to bulldoze these children </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
I joined the Labour Party because I was drunk one night and woke up with a
tattoo of Margaret Beckett on my left buttock and Shirley Williams on the
other. Then she joined the gang of four and I ran out of buttocks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thankfully Tony Blair changed all that and I
quickly found myself in his New Conservatives Party. <br />
<br />
For the last two years, since becoming Mayor, I have worked to have several
hundred lunch saving bicycles installed across the city, to allow people who do
not have access to Greggs or Sayers to quickly get across town to their nearest
outlet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And this work has been
recognised by no less than Ed Cameron himself, who in 2012 commended me in a
speech to the Young Bakers and Sausage Knotters Conference for my services to
the pastry. <br />
<o:p></o:p> </span></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifyew2kBa9oXtQUPA1TGjM1oYh9taAHGBcXOPZvxMYVEdJ_aaPnwTC3TF0Vp5OjDzgPaEhtabepe00i3CnXuKphO1SNeJQPs9avCBaCLp7Rpf-CICtAUM-sLI7b8sc8I54Qks_xqWwIFM/s1600/comedy_winters.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifyew2kBa9oXtQUPA1TGjM1oYh9taAHGBcXOPZvxMYVEdJ_aaPnwTC3TF0Vp5OjDzgPaEhtabepe00i3CnXuKphO1SNeJQPs9avCBaCLp7Rpf-CICtAUM-sLI7b8sc8I54Qks_xqWwIFM/s640/comedy_winters.jpg" width="392" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">Since the problems I have been
facing with leader Ed Cameron emerged, the people of Grotty Cash have
overwhelmingly asked well why are you implementing the cuts then? Why don't you
stop giving 60 odd million a year to Liverpool Direct? <br />
<br />
Well I have searched for an answer as to why don't we get any of the money from
the joint venture, why we pay them all that money and have no idea what they actually do.
I even asked Liverpool Direct for an answer but they just sent me a bill for
£20k for asking the question. </span></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">I said why do you want £20k before you'll tell me
what you do? They said that's commercially sensitive. Then I remembered I have
to pay them that every time, which is why I had to stop asking. Money talks and
at those prices I can't afford to talk to them too often. </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">But this, ladies and
gentlemen, has inspired me to make the following announcement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 6.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">As
a working class lad from Liverpool, who is determined to do what I want, and
ignore everyone (apart from Frank Downtown and Mr Holdings from Peel) I have
decided to announce today that I will be standing against myself in the election
for Mayor in 2015. Quite frankly I have had enough of me and standing against
myself is the only option. It's the only way to get me out and replace me with
me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div style="background: white; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 6.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">I
am not afraid to stand up against myself when I am wrong. And I think I am
right to do so. It would be wrong not to stand up for what's right. Even when
it's me. And by doing what's right, I will right the wrongs of a party that has
shifted to the right, which is wrong, and put things right. That is the clear
message I have for the people of the city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><br />
<br />
I have a record of complaining against things such as World Heritage Status and people who moan about me trying to flog off bits of the park for luxury houses
and I am happy to ignore petitions. Well I intend to put a stop to myself and stand up for
what they believe in, which is me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div style="background: white; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 6.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">I
will be a real voice for the people of Grotty Cash, displaying strong
opposition to any immoral land sell-offs that are put forward by me, and against the
wicked silence from our Tory leader, Ed Cameron, who taxes our patience and
credibility by refusing to draw the bedroom curtains.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 6.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></span> </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtQst6-qNgnkOcWRcsiRu0-XcFWo51RGT9RO4E1Z8_z4u3cqADPHqeDyCCZ2bfGDL0DRWpS-1tuy3-QK8t6vQZ_hTAOmzDFL0ZItwOsd6XCg0eH7d_eFfDrW6MeKxNfe0u08XGzupYpnU/s1600/untitled.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtQst6-qNgnkOcWRcsiRu0-XcFWo51RGT9RO4E1Z8_z4u3cqADPHqeDyCCZ2bfGDL0DRWpS-1tuy3-QK8t6vQZ_hTAOmzDFL0ZItwOsd6XCg0eH7d_eFfDrW6MeKxNfe0u08XGzupYpnU/s400/untitled.png" width="330" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Miliband keeping any promises to restore Tory cuts under his hat</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="background: white; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 6.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">I
whole heartedly believed that I belonged on the board of Liverpool Direct, and that
I would feel at home as a member and as friend of BT. Sadly this has not turned
out to be the case. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 6.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 6.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">I don't need a script to ignore members of the public. If
people come to me with issues, I just tell them straight. You're all wrong.
You've been duped. Look at the plans. The Yellow Duck was never part of the
Albert Dock!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
I am not anti-Labour, I am principled, and believe I can do a better job as the
Mayor than the current Mayor, which is me. And that's why I have decided to
oppose myself. I said OPPOSE Missus! By Jove yes! They can't touch you for
it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
I have even had backing from former leader of Grotty Cash Council, Lord Short
Storey who sent me a bottle of 5 year old Peroni which made me want to vomit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div style="background: white; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 6.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">I
would eventually like to return to a Labour Party that welcomes freedom of
expression, as long as I agree with it. The Labour Party should be there to
stick up for people who need a helping hand and not stick two fingers up
instead. Although Ed Balls will not at this stage commit to the number of
fingers he is prepared to stick up under a Labour Government. He says he would
have to judge it by the circumstances at the time. But he can guarantee that
anyone cruelly affected by the coalition cuts can expect the Labour leadership
to at least stick up one finger</span></span></span></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 6.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span></span> </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAGKYm-a6-meJnG4V30vZgvrYAxEKXlIZMIgDTLVjQPayS1P0sfUWJIznEzBnMcO9XlMDxGjHLPEcxCta6JZvfM8sb3BrObtAHCAzqx5eXMxWRDtZUxK9yG_Egu-M4b-VnDJoZlzP22X0/s1600/imagesCAGCXFY5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="365" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAGKYm-a6-meJnG4V30vZgvrYAxEKXlIZMIgDTLVjQPayS1P0sfUWJIznEzBnMcO9XlMDxGjHLPEcxCta6JZvfM8sb3BrObtAHCAzqx5eXMxWRDtZUxK9yG_Egu-M4b-VnDJoZlzP22X0/s400/imagesCAGCXFY5.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Labour leadership's message to those hit by attacks on benefits</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="background: white;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 6.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span> </div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 6.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">People
need a real alternative to me and I am that alternative. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div style="background: white; text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 6.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thus
I am with immediate effect resigning as a member of the New Conservative Party.
I will serve out the rest of my term as Mayor Of Grotty Cash as an independent,
and I look forward to defeating myself in the campaign to be a real
alternative, as a hard working, dedicated and committed Mayor, which I of
course already am so there's a chance I could lose and beat myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bloody hell, four more years of me! I have
to win and get me out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br /><br />Blimey what a
sodding mess!</span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvUFh1dcboW79-WZfGO_bbXt_UoH9oEknb60CoFlmxRA20Vnk18ZS9yKCraV7eOTWvBLDO5gEXEp5COL1eOJXupy8oP4-MTKfjDB16qThPf4TzwvMlWkPREFdJsL6GLRpUZqM2etwbPRU/s1600/imagesCA1V4D55.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvUFh1dcboW79-WZfGO_bbXt_UoH9oEknb60CoFlmxRA20Vnk18ZS9yKCraV7eOTWvBLDO5gEXEp5COL1eOJXupy8oP4-MTKfjDB16qThPf4TzwvMlWkPREFdJsL6GLRpUZqM2etwbPRU/s640/imagesCA1V4D55.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 6.0pt;"><br />
<br />
For more on this story see Mr Bartle's other article :<br />
<br />
<a href="http://blogs.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/dalestreetblues/2013/06/full-statement-jake-morrison-r.html">http://blogs.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/dalestreetblues/2013/06/full-statement-jake-morrison-r.html</a><br />
<br />
And Larry Knee's piece in Liverpool Continental.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/News-and-Comment/Now-its-Jake-Morrison-v-Luciana-Berger-for-Wavertree-MP-seat">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/News-and-Comment/Now-its-Jake-Morrison-v-Luciana-Berger-for-Wavertree-MP-seat</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Bye</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">Be Nice To Each Other</span></strong></span></span></span><br />
<br />
Advertising Feature<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsv6WB_qxJIgkel5sIJioXRmsfRuI3NiaimKgnjvbkj6NQ6scWnB_6C03Qs1JeReShgi7tkqX0RcPg-Mp9Y7uphKmiIXeVboHV1Uw3e_8tMVFyAWA5QR_nTDhOyDQve-b0IjdWWx3-oKQ/s960/Sodoku+Cheese.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="456" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsv6WB_qxJIgkel5sIJioXRmsfRuI3NiaimKgnjvbkj6NQ6scWnB_6C03Qs1JeReShgi7tkqX0RcPg-Mp9Y7uphKmiIXeVboHV1Uw3e_8tMVFyAWA5QR_nTDhOyDQve-b0IjdWWx3-oKQ/s640/Sodoku+Cheese.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-81072606452244547512013-06-07T13:18:00.003+01:002013-06-07T23:12:00.290+01:00Battle rages across the city as dark forces gather causing chaos at Hogwash Town Hall <span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1PBh_-BmbZk0mXUvgTtw0jJbwZT9PrxJeT_w1ZFamhL-JveM68vEA7mlLreko9YANOoQcsM5h-AgZPrZWidk2XfG0kN-7A9N7gMimoek24Mp4I_199tQLfQNDa0yALl36dcB1C_aGAQg/s1600/Plotter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1PBh_-BmbZk0mXUvgTtw0jJbwZT9PrxJeT_w1ZFamhL-JveM68vEA7mlLreko9YANOoQcsM5h-AgZPrZWidk2XfG0kN-7A9N7gMimoek24Mp4I_199tQLfQNDa0yALl36dcB1C_aGAQg/s400/Plotter.jpg" width="312" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Jake A Rowing's Harry Plotter, with his magical wand from the Waver Tree</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;">By Jove Missus! Great news for Liverpool, and for Harry Plotter
fans. </span>
<br />
We all thought that "The Deathly Twitters" was the last in the series but it has
just been announced that author Jake A Rowing, is to give us one more chapter
with a fight to the death between Harry and Voldemore's niece, Scriptiana.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">The new story, which is still being written, will be filmed
in Liverpool,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and sees our young hero
Harry, facing the combined menace of the Slithertree clique who have convinced
Scriptiana MP (Mystical Princess) that Harry Plotter must be destroyed. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2JgK8fTQHKmVEelnp_ksdQjZbS4Fu1ephl6ZdjKl0vDrOz_hHBQxmEdRC3UOEKmtJC8hRNqBtW8GK3PxJKAxHQi9-9Gg7FDkj8xw7dvW6zjXuG5VuliWTzBJ6jTuHezCxWmCNTdsZkyk/s1600/Scriptiana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2JgK8fTQHKmVEelnp_ksdQjZbS4Fu1ephl6ZdjKl0vDrOz_hHBQxmEdRC3UOEKmtJC8hRNqBtW8GK3PxJKAxHQi9-9Gg7FDkj8xw7dvW6zjXuG5VuliWTzBJ6jTuHezCxWmCNTdsZkyk/s400/Scriptiana.jpg" width="365" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Scriptiana: "You must be punished Harry, you did not learn the enchantment!"</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Armed with a new hypnotic weapon and a secret enchantment
with which to control the minds of members as they fly on their broomsticks
door to door, they tell the people that Plotter must be eliminated now and
offer a new champion to take his place, one who will be possessed with the
power of the enchanted script.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmxQaGoXGqQqcPavp9gh-hAjLdBlW6uETXfNPWv2VOR59kufeK3txbsJ-m2pokxpGx13-p9Q2IiD7LAPSCLs6P-URFDJC9F-0AE440M_kTEA5Uhsb6HHp2l_NcijN6BVlJKd27m_CYR50/s1600/imagesCAHJDURR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmxQaGoXGqQqcPavp9gh-hAjLdBlW6uETXfNPWv2VOR59kufeK3txbsJ-m2pokxpGx13-p9Q2IiD7LAPSCLs6P-URFDJC9F-0AE440M_kTEA5Uhsb6HHp2l_NcijN6BVlJKd27m_CYR50/s320/imagesCAHJDURR.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Look into my eyes, you don't care if we have no policies but to carry on the Tory cuts..</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">you will vote for us!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Harry has failed to be inducted into the ways of the secret
enchantment and Scriptiana sends a message of complaint to the head of Hogwash,
Professor Dumblemayor, with copies to the rest of the lack of faculties. She
accuses Harry of not turning up for their weekly Cruddage, and refusing to be a
team player. Worse still, she is furious that Harry has not swallowed the magic
potion that will make him repeat the enchanted script every time he speaks. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju571hzC5L4wn6ME3Ij4z3KW1reLyXvNTY4spU0U948FJbnO408fEounf3xKYq0PjLXjRosfgIQhnJG0qaewD1u2uetw2odkgfQlfqX2RGcC-q8y2TvuxIJVHL6I_SHxtk5GPkcIiiu1Y/s1600/lpoolth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju571hzC5L4wn6ME3Ij4z3KW1reLyXvNTY4spU0U948FJbnO408fEounf3xKYq0PjLXjRosfgIQhnJG0qaewD1u2uetw2odkgfQlfqX2RGcC-q8y2TvuxIJVHL6I_SHxtk5GPkcIiiu1Y/s400/lpoolth.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hogwash</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">When Harry is faced with the accusations, he appeals to the
Great Wiz Ed and sends the message via his faithful owl Twitter, where it is
seen by his enemies in Slithertree.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi723KXVu3Qo50J_RW7pW6pKoelheHuI0-pacfknFq-L54BeteDPsNH1ws_s1D4A97YXt8Eb_a143bhBqv_1i1cxalnbHBgPTMnC3EkQs-D3j8Xdk9Au7l0slJva8Mq88kdCaKHTlcXZTQ/s1600/imagesCADSHJCU.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi723KXVu3Qo50J_RW7pW6pKoelheHuI0-pacfknFq-L54BeteDPsNH1ws_s1D4A97YXt8Eb_a143bhBqv_1i1cxalnbHBgPTMnC3EkQs-D3j8Xdk9Au7l0slJva8Mq88kdCaKHTlcXZTQ/s320/imagesCADSHJCU.jpg" width="236" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Wiz Ed: I'd write back but I can't find my pen, snort!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">But the Great kind Wiz Ed turns a daft ear to his letter as
he is too busy promising to help the Financial Wizards by offering sacrifices
and to take more money from the poor in the hope that Rupert Warlock, The Sun
Wizard, will smile upon him. He hopes that Warlock will instruct his followers
to say that, "One day he may be<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>capable of casting enough suitably meaningless spells to convince people
to let him into the Coven of number 10."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1hOmKyITUO1AVffITMYML4UEltw8IDS_Ca1ktzs4UjiVbxexX4TPAxdhQZ4wTY73vPfweAsxr52qxhPS_P2dlTOkfBTxPB-16o3TT8ZXRdYpNrpCnAM3WXC8sgfnr26xFzKZsiXcDK_U/s1600/imagesCAK2N0C5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1hOmKyITUO1AVffITMYML4UEltw8IDS_Ca1ktzs4UjiVbxexX4TPAxdhQZ4wTY73vPfweAsxr52qxhPS_P2dlTOkfBTxPB-16o3TT8ZXRdYpNrpCnAM3WXC8sgfnr26xFzKZsiXcDK_U/s320/imagesCAK2N0C5.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Ed is not an idiot..Ed is not an idiot..vote for Ed"</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">So Wiz Ed has no time for anyone claiming to be attacked, not even those
he phoned personally to congratulate or rushed to have his portrait painted
with. No, Wiz Ed has his own plans of attack to draw up. Plans that he hopes
keep the dark forces happy enough to grant him power and wear the great cap of
benefits. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghIzME8Q3303kvlc15L4v44CGd8BEZcXVxcdLKavXXDUB3NU0o92Y3hSBeo7ndhFaKp39UQv7_szO_nlSnM5GHWihp9OdQ2s-ZlsFvxFCRotcKWVRAw47YblQaK-I7479IYDSxrPI98vY/s1600/Dumblemayor+Head+of+Hogwash.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghIzME8Q3303kvlc15L4v44CGd8BEZcXVxcdLKavXXDUB3NU0o92Y3hSBeo7ndhFaKp39UQv7_szO_nlSnM5GHWihp9OdQ2s-ZlsFvxFCRotcKWVRAw47YblQaK-I7479IYDSxrPI98vY/s400/Dumblemayor+Head+of+Hogwash.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><strong>Head of Hogwash, Professor DumbleMayor, is forced to step in.</strong></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">In the meantime, back at Hogwash, Dumblemayor, his one time
great friend and protector demands to see Harry, and tells him that he is upset
with him for carelessly flying his owl Twitter into nets. He tells Harry that
he is clearly in need of rest and should spend a month at the great hall of
Bingo until Dumbomayor decides when his number's up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">But Harry later answers questions about his holiday plans to the
great North West Lookers of the Beebee Sea, via their crystal lantern, which serves to increase
Dumbstruckmayor's fury.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGVz8RSfcJww0H9zMrbBb0-g8zB3YuFGaEwZM4r13d8t1jnN9tJ13W3qryHBqCqHL3M_E8DBK4hq45YcLac1sWPfrqR3PYzvajupy8bYHYBixz81jzc-_MtV847jiuAkgJ0RdyT0vHN6k/s1600/Joe1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGVz8RSfcJww0H9zMrbBb0-g8zB3YuFGaEwZM4r13d8t1jnN9tJ13W3qryHBqCqHL3M_E8DBK4hq45YcLac1sWPfrqR3PYzvajupy8bYHYBixz81jzc-_MtV847jiuAkgJ0RdyT0vHN6k/s400/Joe1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Dumblemayor's dilemma: Me lad's let me down. The little.....</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">"How dare Harry speak out again!" he cries, "these things
should be kept within the walls of Hogwash!" <br /><br />"What do you
think our brooms are for, other than sweeping things under the
carpet?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Appalled that Harry has again spoken publicly, in the
interests of keeping everything private, Dumblemayor, issues a public
proclamation. In it he promises that the matter will be dealt with internally
and fairly without any public reference to either party, adding that
"Harry, as a young wizard, has gone mad with the pressure and has let me down by
speaking out. He is a cause of great disappointment to me and so I have requested
that he is suspended from Hogwash and he may not engage with the villagers of
Slithertree. But now you must excuse me as I am off to a photo opportunity in
London with the lovely Scriptiana."</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeqbnn_wQlUbPgIVmfu3RfI_SXSQdthvx4lFLYLh-qfxCXIx3SCCxri6ysSSVlUTQxbO0iIU8PfMCFQPk11LaexJgUzwoBhvEj2R5TEvDDkXQF2iN1CLENujkhlOeP43ZW7OZte3PK0IQ/s1600/funny-harry-potter-quidditch-99-problems-but-a-snitch-aint-one.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeqbnn_wQlUbPgIVmfu3RfI_SXSQdthvx4lFLYLh-qfxCXIx3SCCxri6ysSSVlUTQxbO0iIU8PfMCFQPk11LaexJgUzwoBhvEj2R5TEvDDkXQF2iN1CLENujkhlOeP43ZW7OZte3PK0IQ/s320/funny-harry-potter-quidditch-99-problems-but-a-snitch-aint-one.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">And so begins the great new chapter at Hogwash, with Harry
standing alone against the power of the Scriptiana enchantment, with many of
his former friends becoming Weasleys. But there is growing revolt amongst the
villagers with them voicing their faith in Harry and those who are afraid to speak openly, for now, are rallying to
his support. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
But now s</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">ecret messages have been intercepted and published in the Liverpool Deathly
Echoes. They show signs of evil talk and attacks against Harry, with wicked ideas being
sent to the lovely Scriptiana, promising "he will be sorted" and telling her it will not be long until victory and
that she need not worry about others who try to stand in our way. <br /><br /><br />And so with
these revelations, it remains to be seen if she is the real power behind the
threat to Harry, or if there are darker forces that have set this up and drawn
her into their own private fight with more sinister motives?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And once they have used their accomplice
Scriptiana, to try and destroy Harry, will they do the same to her?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6to0l3JoBWme8z18zvaiiPwL2bcFJ-MGq4dQgtC9MJcBAioSkMBO6HWTsxIu2nN3gUEBwb6_HC1tzXzk8ZdsXQYpFgjiSWGs12NCvfSyX-jyZ6d2rB6Fe3wcmNxyoX5H9-yYImOFd1PM/s1600/Dark+forces.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6to0l3JoBWme8z18zvaiiPwL2bcFJ-MGq4dQgtC9MJcBAioSkMBO6HWTsxIu2nN3gUEBwb6_HC1tzXzk8ZdsXQYpFgjiSWGs12NCvfSyX-jyZ6d2rB6Fe3wcmNxyoX5H9-yYImOFd1PM/s320/Dark+forces.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><strong>Dark Forces working behind the scenes</strong></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">Without doubt, the fans and supporters of both Scriptiana and Harry, will
be torn between loyalties. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">They must wonder if this is just her doing or are
others also at work? Whilst it may be the case that she will strike down any
fool who accidentally calls her Scriptiola, they will remember that not so long ago, she also
fought a brave battle against forces of evil, both inside and outside of
Hogwash. Where people tried to bully her and blacken her name at that time in order to stop her becoming the Mystical Princess. They made many cruel,
wicked and unjust comments about her and even hoped her parachute, as they called it, would fail to open. And whatever some initially made of her arrival in the village of Slithertree, they rallied to her support against the bullies.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">Could it be that some of those same people who then tried to act against her may still be lurking in the background, that they have entered her magic circle
and are helping to shape events?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">In the meantime, the exiled Harry continues his battle, and we await the truth to come out. While many offer him their support, at the same time a great wall of </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">silence has been built, behind which crouch many members of the so-called Weasley family. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">And while those who seek to bring Harry down and accuse him with the crime of speaking publicly against Hogwash, they themselves publicly attempt character assassination in the very same media. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">But nobody seems to mind that and nobody else is suspended, just Harry. We await the arrival of the ducking stool and a fair hearing.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZKbnLlJw93rXPRzSUpft3-E58VDZZalHeoqczKvOYjTPp8aZI9_2EspAinYWsjVN1x5-W8dZlaW_qinzjXJTwOi7A-c9_QfRsdPSSZNXy1SvfrajskZFlRNYaKid-aQnBmxwCfnfuvVo/s1600/harry-potter-meme.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZKbnLlJw93rXPRzSUpft3-E58VDZZalHeoqczKvOYjTPp8aZI9_2EspAinYWsjVN1x5-W8dZlaW_qinzjXJTwOi7A-c9_QfRsdPSSZNXy1SvfrajskZFlRNYaKid-aQnBmxwCfnfuvVo/s320/harry-potter-meme.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">The hapless Villagers of Slithertree may yet decide, once
they get the enchanted script delivered to their doorsteps.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"><em><span style="color: red;">For a completely unrelated but similar story, see link below</span></em><br /><a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/News-and-Comment/The-Laz-Wordon-Jakes-Progress">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/News-and-Comment/The-Laz-Wordon-Jakes-Progress</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: x-large;">Tatty Bye Everybody, Tatty Bye</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Be nice to each other.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij5o6JXJaf5r_Q6hnGMI6SDp30VxsJ-xCa-XpFhie_7AsP8TByL7Y_G52_r0oSsNzfSLVqsQBrieE5m_64DsdxqhtVL_OXaL46MzN3bv1TIDP5pbJH1qOGa7PXJjvJK6tfr6h650DftJg/s1600/imagesCABU2QBD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij5o6JXJaf5r_Q6hnGMI6SDp30VxsJ-xCa-XpFhie_7AsP8TByL7Y_G52_r0oSsNzfSLVqsQBrieE5m_64DsdxqhtVL_OXaL46MzN3bv1TIDP5pbJH1qOGa7PXJjvJK6tfr6h650DftJg/s1600/imagesCABU2QBD.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-58246594037498130282013-05-22T02:24:00.000+01:002013-05-22T02:47:28.360+01:00What are UKIP's Chances in Liverpool? Didn't we have enough of swivel-eyed loons under the Lib Dem Council? Reggie McCough's student writes exclusively for Chronic Calls<span class="userContent"></span><br />
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<span class="userContent"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Zc63uoAZLSGQWCKOebTBPiZU80VYWbCPpjX0O1v1HaSOl1kM2k_lls3hEjzJweDkMg9MZOXbtNbIum_EmN3_PCCcOwUJF4ik5iLKNvBiYI4ZbraqlNQJgej_lR_9owttb1h6rGrgP8U/s1600/twit3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="368" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2Zc63uoAZLSGQWCKOebTBPiZU80VYWbCPpjX0O1v1HaSOl1kM2k_lls3hEjzJweDkMg9MZOXbtNbIum_EmN3_PCCcOwUJF4ik5iLKNvBiYI4ZbraqlNQJgej_lR_9owttb1h6rGrgP8U/s400/twit3.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="text_exposed_root text_exposed">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />My good friend the renowned local poet and former member of the Scuffles, Reggie McCough, has embraced the ideas of Mr Cameron's Big Society and is currently running a workshop to encourage new writers - or have his benefit stopped. <br /><br />With the recent controversy over alleged comments by Lord Marty Feldman, one of Reggie's students has put pen to paper in the form of a poem and Reggie passed it on to me. <br /><br />And so here is the poem by new writer, Hugh Kipp.</span><br />
<br />
<u><strong><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;"><br />THE EYES ARE THE WINDOWS OF ARSEHOLES</span></strong><br /> </u> <br />
<span style="color: purple; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Lurking in shadows they watch </span><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="color: purple; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">over you<br /> and quietly foam at the things that you do<br /> Then they tremble and snarl and start pacing their cage,<br /> faces contorted in tight suppressed rage</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">Then their brains start to steam 'til they burst like balloons<br /> And soon there's an army of Swivel-Eyed Loons<br /> <br /> Marching on nowhere they scream and they shout<br />Don't let them - in keep them all out!<br /> You can't even rest if you want to sit down<br /> with ex Ghurkhas on benches all over town<br /> Yes they fought bravely, that has to be said<br /> But if they're that patriotic, why aren't they dead?<br /><br />The country's gone mad, it's completely obscene<br /> We'll not lick the stamp of a lesbian Queen<br /> And a real man will take his own life with a gun<br /> before they can force him to marry his son<br /> We must all stand together - refuse to be beaten<br /> Though we rather enjoyed it, while we were at Eton<br /> <br /> And what of the vicar and the terrible stress<br /> of marrying two chaps in the same wedding dress?<br /> He's risking eternity trapped in hell's fire<br /> that's on top of the charge that relates to the choir<br /> Even some women have gone the same way<br /> Good God, which one's going to throw the bouquet?<br /> <br /> Damned Cameron and Clegg, are both worse than Blair<br /> he just started a war, but these swine dye their hair<br /> They said coalition is similar to marriage<br /> but not if you both have the same undercarriage<br /> Such unnatural behaviour raises the stakes<br /> increasing the risk of violent earthquakes <br /> <br /> It's been proven by science that gays are the cause<br /> of volcanoes and landslides and some nil-nil draws<br /> And though the EU is a vast evil state<br /> at least our bananas they tried to keep straight</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span class="text_exposed_show">But that's not enough to be ruled by a kraut<br /> So we're looking to UKIP to take Britain out<br /> <br /> We are backing Farage, whom we hope to elect<br /> and we'll stand right behind him, proud and erect<br /> Though it will be hard, of that there's no doubt <br /> we'll push to get in and then we'll pull out.<br /> What they do when we leave is anyone's guess<br /> but we won't come again, they can clean up the mess<br /> <br /> And we'll rebuild Great Britain with Mr Farage,<br /> and have tea on the lawn, like the days of the Raj<br /> When we kept things discrete with some trinkets and toys<br /> and a chap could relax with nice Indian boys<br /> We'll have ladies in dresses and men wearing ties<br /> if you vote for the loon with the swivelling eyes.</span></span></span></span></div>
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Hugh Kipp<br />
Age 106<br />
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<span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">Tatty Bye Everybody, Tatty Bye!<br /><br />Be nice to each other</span>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-21005591104629774542013-04-20T17:01:00.001+01:002013-04-20T20:19:53.036+01:00Controversy over "Ceremonial" celebrations around figure still despised in Liverpool<div class="text_exposed_root text_exposed" id="id_5172b29d6f4f28f45056007">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br />Security will be on high alert today, amidst threats to disrupt or stage protests during the procession and ceremony to mark Adolf Hitler’s birthday. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">At an estimated cost of over DM10,000,000, for the ceremonial rather than state party, many are upset this money could be better used to buy Tanks and Doodlebugs.</span> <br />
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<span class="text_exposed_hide">...</span><span class="text_exposed_show"> <br /> <span style="font-size: large;">The Gestapo has been monitoring social networking sites, Vogel Phiefen and Gesicht Buch, where there had been threats to disrupt the celebrations and a campaign had been launched to try and get the theme to Dad’s Army to Number One in the charts. However, a rival campaign has begun to try and get Edelweiss to the number one spot. <br /> <br /> In recent days a number of people have been arrested and shot by coalition storm troopers, including a primary school teacher, who wore a t-shirt in the class room, bearing the slogan “Hitler Butter Snatcher” <br /><br /><br /> <br /> Mr Hitler’s years in power were regarded as divisive by many countries, but love him or loathe him, everyone admits that he was a commanding presence on the world stage. Nicknamed the Iron Cross Man, by Stalin, he is credited, along with Mussolini, and Hirohito with bringing an end to the peace before the second world war.</span><br /> <span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-size: large;">However in some parts of the country, there are reports of people engaging in impromptu celebrations and winebars running out of grand cru chardonnay. Some news reports even showed people in a street off Whitehall dancing and singing: <br /> “Addy, Addy, Addy, Heil Heil Heil” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Not always popular, perhaps the defining moment of turnaround was when Hitler re-took the Sudetan Land and went on to secure successive victories at the bullet box.<br /> </span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-size: large;">He followed a determined political path that was painful for many but felt necessary to secure a thousand years of prosperity. <br /> <br /> Many of his supporters say that if he had known the misery caused by the policy of establishing controversial death camps across Europe, that he would have been shocked and indeed he often wrote touching letters to many of the families of the people he murdered saying they were next. <br /> <br /> But many agree that, whatever your feelings about his politics, this is now the birthday of an old man and people should be allowed to mark the occasion with dignity and pay respects with a few jars and some cheesy snacks.</span> </span><br />
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<span class="text_exposed_show"><br /><br /> <span style="font-size: large;">Prime Minister Mr Kamikazi said it is only extreme right that we should pay this tribute, a sentiment echoed by Chancellor Osborman, who was seen to shed a tear as the choir sang Wagner’s “O du, mein holder Abendstern” </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Since being forced out of power, by those who now line up to sneak in his policies, Mr Hitler had been a sad and lonely figure, suffering long term ill health. Since losing his beloved Eva in a shooting and cyanide accident, he spent his last 10 days almost alone in a small private suite in The Blitz.<br /> <br /> Without doubt he was a conviction politician and on this day, according to the Daily Mail, we remember, not the politics, but the man. </span> <br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />It was perhaps the Bishop of Berlin, while relating a hilarious anecdote about how during one of the Nuremburg Rallies, Hitler tried to have Goering shot for eating all the duck pate, who perhaps reminded us all of the person beneath the uniform.</span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-size: large;">Guten Tag Everybody Guten Tag</span></div>
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Be shoen to eachother</div>
Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-40504660599965009112013-03-26T13:38:00.000+00:002013-04-02T01:30:44.536+01:00Mersey Under Threat As Mayor Proposes to Sell River<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="color: black;"><strong><br /><span style="font-size: large;">At 11.45 yesterday morning, the people of Grotty Cash woke up to the shocking news that the Mayor, Joe Angryman, has proposed to sell off the stretch of the Mersey waterfront at the Pier head.</span></strong></span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">The proposal, which he claims could raise up to £100 (depending upon which developers build the ugliest model and make up the most far fetched claims) will see this stretch of the river sold in order to build a private marina, with five star bar and club house for yacht owners, drug dealers, and Russian gangsters.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">The Mayor claims that this will provide much needed revenue for the city and that it is vital towards raising funds to maintain Mann Island and clearing up all the bits falling off the Black Coffins. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Grotty Cash needs to attract millionaires with their yachts, says Joe, and we cannot achieve this without providing a proper clubhouse for them to relax in. The proposal could also create up to six jobs including, bar staff, toilet cleaners and shoe polishers. </span><span style="font-size: large;">Including tips, this could boost the local economy by over 20 shillings a week, he says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Following a public outcry, the Mayor decided that any money raised will be used to protect the area and ensure it is maintained for future generations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will be completely ring fenced, he said,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a giant electric one. This will be to keep the locals out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><span style="font-size: large;">The last thing the yachting fraternity want is a load of locals, beggars and buskers hanging around outside singing Hey Jude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This part of the river is nothing more than a yobs toilet at moment or somewhere to dump a hand gun. And it is not officially part of the river according to the original plans.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Sold Down The River?</span></span></strong><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">Cabinet member for Ebay and regeneration, Councillor Aigburth Canopy, hit back at critics, saying he will do everything in his power to ensure that the river is maintained.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a very small stretch of the river, he said, pointing to a map torn out of the Ladybird illustrated edition of the Domesday Book and has never specifically been designated at part of the main river. It was always intended to be allocated for a private luxury yachting club going back many years to the last time we tried to flog it.</span> </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><strong>Councillor Aigburth Canopy, Cabinet Member for Roundabouts</strong></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">He went on, "the river is the jewel in our clown, but we are under no statutory obligation to maintain it and we simply do not have the resources.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But now after people getting so angry about us trying to flog this bit again, we have come up with the brilliant argument that we would use some of the money to buy a mop and bucket and one of those picky-up sticks to keep it tidy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This area has been designated by me as surplus to requirements, it is not used by the public, and the fact is that this bit of the river is completely waterlogged."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To illustrate his love for the rest of the river Mr Canopy was pictured sailing his Airfix boats around the £5 Billion derelict Liverpool Waters site.</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Former leader of the Liberally Doomed Party, Lord Bonkers of Chilblains, hit out at the Mayor's plans. Dressed as King Canute and carrying a large duck under his arm,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>he said, <br /><br />"We turned the tide on them last time they tried to pull this stunt and sell off our wet spaces. This is going back to the days of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sir Troffer Jones, selling off the city's assets and our heritage with dodgy deals. And his Missus rubber-stamping appalling developments, and making themselves a packet from flogging the historical ships chandlers to go and live on a private........no hang on.... not Sir Troffer, the other bugger, Bessie Hatton...er Braddock...no, Derek...Degsy.....you know, the idiot fireman!<br /><br />No not Wally Bradlow, the other one. The Millicent Tendency."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Unfortunately Lord Bonkers's duck then began quacking furiously and he was unable to comment further as they got into a brawl.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">However, the current leader of the Coalition Apologists, Councillor Richard Chimp, soon swung into the debate. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Take no notice of Storeyteller!" he said, "..he's the bugger that spent all the money and left me to take the rap for the Boot estate fiasco. So you can't believe anything he says."</span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Adopting the bulldog spirit and Churchillian tones, Councillor Chimp said "Ohhhh Yes!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We've had all this before. We fought them on the benches, we fought them on the land. Never in the history of humourless conflict has so much been decided by so few. We are demanding that this be called in and I will oppose it with every hair in my moustache"</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So once again, under the guise of regeneration, parts of Grotty Cash are at risk of being handed to fast buck developers, in order to build playgrounds and more habitats for the well off. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's now with the promise that some of the money raised will be used to provide a parking space for a dozen hot dog and burger vans for obese families to queue up at every time an outdoor music festival is cancelled due to the weather.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Acres of derelict land stretch across the city, Warren's War Zones, helped and encouraged by Prescot's disasterous HMRI and the zealots who saw only demolition as the answer, detroying housing that would last another couple of centuries to build cardboard estates with a lifespan of 30 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">But those clearance areas are now largely left to sit and rot, along with the people around them. Many of those people will face redundancies, long term unemployment, with attacks and cuts in benefits. Some may even be forced out of their homes because of the bedroom tax while there is no alternative, affordable housing. <br /><br />If this carries on, people may start getting the idea that the regeneration priority is only about executive homes, luxury apartments, Shanghai Towers, conference centres, penthouses, hotels, bars and Harvey Nicks. They may start to think that nobody is interested in the communities and problems faced by ordinary people. All they are interested in is the developers, grabbing land on the cheap and property few ordinary people can afford with offices and hotels we don't need.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">And if they ask why nothing is being done to develop housing for those who are in most need, they may start to believe it's<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>because that doesn't enrich developers. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">The developers are more than happy to sit on the vast stretches of land that they were given, literally, at "Knock Down" prices. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The thing is, once it's gone, it's gone and the money raised from sales like this will soon be gone too. For what? Short term economics, robbing Peter to pay Peel.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>So is it all about money and being made bankrupt by the coalition slashing the LA grant?<br /><br />There is possibly one service that could produce a major saving and raise money. Our old friend Liverpool Direct Ltd.</strong></span><br />
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A resource a resource my mayordom for a resource!</blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"If they can afford Liverpool Direct, they must have money to burn"</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br />Well maybe Eric Pickles thinks we don't need such a large grant as we seem to have a lot of cash to spend on one particular service.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Because with all of the cuts and increasing lack of resources to finance council services, with millions more cuts to come, we still maintain a joint venture contract for a call centre that keeps you waiting, only to speak to some poor bugger being screamed at in their earpiece to get you off the line if you go over 3 minutes, who knows nothing about the service you need and just reads from a script. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">A deal that has us financially strangled by contracts for IT equipment that costs up to 3 times the price of what's available on the high street and includes a compulsory maintenance charge three times the value of the actual equipment.<br /><br /><strong>The Untouchables with Robbit Stack as 'Elluva Mess.</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">A so-called joint venture that refuses to reveal expenditure and income to the council, a "joint venture" that has contract deals with other authorities and services, making millions in profit and yet none of that profit comes back to the city....the partner, who can't even get access to their books. <br /><br />And yet we cry poverty whilst handing them buckets of cash, with no idea of what we are being charged for. Yes we are facing severe savage cuts, but does Liverpool Direct Ltd still seem unaffected by any cutbacks and untouchable?<br /><br />So in such circumnstances, every time we hear about how we must raise vital resources, why we must cut this service, sell off this asset or bit of green space and how we face another £30 million cuts, there is the fundamental question of why we continue to pay over £60 Million a year to Liverpool Direct?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br /><br />They simply refuse to abide by their own contractual obligations around open finances and transparency. It's all there in the contract but they won't reveal it and the city makes no demands on them to account for the services they provide and still seem to be running scared of challenging them. We just hand them the money with little or no proper scrutiny. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">We continue to make the Directors and BT richer at the taxpayers expense and at the expense of some of the services that are in danger and being cut.<br /><br />People may start asking why?<br /><br />Just a thought.<br /><br /><strong><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;"></span></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">Tatty Bye Everybody...Tatty Bye</span></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Be Nice to eachother</strong>....<br />(by the way, sad news. Derek Batey is dead now so I'm keeping that slogan for myself and he can't touch me for it.)<br /><br />Read more here, just in case I have got any of the facts wrong.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/News-and-Comment/Sale-of-Sefton-Park-Meadowlands-approved">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/News-and-Comment/Sale-of-Sefton-Park-Meadowlands-approved</a><br /><br /><br />and here<br /><br /><a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/News-and-Comment/Meadows-next-to-Sefton-Park-in-housing-sell-off">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/News-and-Comment/Meadows-next-to-Sefton-Park-in-housing-sell-off</a></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sefton Park Meadows Part of Picnic protest day April 1st 2012<br />Around 500 people attended throughout the afternoon event</td></tr>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span></span><br />Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-87433346471919083412012-11-23T22:00:00.000+00:002012-11-23T13:02:47.236+00:00Hope Street: Liverpool Poet, Reggie McCough Celebrates in verse as it is named Best Street, by The Urban Tarmac Academy. The Mayor is at the palace as Queen hides the biscuits and more Custard Pie-scrapers Announced <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>By Jove Missus, it's been a great few weeks for Liverpool!</strong><br /><br />Plans are announced to create a new recreation and leisure area for the city, which will involve a multi million pound project to fill the Mersey with water. Right next to it, they are planning to build The Leaning Tower Of Custard, which will be the 2nd biggest flypaper in Europe.<br /><br />All of this is going on in the city, alongside Peel Holdups transformation of the North Docks. And once they track down the 3 main Chinese investors, Hu Aah Yu, Hi Lee Do Chi and Fat Chens, I am really looking forward to 2092 when they hope to lay the first foundation stones.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">But on top of all this missus...yes there's more, the city also received two great honours. <br /><br />The Mayor of Liverpool, is given an IOU at Buckingham Palace. (no sign of the £130m yet)<br /><br />And the Academy Of Tarmacadamy names HOPE STREET as the best street in the Universe. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">And it's the Hope Street award I am celebrating here today. Now for those of you who like me threw up in the city (Editorial Note: Do you mean "grew up in the city"?) you will remember that Hope Street used to be nothing but a dirt track. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">At one end there was the Catholic Cathedral and at the other end, the Protestant one. Just a stones throw from eachother. Well once they threw enough stones, a lady called Hilary Porridge, gathered them all up and used them to lay pavement down either side.<br /><br />Some say that created the rise of Hope Street - by about 4 inches. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Well whoever got it off the ground, this award is recognition of everybody's hard work over the years turning it into the most prestig...prestigou...pres....destprig...one of the finest streets in Europe, and they all deserve to be congratulated. <br /><br />So what better way to celebrate, than to call on my old friend, local poet launderette Reggie McCough, from the popular 60s brawling group, "The Scuffles" to write an ode to Hope Street. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjMXnbOd__NEipEf3MZYpwlyhPTUZz_EU-cxx2fslmmBroD5ucuZxpMNJx9QFTbV7fXD9lVPJgv4mvbFtBwWRvMjhUeWq7F-Llox_z294UjCYTtyq45x77f1aFgv1F6W8O1Fs1669E9bQ/s1600/_42216540_longford_203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjMXnbOd__NEipEf3MZYpwlyhPTUZz_EU-cxx2fslmmBroD5ucuZxpMNJx9QFTbV7fXD9lVPJgv4mvbFtBwWRvMjhUeWq7F-Llox_z294UjCYTtyq45x77f1aFgv1F6W8O1Fs1669E9bQ/s400/_42216540_longford_203.jpg" width="318" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">Reggie McCough <br />of The Scuffles<br />Liverpool Poet Laundrette.</span></strong></td></tr>
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<br />Now some of you may know, if you read the article on Liverpool Cumfydentures, that the Urban Tarmac Academy, has it's own poet in residence, Harold MacMillen. Now he knocked something off to mark the award. Well I'm sorry, I read it and I don't know what he's on about. <a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/Culture/Architecture/Hope-Street-wins-Great-Street-Award"><span style="font-size: small;">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/Culture/Architecture/Hope-Street-wins-Great-Street-Award</span></a><br />
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He's worse than that Nerhys Hughes when she was the Poet Launderette. If you asked Hughes to do a quick Limerick about the Queen Mother choking on a fishbone, or anything for that matter, it would start off something like;<br /><br />"Dead stoat - his rotting tongue stuck to a frozen nettle. Pecked at by a sadistic lark."<br /><br />Well this poet Macmillan is a bit like that. Not only does it not rhyme like a proper poem that you get in the Echo from their readers...well sometimes... but he goes on about hanging out the washing in the street!<br /><br />What the bleedin' hell has a washing line got to do with it?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">So here we are, the latest work from Reggie McCough</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">In celebration of Hope Street.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"><u><span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong>Hope Is Where The Harp Is</strong></span></u>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;"><strong>By Reggie McCough</strong></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">Imagine putting a washing line (Oh for God's sake!)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Along a busy street </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Hanging all your knickers out</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">with a pillowcase and sheet</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">and the sheet had great big holes in it</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">like a ghost ship's tattered sails</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">but the rips were not caused by a storm</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">It's 'cos Mother won't cut her nails</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">And all along that busy street</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">on the pavement either side</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Artists, and performers</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">often will collide</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Actors quoting Shakespeare's line </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">"Aye there is the rub"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">and all colliding once again</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">when they fall out of the pub.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">A happy place, a magic street</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">where no one has a frown</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">With a theatre and famous Bistro</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">'til the soft gets knocked it down</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">where people come together</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">and all roll up their sleeves</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">But the Masons roll their kecks up</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">that's what everyone believes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">With fine cuisine available </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">for commoner or toff</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">But you won't find Tesco sarnies</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">as they were told sod off.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">And a gentleman's marble lavatory</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">the Ladies think quite grand</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">that's if they're not distracted</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">by what the bloke's got in his hand</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">There's a Catholic Cathedral</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">where communion wine is sipped</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">shaped like a headless Dalek</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">on top of Lutyen's Crypt</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">There's another at the other end</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">where the Anglicans all sing</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">So no chance of Sunday kip</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">when both their church bells ring</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">And a family friendly festival</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">that really can't be missed</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Not like the one in Matthew Street</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">where half the crowd are pissed</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">With music and performers</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">amazing food and stalls</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">where even Living Statues</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">don't get kicked in the orchestra stalls</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">And when it comes to music</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">there is the crowning glory</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">of an orchestra that's world renowned</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">The Royal Liverpool Tandoori</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">And with their trombones blowing</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">an anthem by George Chisholm</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">The award, I'm sure, they helped secure</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">from the Academy of Urbanism</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">So now along the washing line</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">a brand new sheet's unfurled</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">Proclaiming its official</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: large;">The best street in the world </span></div>
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Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-11497808044886425252012-11-09T02:19:00.000+00:002012-11-09T09:11:12.602+00:00A new Archbishop Of Canterbury is announced but not the Scouser we were all hoping for. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br />By Jove Missus, they have announced former TV Doctor, Marcus Welby MD as the new Archbishop of Canterbury. As you know, I take a great interest in religious matters, as well as politics and I was hoping that the job would go to the current Bishop Of Bradford, Mick Brains, who is a scouser. In fact i had a tenner on him. But gambling is a sin and it serves me right. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I recall the biblical passage from the Psalms of St Benny On The Hill<br /><br /><em><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>As David said to Issiah</strong></span></em></span><br />
<em><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Life isn't all milk and all honey<br />He said Issiah come forth</strong></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>But Issiah came fifth</strong></span></em><br />
<em><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>and that's how he lost all his money</strong></span></em><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span style="font-size: large;">My good friend the local poet and scaffolder, Reggie McCough, was preparing a celebratory poem for the announcement but at the last minute has had to do a major re-write for Bishop Welby. In doing the research for the poem, Reggie discovered that the traditional residence for the Archbishop Of Canterbury is cursed with a terrible and mysterious odour. Evensong Pong, some call it. <br /><br />And so Reggie has written this piece.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>SNIFFING THE BISHOP</strong><br /> By Reggie McCough<br /> <br /> What on Earth can that awful smell be?</span></span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Cried the new Archbishop, Justin Welby<br /> <br /> Don't blame Rowan Williams, he had kept it airy<br /> but a stink still prevailed and he claimed it was Carey<br /> <br /> But Carey once said "it's all very queer...<br /> Can I still smell Runcie's foot odour in here?"<br /> <br /> But Coggan said, Runcie smelled more like a pansy<br /> No it stunk when I started, I think it was Ramsey.<br /> <br /> But an anonymous note signed from a well wisher<br /> Said, don't look at Michael, you can blame Geoffrey Fisher.<br /> <br /> But Fisher recalled that during the war<br /> William Temple had smelled it and simply wrote phwoar!<br /> <br /> So the terrible smell, with the terrible tang<br /> could well have belonged to old Cosmo Lang<br /> <br /> But Cosmo blamed Davidson, who got quite irate, <br /> blaming Temple and Benson or Archibald Tait!<br /> <br /> And so it went on this historical link<br /> blaming each ex Archbishop for the terrible stink<br /> <br /> Back through Longley and Sumner and Howley and Sutton, <br /> Cornwallis said, check what you just put your foot on<br /> <br /> The stink was too great to just blame Thomas Secker<br /> But Matthew Hutton, they say, was a smelly old fecker<br /> <br /> Thomas Herring proclaimed, as his last dying wish,<br /> Don't let them blame me ' cos my name's like a fish<br /> <br /> And when poor Herring died in 1757 <br /> he hoped that he'd not take smell up to heaven.<br /> <br /> He need not have worried or shed any tears<br /> for it stunk there while vacant for 15 long years<br /> <br /> Before 1645 to 1660, <br /> William Laud had looked quite shifty.<br /> <br /> He said Abbot and Bancroft had both blamed poor Whitgift.<br /> Both swore on oath that the smelly old git whiffed.<br /> <br /> But historians have uncovered this rare citation<br /> from Matthew Parker, just post reformation<br /> <br /> "In 1558 Cardinal Reginald Pole<br /> Was called Cardinal Sin for his right smelly hole."<br /> <br /> And it seems where he sat he would curse with the smell<br /> Of Beelzebub's bottom - the odour from hell.<br /> <br /> Nobody knows why he suffered this curse<br /> But it's generally agreed that nothing smells worse<br /> <br /> So if you think each Archbishop has a miserable gob<br /> He's just suffering the smell that goes with the job.</span><br />
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<span style="color: red;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Bye<br />Be Nice To Each Other</strong></span></span></div>
</span><em><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span></em>Watch out for my review of the plans to rebuild Liverpool and The Great Tower of Custard.<br />Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-76294636555852856202012-05-02T01:19:00.000+01:002012-05-05T15:47:30.859+01:00Liverpool Elected Mayor. Full final candidate analysis on Liverpool Confidential by the country's top poltical puntit. All the runners and riders and those just shovelling up afterwards.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;"><br />By Jove Missus, it's decision time for Liverpool.</span></strong> <br />
Who will be the first Elected Mayor of Grotty Cash. You will find my full paralytical analysis on, LIVERPOOL CONFIDENTIAL. The only on-line local journal that gives it to you straight. It is too big an issue for my humble "blog site".....actually, somebody shouted that at me the other day! <br />
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So Liverpool Confidential agreed to share it with the nation.Click on the link below for the only full analysis of ALL the candidates. Yes missus, the political giants are walking amongst us. And as there are no public lavatories any more, best take an umbrella.<br />
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<a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/Not-Confidential/On-the-hustings-Liverpool-mayor"><span style="font-size: large;">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/Not-Confidential/On-the-hustings-Liverpool-mayor</span></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br />Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Bye<br /><br />Be nice to each other</span>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-32241134131927981742012-04-02T00:28:00.003+01:002012-04-02T01:35:01.935+01:00Local Media Mayoral Election Coverage and original Fine Art works to be flogged to highest bidder in attempt to raise funds for Mayor Campaign<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8KH0KnQwVK_hrGeSMZ68AUSoGzl53vpExp_7TK5bNxjwftJT8x9pSxlE3mLM60YGCAyfD3FIp7deQmw-xmlWMWSvne4BFFCyJAoWel6JEb2wa8XEbTlKOGYAmp32fr9isTAH-2X0pRuM/s1600/Election1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8KH0KnQwVK_hrGeSMZ68AUSoGzl53vpExp_7TK5bNxjwftJT8x9pSxlE3mLM60YGCAyfD3FIp7deQmw-xmlWMWSvne4BFFCyJAoWel6JEb2wa8XEbTlKOGYAmp32fr9isTAH-2X0pRuM/s640/Election1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;"><strong>Read the full story here on <br />
<u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Liverpool Confidential</span></u> <br />
by our own Chronicspondent <br />
Prof. "Scoop" Chucklebutty</strong></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/Not-Confidential/On-the-hustings-mayor-Liverpool"><span style="font-size: large;">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/Not-Confidential/On-the-hustings-mayor-Liverpool</span></a><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-size: x-large;"><strong>In other news:</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Lib Dems seem to be struggling to make an impact in the race for Mayor.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL7do5hK2Yk3EKcX0HXcKiIX6WWwRj3sQLqsmK0ps6_ZmwXsAuLhHFDC8pPJoyX_uYhr3ah_a2G_u3sEFU77FdRrttWdUBAFmqtqzShGAMwNuh8-y1Rvz_LvtBCKnsW4c0Yj60Jx4M_80/s1600/Kemp+Campaign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL7do5hK2Yk3EKcX0HXcKiIX6WWwRj3sQLqsmK0ps6_ZmwXsAuLhHFDC8pPJoyX_uYhr3ah_a2G_u3sEFU77FdRrttWdUBAFmqtqzShGAMwNuh8-y1Rvz_LvtBCKnsW4c0Yj60Jx4M_80/s640/Kemp+Campaign.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Richard Kemp For Mayor Campaign photo</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">As for my own campaign to be mayor, thanks to my campaign manager, having blown all the campaign funds on post victory snacks, including 3 tonnes of cream cheese and onion dip (which has already gone off!) I am having to try and raise the money myself</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">And so I offer some fine contemporary rock and pop portraits from my private collection.<br />
Offers in region of £20,000.<br />
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Now the thing is most of these portraits are usually depicting them as they were years ago. What's the point of that? Mine are all up to date.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">For every one sold I'll donate a free pasty to George Osborne.<br />
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<span style="color: red;"><strong>Lot.1<br />
MACCA</strong></span></span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2bO-W3SDczM5Zx9nN1soDmpm4Ht8bYSlIBHWLNgLayYNbPt06Z7j0Y1QDjIf_PSakaIiO7_ftWNPflQjampXZoThI1kZXqluiWKHktsUEV_JHEksHef898naYQNp3B3tLdytJxC1Z0dM/s1600/Sir+Paul.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="488" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2bO-W3SDczM5Zx9nN1soDmpm4Ht8bYSlIBHWLNgLayYNbPt06Z7j0Y1QDjIf_PSakaIiO7_ftWNPflQjampXZoThI1kZXqluiWKHktsUEV_JHEksHef898naYQNp3B3tLdytJxC1Z0dM/s640/Sir+Paul.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sir Pete MacCartney</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">Staying with Herman's Hermits, the next one is as contemporary as I could manage.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: red;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">Lot.2<br />
Jim Lennon and Yaki Doodle</span></strong></span></div><span style="color: red;"><strong></strong></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKsF-mgxHszAbeNWOQrvpyDwhGoROWnER2r6MU9yB2xAC5_Ylv-3CQHjDUxMfcEHjZz2kWK-i03ocBCp33e4cIctF2WrncwcmxswKFd8Tnh_hq-0d-th-f_XloWh61Wr4ODRcaKpX6JX4/s1600/John+n+Yogi+blue+specs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="488" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKsF-mgxHszAbeNWOQrvpyDwhGoROWnER2r6MU9yB2xAC5_Ylv-3CQHjDUxMfcEHjZz2kWK-i03ocBCp33e4cIctF2WrncwcmxswKFd8Tnh_hq-0d-th-f_XloWh61Wr4ODRcaKpX6JX4/s640/John+n+Yogi+blue+specs.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">John and Yoko</td></tr>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">Often in the shadows of the Beatles but still churning them out</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Lot.3 <br />
Clit Richard</strong></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sorry it's Cliff Richardson not Clit Richardson</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">But where would we be without the 60s and 70s?</span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">Although maybe a bit out of fashion possibly because of the daft clothes. If you'd like to see the leader of the gang hanging somewhere, then Lot 3 should be right up your alley.</span></div><strong><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">Lot.3 </span></strong><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><strong><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">Gary Gutter</span></strong></div><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gary Glitter King of Glam Dock</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;">And for the soundtrack for the slightly duller more maudlin pop fan, those Blokes over troubled water</span></div><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Lot.4</strong></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Simpson and Garfknuckle</strong></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Here's to you Mrs Rogerson <br />
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<div align="left"><span style="font-size: large;">Actually, you can have Simpson and Garfknuckle a bit cheaper than the others as I got mixed up over which one was the shortarse</span>. .</div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div align="left"><br />
</div><div align="justify"><span style="font-size: large;">So Ladies and Gentlemen, these portraits have been praised by art critic Brian Sewer and they are now available to you. Getty has been after them, so you had better get your bids in.<br />
<br />
(sorry no, a woman called Betty has been after them....well just the one of Cliff)<br />
<br />
I am hoping to raise £20,000,0000 in the sale towards my campaign to be Elected Mayor. But frankly, if I raise more the £200 quid I'll be off to Blackpool for a piss-up instead.<br />
<br />
</span><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;"><strong>Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Bye</strong></span></div></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-84573125115506734062012-02-01T00:11:00.011+00:002012-02-08T17:46:24.617+00:00ELECTED MAYOR FOR LIVERPOOL CAMPAIGN.The campaign becomes a three horse race and one rooster as Herbert The hairdresser offers an alternative to the cuts as a fringe candidate.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYKJEcw15kb6-JgujbJual3xB6KoO5AzLrbwp0snEk32LJmacV1eybDo0YVCpb7AYl2NqOKHcInMh_Z0bjYPZJSGXsAgdDghOx1ScmCCBFB8pZ0iQCtVp6OsHaBtI7cPsIW4fU7fMYO4s/s1600/imagesCA0531NT.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYKJEcw15kb6-JgujbJual3xB6KoO5AzLrbwp0snEk32LJmacV1eybDo0YVCpb7AYl2NqOKHcInMh_Z0bjYPZJSGXsAgdDghOx1ScmCCBFB8pZ0iQCtVp6OsHaBtI7cPsIW4fU7fMYO4s/s400/imagesCA0531NT.jpg" width="351" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong>Herbert enters race for Elected Mayor</strong></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="border: currentColor;"><strong><span style="color: #660000; font-size: large;">By Jove Missus, what a beautiful day! What a beautiful day for running into the hairdressers naked, sitting upside down in the chair and saying how’s that for split ends? </span></strong></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Blimey! He’s back, you all cry as one. What’s got him out of rehab?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I haven’t been away Missus, I’ve been on Facebewk. Yes Facebewk, the great social nitworking site where you get to make friends from all around the world and then delete them. I have more friends on Facebewk than I could shake a stick at, and having seen some of the stuff they write about, I’m keeping hold of that bloody stick in case I ever meet any of them. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Now what you may also not know is that there is a campaign on Facebewk to have me as the first elected mayor for Liverpool. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I blogged about it many times in the past. You see Missus, a few years ago that bloke who used to do the weather for Northwest Tonight, Foghorn Leggarty, I say Leggarty, was always going round with a big roll of bus tickets trying to get people to write their names on them. He said if he could get 5000 signatures we could have a vote on an elected mayor. He was up to 4,500 he claimed and was turning up everywhere trying to get people to sign it, well only if it wasn't raining. Trouble is, one day when he was out canvassing for signatures at the Arriva bus depot, he put it down for a minute and one of the drivers walked off with it. So for the last five years, he’s been walking the streets of Liverpool muttering to himself and picking up all the discarded bus tickets looking for signed ones. It’s a terrible sad sight.</span> <br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong>Foghorn Leggarty offered nugget of hope at last</strong></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;">But at the time, Foghorn was the only one arguing for an elected mayor so I tried to form an alliance with him and let him lead my campaign to be mayor, following fears and rumours that Professor Full Ripewind may stand. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">You remember Professor Ripewind, scruffy bloke, big bushy scousebrow, looks like he's got two dead spaniels strapped to his head, and has a smile like a loose doner kebab. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If you remember, once Blair didn't give him his expected knighthood, he suddenly became big mates with Cameron and Pickles instead. He was hoping to be the Czar for a Big Society Scouse Wedding, so they could get rid of all the museum and library staff and have them run instead by unemployed but experienced volunteers, which would mainly be the staff that have been made redundant in the first place. It’s what they call a “win-win” Anyway, they didn't make him the Czar and when everyone laughed, and the council opted out of anything to do with the Big Society nonesense, he got a right weed on saying he would be much better at doing things than the council, just like the way he saved Capital of Custard, when he took over 10 minutes before it started and claimed all the credit. The Custard Supremo, as the idiots at the Echo dubbed him and unfortunately, he and some people believe it and actually listen to him. The Echo loves him, they even let him write a column in the Post. Although nobody knows what the bleedin' hell he's talking about. Especially him.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Well we couldn’t risk him becoming Mayor, the man whose main contribution to our city of culture was the creation of the “Calm Down, Calm Down” image of Liverpool; all perms and tracksuits. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Because of him, visitors used to be frightened to eat in our restaurants in case there was a body in the pate. They were scared to come here in case Tommy McCardle hung them upside down in the back of Sayers. Even New Brighton was ruined by him when people stopped going for a swim in case they got entangled in Theresa’s cardigan. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">That’s why I first decided to stand. He had to be stopped. The Emmerdale Terrorist, as he’s known in Yorkshire, the Beckindale Butcher! He had Archie Brooks burned to death. We can't let a man like that run our great city. But it all seemed to fizzle out and for a long time, it all went quiet.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong>Professor Full Ripewind. "I wouldn't let a hairdresser anywhere near me"</strong></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;">Just as well really, seeing as Foghorn Leggarty, I say Leggarty, ignored my offer and carried on trying to find his list. Then he started a new one and was regularly seen tormenting shoppers in Home Bargain trying to get them to sign it, although one day he wasted 5 hours trying to get a signature from the cardboard cut-out policeman by the entrance. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Since then he’s done the odd publicity stunt, like the time he climbed to the top of St John’s Beacon and unfurled a banner reading “An Elected Mayor for Liver” he couldn’t fit the rest on, well it was more of an old pillowcase than a banner. You couldn’t see it, or him. But it was lucky he had some wine gums on him as while he was up there, somebody closed the trap door and he was stuck up their for three days. He could have perished if it hadn’t been for Pete Pricerite on City F.OFF. Peter was planning to abseil down it for charity and just popped up there to have a look for himself, just to see how high it was, after everybody was telling him that he didn’t need ropes on the actual day, they were only for practicing on the backyard wall.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaRcDKrek0cPZZtCqcXjXM94mYvaRS-pHWGzeh-p4oFh9Amx4LfmU7pa8A4PXRRYRVKl8uKlS-7IcY89k3puv2UMP02wB05XEPXoGUKtQiIbgxDWl1vSbITWqFlvYvBt2KrMSNbK_8rXw/s1600/000BFE8A-3C7B-1F95-B51C80BFB6FA0000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="cssfloat: left; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaRcDKrek0cPZZtCqcXjXM94mYvaRS-pHWGzeh-p4oFh9Amx4LfmU7pa8A4PXRRYRVKl8uKlS-7IcY89k3puv2UMP02wB05XEPXoGUKtQiIbgxDWl1vSbITWqFlvYvBt2KrMSNbK_8rXw/s400/000BFE8A-3C7B-1F95-B51C80BFB6FA0000.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="border: currentColor;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So it was our local hero, Pete Pricerite, who found and rescued Foghorn, I say Foghorn. Leggarty that is. Pete often mentions it on his phone abuse radio show. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">“I saaaaaved his friggin’ life and he hasn't once asked me to stand as Mayor! Me, the obvious choice, the voice of Liverpool. Do you know wha' I wish I’d pushed him off. Right let’s see what vile friggin’ no mark is on line one. Gerra friggin’ job ya lazy so and so, who’s paying the bill for you to phone me? Wha? Oh sorry, we are joined by the Bishop of Liverpool, the Reverend Tom Jones …that’s not unusual.</span><span style="font-size: large;">Aaahhaahhahhhahahhahahahahahaha, I’ve still got it.........just ask Paul O'Grady, he'll tell ya. ”</span> </div><div style="border: currentColor;"><br />
</div><div style="border: currentColor;"><span style="font-size: large;">So for ages after that, nothing was happening about an elected mayor until a couple of weeks ago when suddenly the Labour leader of Liverpool Council, Gerry Anderson, thunders "Mayors Are Go!" </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">No sooner had the announcement been made than I was inundated by a knock at the front door. It was from my former campaign manager from Facebewk, Mrs Slovenia, to tell me that the cream cheese dip for my victory banquet had gone off. Well we did buy it in 2009. She said you’d better let me know soft lad, are you still standing or what? She needed to know if she should get more cheese and possibly some onion dip. </span><span style="font-size: large;">I said how much is the pay? If it’s over 300k and I get to stand on the balcony at the town hall with Ringo, I’ll do it.</span></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Well you can imagine the excitement across the city and of course once news spread, Foghorn Leggarty, I say Leggarty, sticks his beak in and decides he’s going to stand, just to spite me. But then he has the cheek to moan about Joe Andyman bypassing a referendum and going straight for a vote. This is what you wanted isn’t it? Don’t tell me after all these years, sleeping behind the back of the burned out church, on binbags full of bus tickets that if there had been a referendum, and they all voted no, that you would have said, oh alright then and gone home? There’s no pleasing some people. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Anyway, I can discount Leggarty, I say Leggarty, he’s no threat now. Nobody knows him not since he stopped doing the weather. It’s Diane Oxberry, they’d vote for now. He’ll be busy for the next few months trying to think up a policy. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">That’s the problem for people like Foghorn, I say Foghorn. He never thought it would actually get this far. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I suppose it's a bit like those blokes who used to stand at the Pier Head for years carrying a placard saying; </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>“The end of the world is nigh, prepare to meet thy maker, be ready for the day of judgement!”</strong> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">One clap of thunder and they run off screaming!</span><br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg28uDhU2Q__fw2Y4zD5wIWsRwRfswOJFiRYwl2unMUmYl6Yh3ekovsWhPayyZmxHZKQszyt1auR1R0EzxCpyOI-xK18Q-F_RGvs1OFfkBQ2XSs6P2qMO3FC72MDDDLwvWWHlkX22SfwgY/s1600/imagesCA49C6UJ.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg28uDhU2Q__fw2Y4zD5wIWsRwRfswOJFiRYwl2unMUmYl6Yh3ekovsWhPayyZmxHZKQszyt1auR1R0EzxCpyOI-xK18Q-F_RGvs1OFfkBQ2XSs6P2qMO3FC72MDDDLwvWWHlkX22SfwgY/s400/imagesCA49C6UJ.jpg" width="290" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong>Elected Murder For Liverpool unless we do something says Anderson</strong></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Well I have to admit Mr Ambleside’s decision not to have a referendum is controversial. People are saying it’s undemocratic. The biggest critic is perhaps the deputy leader of the Literally Doomed Party Councillor Dodgy Tash. Of course he’s a fine one to go on about undemocratic decisions. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Dodgy Tash's party leader is the un-elected deputy prime minister. The professional liar, the man with the pledge, who is jointly responsible for slashing the council budget to the point whereby the very poorest in our city are paying for the greed of the thieving bankers. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So I expect any offer from the government of grants for £130 million if you opt to have an elected mayor right now, is enough to make anyone in Joe Amplesize's position risk the backlash, especially when your daily task since being elected is what are we going to have to shut down next, to save this? How many more do we need to make redundant to keep this going? Oh yes I know they could make a stand and set an illegal budget. A great noble gesture, but the likely outcome would be that the government would sit back and watch the city go bankrupt rubbing their hands with glee. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So I don’t think we need any lectures on democracy and fairness from the Lit-Dooms or Cllr Tash. who is probably already writing his own Mayoral campaign leaflets. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Grotty Cash Needs Dodgy Tash"</span><br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF6FdeomV1U1KULC8StCfnGerQ7WudIAURRrwS3Qt4oSuiN7ek6ADCeEA_RNH2_JsgT-Q5fofStFTyE1mZC8QIU8u5CyZOBbpmB4b0pBOXGb_nXGaoK3jrmXs-nrkmOFBkTAnu5t1cGnM/s1600/untitled.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF6FdeomV1U1KULC8StCfnGerQ7WudIAURRrwS3Qt4oSuiN7ek6ADCeEA_RNH2_JsgT-Q5fofStFTyE1mZC8QIU8u5CyZOBbpmB4b0pBOXGb_nXGaoK3jrmXs-nrkmOFBkTAnu5t1cGnM/s320/untitled.bmp" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong>Corky Kemp Deputy Leader of the Liverpool Cuts Party</strong></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;">The fact is that we are ruled from Westminster by lying blackmailers and thieves, who are themselves owned and only allowed to play politics by permission of the major banks, financial institutions and media moguls. But I suspect the rationale is that if we can get a breathing space locally with a big wedge of cash, then I can partly see why Mr Anklesock has taken this path. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I can’t agree with the decision 100% but I can certainly understand it. I just hope he can and has read all the small print. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Of course I can't vote for him, not when I am standing myself. Oh no Missus, I'm committed, there's no going back - I’ve already bought the hat! It’s got big Ostrich feathers on it. They’ll tickle your fancy. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But as I'm mainly in it for the money, it could be the dream ticket really. Joe Ambersol takes the flak for doing it without a referendum and in the backlash I storm to victory and take control of the city. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Once I get my hands on the £130 million and get a few odd jobs done around the house, buy the missus a new housecoat and a Justin Biever bed jacket for Mrs Hewitt, I'll just pop £5 million into my Coutts account and Joe can have the rest. I'll always put Liverpool second. And that's a promise. Although I may not spend much time here with £5million in the bank. I might move to Frodsham, buy the house next door to Professor Ripewind. I’ll still do the odd fete, cut the ribbons and judge the biggest turnip competition, although i hear the local turnip is now standing as an independent after selecting himself down at the allotments. </span><br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Z-hA-6BJpDfknH1TVuFrDr10Jui65IYDwcl1Is3_gmhjzhq_QhOIMXI38hC9ur2WZ2kfucD0p7H9bWebauL9tyPFT2MXXye-vP_wqDHvRq5MhNUvrJX_kkEwhPmuW_9E2baF0SIrNz8/s1600/imagesCAPYGBL7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="192" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7Z-hA-6BJpDfknH1TVuFrDr10Jui65IYDwcl1Is3_gmhjzhq_QhOIMXI38hC9ur2WZ2kfucD0p7H9bWebauL9tyPFT2MXXye-vP_wqDHvRq5MhNUvrJX_kkEwhPmuW_9E2baF0SIrNz8/s320/imagesCAPYGBL7.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: small;">"The Lib Cleggs have betrayed Liverpool </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: small;">that's why I am standing in the allotment </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: small;">and proud to have selected myself as an Independent Turnip."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: small;">Says former leader,Washed-up Badly</span></strong></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: large;">Of course I will contribute to the mayoral manifesto. There are certain changes I want to see. Like I want to see the waterfront from the Albert Dock again, so those black coffin monstrosities will be demolished. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And if Peel want to build shanghai towers and Liverpool waters, they can do it first on the Boot Estate or in Norris Green and Anfield. Let’s regenerate them first. Give them some luxury apartments and jobs. Not that they'll ever build anything, they are just making it up on the back of a fag packet. I've been building a shed for 30 years so I can see through them.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA2ltuHcBbXknKV7clagN71Ls2fwN0kAlxiYjD40-2EkX9vtHOuzJSUm6sV4v7799IlAbblozho1bFoVd4V9q3zDNZnZa4pHDhSQMCVWtG5IyR1v8rM_k4cV2Of66gRbqKdKc32v9mkNU/s1600/Peel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="232" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA2ltuHcBbXknKV7clagN71Ls2fwN0kAlxiYjD40-2EkX9vtHOuzJSUm6sV4v7799IlAbblozho1bFoVd4V9q3zDNZnZa4pHDhSQMCVWtG5IyR1v8rM_k4cV2Of66gRbqKdKc32v9mkNU/s640/Peel.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div><div style="border: currentColor;"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: large;">In fact I may take a lead on quite a few things come to think of it. I will grant a 24 hour licence to Greggs and Sayers, restore the old Irish Centre and give it to the Welsh Presbytarians who had their lovely church by Penny Lane demolished. It's a disgrace that they knocked that down! The Beatles used to have a waz up against those walls. Beatles City? Bulldozer City more like!<br />
<br />
Speaking of which who’s that bugger from Magullible Property Demolitions, the ones who smashed up Josephine Butler House behind a tarpaulin after pretending they were preserving the external stonework with a sledge hammer? <br />
<br />
They knocked it down leaving all the rough brick exposed. A right eyesore, just so we could have a 15 space carpark. Are they the same ones who took a sledge hammer to the ornate stone carved Victorian fronts of the old education offices in Sir Thomas Street, so they could demolish it and build a Perspex lunchbox? <br />
<br />
I’ll have a similar preservation order slapped on his house, see how he likes it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Yes indeed Missus, I will take the bull by the horns. My manifesto will be full of bull and I will take it all the way to victory horns along the Mersey.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW1NS14qywdoMFr0PS07M6DcLmi6pfz9UPYSF9fE3y6XsV4HQSpyxwIZdjRBPsOiagPC6G3MP0qJiNr4WJu8q7BMImEKxtb63OQMUVYZAKvu85z8Izz9Zh_WH_NZZiaI1C4MdMd0hwFBQ/s1600/bullshit1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW1NS14qywdoMFr0PS07M6DcLmi6pfz9UPYSF9fE3y6XsV4HQSpyxwIZdjRBPsOiagPC6G3MP0qJiNr4WJu8q7BMImEKxtb63OQMUVYZAKvu85z8Izz9Zh_WH_NZZiaI1C4MdMd0hwFBQ/s200/bullshit1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Now, if you can remember that far back, I started this entry with a whimsical reference to hairdressers. No doubt, by now you will have realised that any metion of my campaign has been the victim of a conspiratorial media blackout. This was further evidenced today by the announcement that a new name has been thrown out of the arena. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: large;">Yes, the shock news yesterday that Liverpool’s very own version of Vital Bassoon, local hairdressing mogul, Herbert Hoot, has decided to throw his ring in. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I’ll be honest, ladies and gentlemen, this is the one person I always feared as a serious rival. You see I’d vote for Herbert! I mean Mrs C and Mrs Hewitt are already wearing T-shirts saying:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>If you don’t want </strong></span><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>a blert </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong> vote for Her-bert </strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Which is a rubbish slogan, I know. But you see people like Herbert. He’s a character. I like him. Well I did, until he did this to me. And I'm sorry to say he’s already started fighting dirty and using underhand tactics, like saying he will do it for no pay! Filthy trick. He knows full well I want at least £300k for the job. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjagJ3UQIhGEcqAZf9emLhrhp4qa-aTi4FCCHtCe3Ak8AmSglfXVmKtrhJt1BLHn_L37Ds5n1PuyXW_EyppAz50LJFFx3DlLkim6K4ipWiEnFl3Y6_i4EK_7Qwuadamr8DuNjqqwfEGDuk/s1600/pp.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjagJ3UQIhGEcqAZf9emLhrhp4qa-aTi4FCCHtCe3Ak8AmSglfXVmKtrhJt1BLHn_L37Ds5n1PuyXW_EyppAz50LJFFx3DlLkim6K4ipWiEnFl3Y6_i4EK_7Qwuadamr8DuNjqqwfEGDuk/s320/pp.bmp" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: small;">Bling it on says a defiant Herbert</span></strong></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div style="border: currentColor;"><span style="font-size: large;">Well two can play at that game mate. I love this city and nobody will stand between me and all that cash. He’s already loaded, it’s alright for him. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Well I have already initiated plan A of the fightback. I have left a transit van parked in wet cement right outside his Bling salon, he won’t shift that in a hurry. And do you know what it says on the side of the van? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>“Nitty Nora The Nit Nurse Emergency Rapid Response Unit” </strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">If he wants to play dirty he won’t know what’s hit him. </span><span style="font-size: large;">I mean blimey, it was probably me who put the idea in his head, from the blogs ages ago. I knew Leggarty, I say Leggarty was getting nowhere and I said then Herbert should stand and I would support him. What an idiot I was! </span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: large;"> You see that’s before I knew how bad things were going to get and what was at stake. £300k and a percentage of the £130 million. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I feel betrayed by him. After all I have done for him over the years. If it wasn’t for me, he would never have thought of opening the brilliant Champu Bar in Town. That was all my idea. I even ran a special feature on the opening night.</span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://profchucklebuttychronic.blogspot.com/2009/04/by-jove-missus-here-i-am-back-from.html">http://profchucklebuttychronic.blogspot.com/2009/04/by-jove-missus-here-i-am-back-from.html</a><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The fact that it went bust because he wouldn’t leave free crisps on the bar in case anybody stood by it and then wouldn’t let anyone pee on the Italian marble urinal, that was nothing to do with me, it was his own fault. He wouldn't take the plastic covers off the couch. I tell you what, the mild was rubbish too. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I started him off. You know it was me who gave him the idea to open his first salon. I’d just nicked a brush and comb set from Woolworths and was getting chased down Church Street by the store detective. I said here you are young man cop hold of this, so when they caught me…no evidence. It was Herbert. Then I saw him a few years later using the very same brush on a Yorkshire Terrier in a Dog Grooming shop window on great Homer Street. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: large;">I said, no mate you won't make your fortune clipping poodles, look at Squeezy Wheezie, he's loaded. There's no money in dog grooming, the real money is in women’s hairdressing, if you can stand listening to them yapping. Next thing you know he has a string of salons and is driving round in a pink Reliant Robin.</span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVGacrL-WsyHbWN5KC4K2girYbD4P7qUkeb2aGLuqZ8DbMkDEm11WkHGHziUBrP4eljK65gEN9WrHidB7LQlnTmTv8F-2Y9xOrFICE1E8sk407Stw9H_rptmdkO9dHXDV_fBx3TB9nVOg/s1600/imagesCAEL2D0R.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVGacrL-WsyHbWN5KC4K2girYbD4P7qUkeb2aGLuqZ8DbMkDEm11WkHGHziUBrP4eljK65gEN9WrHidB7LQlnTmTv8F-2Y9xOrFICE1E8sk407Stw9H_rptmdkO9dHXDV_fBx3TB9nVOg/s1600/imagesCAEL2D0R.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><strong>Herbert, what have you done? <br />
That's not how Justin Beiber has his hair cut! <br />
"Well he friggin' would if he came in here!"</strong></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;">He was very grateful to me and always said that if there was anything he could do for me, I should just ask. I remember once when I was in the salon getting a trim, he told me that I was going a bit thin on top and offered to massage my follicles for me. I thought about it for a minute and said, oh all right go on then, so long as you don't tell anyone. So I got myself ready and when he turned round he screamed and threw me out! </span><br />
<div style="border: currentColor;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: large;">All a misunderstanding and we eventually made up and so I’ve always remained a supporter of Herbert’s businesses. In fact d</span><span style="font-size: large;">o you know Missus, he asked me to be his first volunteer when he branched out into full body waxing. Back, sack and clack. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">In fact that’s where I learned how to yodel! </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">And it was me who said he should modernise, don’t just offer the customers tea or coffee, I said. These days they expect Cupsofchino, Latte, Mocha. Offer them different blends, Columbian, Italian, Costa Brava, Myrthr Tydfil. Although that nearly went wrong and I can tell you this now, but if it wasn’t for my intervention he would have been shut down and lost his waxing licence. Mrs Hewitt was going to sue him for every Kirby grip he had. You see she only went in to have her ankles waxed but while she was waiting for her Colombian Latte with choco sprinkle, she told the girl she’d changed her mind and wanted a Brazilian instead. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Well I heard the screams from Renshaw Street. When I got there, there were six of them trying to hold her down while they pulled the strip off. She’d let it go a bit down there they said, and now they couldn’t shift it. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg71gB6Dn9O_UZb1Dp1bqAN05FBXl66o5XCzU0v6V9FrWZtxRsvj50WVC3mFUJND-LgssdAG9pg1NF05yXhbVP-rODfc95EndeShPN_HP-ZASQvmHfM9lai9pZcgeHDkXrslL03HoA2o2g/s1600/imagesCA0MJ51P.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg71gB6Dn9O_UZb1Dp1bqAN05FBXl66o5XCzU0v6V9FrWZtxRsvj50WVC3mFUJND-LgssdAG9pg1NF05yXhbVP-rODfc95EndeShPN_HP-ZASQvmHfM9lai9pZcgeHDkXrslL03HoA2o2g/s200/imagesCA0MJ51P.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: large;">In the end they attached the edge of the wax strip to a tow rope and the other end to the bumper of Herbert’s new Rolls Royce. Well it didn't work. He revved up the engine too much and they just dragged her off the table, out through the door and halfway up South John Street. I told him to keep it in 1st gear. </span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: large;">Eventually, the only way we could get it off her was to use a Black and Decker Steam Stripper from Rapid, which he still hasn’t paid me for. It was very lucky for him that our local GP Dr Strukov, was doing his mobile botox and had his van in the Aldi carpark when we were going home with her, so we pulled in and Strukov gave us a few knock out drops to slip in her cocoa. Put her to sleep for a week and when she came round, I managed to convince her it was all a dream. They cost me forty quid as well, although he did throw in a DVD of Debbie Does Casualty. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So all in all, I don’t know how Herbert has the nerve to stand against me, not after everything I have done for him. But I think he could just win it so I'd best keep him sweet and hope he gives me a cut. </span></div><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxnwHH6SLuoXgh8vPx_XvlJHEkhVPrMgRnN3HFwNkV88tCr0jf-xut_bmkd4IV2nh5aj7SQ28NC911ShMLEKI-xdy_RJ3cYzyqLv0Aj1V-vL2YeSPV-6u0sFS4sXiUyRkoaXn4JdQu2lU/s1600/imagesCAXZGLR7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxnwHH6SLuoXgh8vPx_XvlJHEkhVPrMgRnN3HFwNkV88tCr0jf-xut_bmkd4IV2nh5aj7SQ28NC911ShMLEKI-xdy_RJ3cYzyqLv0Aj1V-vL2YeSPV-6u0sFS4sXiUyRkoaXn4JdQu2lU/s1600/imagesCAXZGLR7.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: large;">But as if Herbert trying to ruin my chances is not bad enough, there are other turncoats out there. Those who are refusing to mention my campaign. People in the local media who have been writing about the mayor issue and not made a single mention of my name going forward. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It proves once again that it’s the newspapers that elect governments not the people. Look at Bartlett’s blog in the Daily Weekly Gone by Christmas Post. Over the years, my contributions to his Blog site Dole Street Blues, now re-branded Dull Associates, are the main reason people have stayed loyal. He owes me! I have kept that lot going while Trickery Mirror have been chucking them all out on their arses and shifting it all to Oldham. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Not one mention in the last three articles apart from me writing in comments. I have even declared on his pages that I am standing and he’s made no mention of it. It’s a conspiracy. It’s the Illuminous Paperhatzi or the Bobthebuilderberg Group. They are all over the internet. The say it’s them who control the voting on X factor. I bet that Simon Trowel is Freemason. That’s how deep it runs. </span><br />
<br />
<div style="border: currentColor;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0_kEedhSRr-KECIUbgcX0lH0UPKN1frPevddkrmKEOJsHlpR-_GWw6ND_uWEEUxJEXPc-B97MHDLtB8R7qtH4Sc98H53wNV8DmqEUQYob_gN5q2PtTTKh-FPntecHpTGT57Ex26y5nZw/s1600/imagesCAW69PX4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="cssfloat: left; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="356" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0_kEedhSRr-KECIUbgcX0lH0UPKN1frPevddkrmKEOJsHlpR-_GWw6ND_uWEEUxJEXPc-B97MHDLtB8R7qtH4Sc98H53wNV8DmqEUQYob_gN5q2PtTTKh-FPntecHpTGT57Ex26y5nZw/s400/imagesCAW69PX4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But I think the biggest disappointment for me is that my old friend and respected local journalist and broadcaster, Harry Nield, the man I lead to safety and on stage with the stripper in the Gladray club during the Toxteth riots, has also deserted me. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">No mention of my campaign in his articles about the Elected mayor. How quickly they forget. You know, I don’t like to mention this but when Harry was going through his lean years, and walking through town with a sieve on his head and holding up an electric whisk looking for mobile phone mast radiation (alright it was me who sold them to him) I stayed loyal and pointed him towards more popular stories. </span></div><div style="border: currentColor;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: large;">Then he started writing about dogs fouling the city pavements, and I sent him numerous scoops. I expected a little more support from him. </span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: large;">Well Harry there’s still time if you want to back the winner and possibly a job for you on my team. I will always need a good press officer. And somebody has to iron me shirts. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">That reminds me, where is me shirt? I can’t stand for mayor without me shirt! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Where’s me shirt!!!???</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD6rmLHyDMDXU6XaecS3s-1tBcFPZcAyUlGyaeGKeplgDo3b03lYr1ESsdzttSD7hFW1si5gae6h1PhxZQMfazEc4T_JjX2rVmidYUuadm-QQ2_RqhUHsH7i6rb1EDyEUjoSo5wTBwvzM/s1600/shirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD6rmLHyDMDXU6XaecS3s-1tBcFPZcAyUlGyaeGKeplgDo3b03lYr1ESsdzttSD7hFW1si5gae6h1PhxZQMfazEc4T_JjX2rVmidYUuadm-QQ2_RqhUHsH7i6rb1EDyEUjoSo5wTBwvzM/s400/shirt.jpg" width="328" /></a></div><br />
<strong><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Bye </span></strong>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-37372507135002051942011-09-28T13:53:00.000+01:002011-09-28T13:53:26.285+01:00Liverpool, maligned by Tory Blogger Iain Dale, has the world press banging at my door for a reaction.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcXG61GaYMLQtEUYa6xik-rTCx9bzKLweNmWP18PhTEsvB9uzxP0VDrogSYBe0up5wigYFeUw2Kn3k9rBbiCwHyXsd_5pfjOIC0Xal7XuPG_8FelJmWM6J2gUkoXQw_BlgZBBrt0BH1hI/s1600/psycho-movie-bates-5122.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" kca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcXG61GaYMLQtEUYa6xik-rTCx9bzKLweNmWP18PhTEsvB9uzxP0VDrogSYBe0up5wigYFeUw2Kn3k9rBbiCwHyXsd_5pfjOIC0Xal7XuPG_8FelJmWM6J2gUkoXQw_BlgZBBrt0BH1hI/s400/psycho-movie-bates-5122.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Top Class Hotels. A shower in every room </td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"><strong>Liverpool is the land of my forfathers, well me mother said it was dark in the air raid shelter, so it could have been any one of them. But that means when you attack the city of Liverpool...well I'm not going to stand for it sitting down.</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">During Labour Conference week, that Iain Dale, who compiles the Complete B*llocks list of the top Political B*llocks in the UK has been up here writing a conference diary. <br />
<br />
Well that's what he's supposed to be doing, instead he decided to have a crack at Liverpool.<br />
<br />
He does nothing but moan about the city and our most famous hotel. Naturally, the world's media wanted an instant reaction from me. But I agreed only to talk to that bastion of truth, free speech and rissoles with jus, Liverpool Confidential.<br />
<br />
You can read the full article here.</span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/Not-Confidential/Just-sling-yer-ook-will-yer"><span style="font-size: large;">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/Not-Confidential/Just-sling-yer-ook-will-yer</span></a><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">I tell you this Mr Dale, you ask anyne from Liverpool about the city, and they'll tell you it's Shangri - La!</span></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJWJZRyrOYJTMA7iUvnmWYqe_UIKT73YYCGn0y7-jaA9MUv1DLmJmuyfHmWI4_mwb2mr7YxlrkNqzKgHFVpmbkKL_HntlfIX2EElJAo4R8Xgrw-1sIAIG3tYHM3kBaHhF78R0BGg9UpB4/s1600/imagesCAI5R2KG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" kca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJWJZRyrOYJTMA7iUvnmWYqe_UIKT73YYCGn0y7-jaA9MUv1DLmJmuyfHmWI4_mwb2mr7YxlrkNqzKgHFVpmbkKL_HntlfIX2EElJAo4R8Xgrw-1sIAIG3tYHM3kBaHhF78R0BGg9UpB4/s400/imagesCAI5R2KG.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Gazza Strip</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">Tatty Bye Everybody, Tatty Bye!</span></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-5254623728719918862011-04-18T21:57:00.006+01:002011-04-19T09:46:24.681+01:00Wally Bradlow: Shock resignation and then suspension of city's beloved son. Clegg cuts lifeline before he strangles himself with it as charges of alleged electoral fraud make headlines. Everyone is to blame. Local Poet Laureate Reggie McCough, writes an odourous ode to mark the sad events.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisyCeDu9SaGlDhhxh7XBBVCIYoq_LFBdYZw18pwU3DYm8w2CrUmVMWB5r9bP5rsT_3474ncaFqmPtExDTHxXfsSwcFJcEESFrGgs1-UA2SaiMcx-nYYZphuHsjfpLidaC55j2O1VWgYXE/s1600/wheres_wally.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisyCeDu9SaGlDhhxh7XBBVCIYoq_LFBdYZw18pwU3DYm8w2CrUmVMWB5r9bP5rsT_3474ncaFqmPtExDTHxXfsSwcFJcEESFrGgs1-UA2SaiMcx-nYYZphuHsjfpLidaC55j2O1VWgYXE/s400/wheres_wally.jpg" width="315" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>It's a sad end for Wally Bradlow the former leader of Grotty Cash Council and leader of the Liverpool Lib Dem group. </strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>After resigning in a blaze of glory, of the type to which we have become sadly accustomed, he is then suspended by the party pending investigations into alleged electoral fraud.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Local Poet Laureate Reggie McCough, has marked this sad day with a special ode.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-large;"><strong><u>Bye Bye Mr Bradley (Thanks for all the fish)</u></strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #990000;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><u><span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">By Reggie McCough</span></u></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>A</strong>nd so farewell to Warren Bradley</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Of common sense, the poor lad had nay,</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Stumbling like a donkey, lame</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">with everyone but him to blame</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">There were no ears to hear you beg</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">from the day you passed the blame to Clegg</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">For you started your doomed expedition</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">before he joined the coalition</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">You wanted folk to vote Lib Dem</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">On a slogan that you’re not like them</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">A desperate plea in your final hour</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">While your party keeps the Tories in power</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The local government Jewel in the Crown</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Was left for scrap when you went down</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now you see the harsh reality</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Of Liberal Democrat loyalty</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Where the price to pay, as we will see</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">To secure Clegg’s place in history</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Is your beloved party locally</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Flushed down the electoral lavatory</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Will some people still be fooled</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">And vote for the likes of Kemp and Gould?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Or your former mentor, now Lord Storey</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">For underneath they all are Tory</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">For them it’s all now very neat</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">For they never would have won a seat</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Unless they joined the Lib Dem band</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now with fellow Tories they are hand in hand</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Lib Dem colours shining through</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Revealing the dark sides shades of blue</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But you piped up to save your skin</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">And now you’ve done your own self in</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">For your party planned assassination</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">before your tawdry resignation</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">As we listen to your familiar cry</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">“the charges made, I will deny”</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">You have now fallen on your sword</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Faced with alleged election fraud</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">And without grace you still cast blame</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">While we wait to see who signed their name</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">You were often labelled more daft than bad</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Storey’s protégé, his lad gone mad</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But now he doesn’t want to know</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">And you now reap what you did sew</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is a fire you can’t put out</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The hose is dry, and you have no clout</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">You’ve seen that your party now is rotten</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">And your work in the city will be forgotten</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">You claim you're being made scapegoat</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">For Clegg who will cost you every vote</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So no honours list for you dear friend</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">For you began the losing trend</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But for all the ridicule that you brought</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Perhaps a lesson you’ll be taught</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">You claimed it was your mistaken passion</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">When people complained of your bullying fashion</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">As the decent folk that you drove away</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Could have been the friends you need today</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But in spite of all this sleaze and strife</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Remember that there’s more to life</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So go and break the fire bell</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Let Clegg and his friends all burn in hell</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">They all sold out and they told us lies</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Farewell Mr Bradley, now dry your eyes. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGTrGObuM6eh_wXydFjbxho4br61IWybr_n6BmCAQk7skQBLopCy6xqmBXZ35MMxL5SnCB5RxXkRQh3JZUAoRFifw14AxlerHwol7D-SZhvBWOfpzsqOX8oibXr0fZUNca5oCHrWFBb60/s1600/firemansam.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="294" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGTrGObuM6eh_wXydFjbxho4br61IWybr_n6BmCAQk7skQBLopCy6xqmBXZ35MMxL5SnCB5RxXkRQh3JZUAoRFifw14AxlerHwol7D-SZhvBWOfpzsqOX8oibXr0fZUNca5oCHrWFBb60/s400/firemansam.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One more squirt</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;">Well, I am sorry it has ended like this. I think a lot of the time he thought he meant well and maybe sometimes he did. Time to reflect.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">It wasn't all his fault by a long chalk and those who probably steered him and then plotted against him are still sitting pretty with their friends in the Tories, cutting your services and trying to destroy your communities. In the end, he tried...whether it was to save his own neck locally or not, we can never know for certain. But we can be certain that his party has hung him out to dry. That shows who they count as friends. Cameron and The Conservatives over their own members and supporters.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">A Very Tatty Bye Everybody, Tatty Bye</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">be nice to eachother.....and don't vote Lib Dem</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br />
<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>The full story in the local press</strong></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/liverpool-news/regional-news/2011/04/19/warren-bradley-suspended-by-liberal-democrats-as-police-are-poised-to-launch-election-fraud-claim-investigation-92534-28542372/">http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/liverpool-news/regional-news/2011/04/19/warren-bradley-suspended-by-liberal-democrats-as-police-are-poised-to-launch-election-fraud-claim-investigation-92534-28542372/</a></div><br />
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<div align="center"></div>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-50033847835341546672011-04-11T22:39:00.031+01:002011-04-12T18:03:18.933+01:00EXCLUSIVE: LEAKED FIRST DRAFT OF THAT WALLY BRADLOW LETTER. Bradley gives Nick Clogg a piece of his tiny mind and proposes party name change to Liberal Doomed-Rats<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ9iIKycXf6SEjEt0WzewkB9kCzSDSzsAbukroBlL_jXmzwJxJZRwCv6isqtJqLB6ORmvq9z59f3-kk7Ti_P6gXtJ_XJ8Q6qmTCkrtgZ3TFU6XZ1mWjkIT8zsdEIPW_koX6_N78Y37_d4/s1600/Leeks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="388" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ9iIKycXf6SEjEt0WzewkB9kCzSDSzsAbukroBlL_jXmzwJxJZRwCv6isqtJqLB6ORmvq9z59f3-kk7Ti_P6gXtJ_XJ8Q6qmTCkrtgZ3TFU6XZ1mWjkIT8zsdEIPW_koX6_N78Y37_d4/s640/Leeks.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One Big Leak</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>By Jove Missus what a beautiful day, what a beautiful day for standing in a puddle at the greengrocers and saying how's that for an embarrasing leek?</strong> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, missus the big leak story. All here in my personal chronic calls. But, not the doctored one they put out in the press, by Jove no! I have the original transcript of Wally Bradlows suicide note to Deputy Primeminister Nick Nocky Nick Clegg.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As usual, his mam had to tidy it up for him, otherwise it comes across as a lunatic rant from a desperate man. It still does, but the original draft was much tougher, and for that I say hats off to Wally Bradlow.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And so ladies and gentlemen in the interests of hysterical accuracy, I reprint the leak before the leak..or as Ned Sharon used to say to Jack Frost and the Three Ronnies: </span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>THAT WAS THE LEAK THAT WAS.</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now first my dear readers....both of you, pay attention. This is the transcript that they hoodwinked the BBC with and that was reprinted in Young Dave Barchesters Chronicles: Dole Street Blues. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The actual link is here: </span><a href="http://blogs.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/dalestreetblues/2011/04/in-full-warren-bradleys-email.html"><span style="font-size: large;">http://blogs.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/dalestreetblues/2011/04/in-full-warren-bradleys-email.html</span></a><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This is it, what they want you to read. Even then, they get his name wrong! Then below that, is what I believe to be the original draft.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNOHlDKLXIPiL_b9aIIjEKPdb1Un03OgE69UYNYnodxLwRpxgLXRarL37-yrg6VUIBy564u72B9QwHQgUfCxKhEUSO4_dDmu1mQMgOudcQzKtYk2AsJD5oOHBJ-3-Rl9v4cntJ78BSmfE/s1600/bradlow+and+Lord+Storey.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNOHlDKLXIPiL_b9aIIjEKPdb1Un03OgE69UYNYnodxLwRpxgLXRarL37-yrg6VUIBy564u72B9QwHQgUfCxKhEUSO4_dDmu1mQMgOudcQzKtYk2AsJD5oOHBJ-3-Rl9v4cntJ78BSmfE/s400/bradlow+and+Lord+Storey.bmp" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: purple;"></span><br />
<blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"><blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From: Bridley, Warren</span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Subject: LABOUR'S SURGE IN THE NORTH</span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">IN CONFIDENCE - PRIVATE</span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dear Nick and the Parliamentarians,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have to date kept my frustrations and criticisms based on policy rather than just having a go because I don't want to be in bed with the Tories; unfortunately the boil is about to come to a head and burst (probably on election night) when we lose some very well respected and experienced colleagues from Liverpool City Council. The Labour and Trade Union movement are saturating the streets of Liverpool, even in our heartlands.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Liberalism started in Liverpool (Church Ward) during the late 60's with Sir Trevor Jones and Cyril Carr being the driving force; a ward we have held for many years through thick and thin, sadly this year, because of your actions in Coalition Government, this may not be the case. Never before in 35+ years have I seen the streets of Wavertree snooing with Labour activists, never before have I seen Labour posters in a local election. This is only down to the policies that our Parliamentarians are pursuing in Coalition Government. The position is untenable, Mike Storey having given many decades to the party is extremely vulnerable, and could well fall because of the Parliamentary party.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many other long serving Councillors could be defeated not because of their record, but because of your record and the perception of what we as Liberal Democrats now are.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I only hope on the 6th May, you will meet with Leaders/Groups/ordinary members and seek their views following a set of results, which if mirrored by our canvass returns will place us back 40 years.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I and many of my colleagues in Liverpool and the North are tired of defending the indefensible, as a party we have to reconsider what and who we are before we disappear into the annuls of history as a political party who promised so much hope, yet failed because they wanted control and power.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is not a moan because I want to be someone, I deeply care about the party I have campaigned for since its inception, as I did for the Liberals before when I was a little boy, as did both my parents and virtually all my family; Liverpool and the North needs and deserves an alternative to Labour, but at present, after knocking on many doors, all I feel is dejection and upset that the Lib Dems, the party the people trusted implicitly have become like the others and deserted their followers.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hope you take this in the spirit it is meant, liberal principles have to shine through, we have to be independent and we have to sever ties from the coalition; if we fail to do this, we have only our Parliamentarians to blame.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yours sincerely</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cllr. Worried Bradley</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Leader of the Liberal Democrats</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Liverpool City Council</span><br />
<br />
</div></blockquote></div></blockquote></div></blockquote><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>But now ladies and gentlemen,</strong> sent to me by one of my agents in the field, and up to their knees in it, is the original draft version, before his mam re-wrote it and made him stand in the corner. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think you will agree, that Wally should be applauded for his strong stance and courageous outspoken views. This is the version they didn't want you to see!</span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><strong>From: Wally Bradlow, </strong></span></div><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><strong></strong></span></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
<strong><span style="color: black;"></span></strong></span></div><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><strong>Subject: LABOUR'S SURGE UP MY END</strong></span></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span></span></div><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">IN CONTINANCE - PRIVATES</span></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span></span></div><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Dear Dick and the Parlymentrians, </span></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span></span></div><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">I have to date, what date is it by the way? I mean you only have to look at where we were 10 years ago…where were we? </span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">I have kept my flustrations and crittisisms based on policy rather than just having a go because I don't want to be in bed with the Tories; not since I met this bird on Facebook, and just for the record, somebody else stuck that photo in her album, and that wasn’t me either and you can quote me on that unanimously, in fact never mind unanimous, you can use my real name. </span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Unfortunately at the moment my head looks like a boil about to burst </span></div></blockquote></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZpia1ZbgMfmWauGTSqJNSiYp1OkP5e4ygnaz9wsDegz6AESL0Yp2FFC57AGcXhUVmN_5wvqEpvVf9A2-TU5B8G2QQLhBjWFNHIe7hKJ6TJ7DbM7dxixDCDGQQGWkVv_ufGAxr-_nKuFU/s1600/boil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="173" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZpia1ZbgMfmWauGTSqJNSiYp1OkP5e4ygnaz9wsDegz6AESL0Yp2FFC57AGcXhUVmN_5wvqEpvVf9A2-TU5B8G2QQLhBjWFNHIe7hKJ6TJ7DbM7dxixDCDGQQGWkVv_ufGAxr-_nKuFU/s200/boil.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"></span> <br />
<blockquote><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">(probably on election night) when we lose some very well respected and experienced colleagues from Liverpool City Council. No names spring to mind but ….obviously not Eldridge, Twiggler, Kamp, Turnip or Fieldung.....</span></blockquote></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVUoKa4MHX3OXzJex-9lVjLXoLipknGR-kjvPobMzKO1IyxXX2T4zicmjAzBplGt3z1DOvgbKxpB8-Gvd7ripDwjSL8hINmKeaS7NwEkpukHNHEgOnvYqPW0G11giNjoQVSKHlhj6xxFQ/s1600/hurst2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVUoKa4MHX3OXzJex-9lVjLXoLipknGR-kjvPobMzKO1IyxXX2T4zicmjAzBplGt3z1DOvgbKxpB8-Gvd7ripDwjSL8hINmKeaS7NwEkpukHNHEgOnvYqPW0G11giNjoQVSKHlhj6xxFQ/s200/hurst2.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"></span></span></span></span></div><blockquote><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">And deffo not my mate Hursty…he was an innocent man, and I know cos it was…er I mean….just cos he got caught red handed found guilty and lost his appeal, doesn’t mean he is innocent until proven guilty and I stand on that basic principal of habeus caught-us and Magnum Carton.</span></span></span></span></blockquote><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3MjUaQilIEqqiWb9ezXZzD_K7UYlrV5WTQ36DFP405qvMtkrzVT8_1zvZSS8q1ER7XGKEsrY63wthJHiS-gLrvd4zimVdY4i-wFheh_YnP8hU-oZDPsplhOAhyvec93d8w88uRYm6mVo/s1600/Magnum.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="153" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3MjUaQilIEqqiWb9ezXZzD_K7UYlrV5WTQ36DFP405qvMtkrzVT8_1zvZSS8q1ER7XGKEsrY63wthJHiS-gLrvd4zimVdY4i-wFheh_YnP8hU-oZDPsplhOAhyvec93d8w88uRYm6mVo/s200/Magnum.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div align="justify" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdCkQsV1iNDjPbisb1siQXmOlWlLZClf5gsVCCCMSKSbpXptsss3Y9muWwTF0nFNoSu34qNE3z8CoYbJOAFbhNESqYnKAxnZki8SX40IFTWDlkzHkVBv2uZlgh6C_BXvNCDo7ycaIU6D4/s1600/clown-blueys-crazy-fire-engine-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br />
<blockquote><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Labour and Trade Union movement are saturating the streets of Liverpool, even in the warzones…I mean heartlands.</span></span><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Liberalism started in Liverpool (Church Ward) during the late 1860's with Sir Trevor Jones driving door to door in Cyril’s Car. I still use it when I am out campaigning.</span></div></blockquote></div><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<blockquote><div align="justify"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTTD1QPxxBtwAAAL1cv2tRmJ63_XjYcPvbvuj_0dBA95iKqnQcCyaUQ1kitXCioqOM6tBmlWWoWHRnCkDjdR4p8UVGOloUR_RcIhMvUJvtbNfToTFxBDrxpesp5EWQkYj3msgIX4IEt_w/s1600/clown-blueys-crazy-fire-engine-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTTD1QPxxBtwAAAL1cv2tRmJ63_XjYcPvbvuj_0dBA95iKqnQcCyaUQ1kitXCioqOM6tBmlWWoWHRnCkDjdR4p8UVGOloUR_RcIhMvUJvtbNfToTFxBDrxpesp5EWQkYj3msgIX4IEt_w/s320/clown-blueys-crazy-fire-engine-3.jpg" width="249" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">It's a ward we have held for many years through thick and thin. Just ask Councillor Klemp about thick and thin: he says he’s thin and I’m….. though sadly this year, because of your actions in Coalition and many other towns, this may not be the case. </span></div></div><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Never before in 350+ years have I seen the streets of Wavertree snooing…err snookering...snoodling …what’s the friggin’ word I am looking for? </span><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Basically, there’s loads of Labour activists everywhere, and never before have I seen Labour posters in a local election that I haven’t drawn specs and a tash on before running away….not that it was me, it was Stev…..er.. we would never do that..... </span></div><div align="justify"><br />
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: large;">Enough of this yah boo politics, that's my mantravani. </span><span style="font-size: large;">That's just the kind of behaviour what has driven this city into the ground that we sold dirt cheap to a load of speculators. </span></span><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Remember it was under this Liberal Democrat administration that we transfused the city skyscrape, bringing many to tears. And joy to Sir Top-up Jones. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">The people of Liverpool, remember our hard work and the way we managed the city, which is why we got kicked out last May. </span><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">What do you think's gonna happen this May??? Eh? Eh?...........er...........Eh?</span></div></blockquote></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxPGKGsayufjbMGh5QPHs5xyLzLoOoebkr-dk4BcoO11Ju4cjW233bDboV75wlD03PxXMJuQDZ6dHAFA5oDzZl53VsALtTviXZNZ75kCFXtmt81W1ydOqBHs_nSq4DsxsEEamkTCFjFeY/s1600/imagesCAH1ALWM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxPGKGsayufjbMGh5QPHs5xyLzLoOoebkr-dk4BcoO11Ju4cjW233bDboV75wlD03PxXMJuQDZ6dHAFA5oDzZl53VsALtTviXZNZ75kCFXtmt81W1ydOqBHs_nSq4DsxsEEamkTCFjFeY/s320/imagesCAH1ALWM.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<blockquote><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">This situation we now face, is one of being flushed down the pan, and this is only down to the policies that our Parlymentrians are pursuing in Coalition Government. </span></div><div align="justify" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Thanks to you Dave, and you all jumping into bed with Nick Cameron and Thatcher's Liberals, t</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">he position is untenable, and even the most unpalatable Mike Storey, having given many decades to the party is extremely vulnerable, and could well fall because of all the Peroni he’s been drinking at my house. Except that we never met at my house and didn’t talk about getting rid of people, or sending texts that we haven’t sent. That's if we ever met in the first place…I've never even heard of him. </span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;">Besides, Mike is a Duchess now, the nobbled Baron Of Chilblains. So he can get the Knights of Cammelairds on to you if you try and dredge all that up again. </span><span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: black;">Anyway the standards board said I was just an idiot and ignorance of the law is nine tenths, so you can’t touch me for that one.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div></div></blockquote></div><div align="justify" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWv7W30CmZbLdVqJ78W5v0v4vddBKpY5qOvRdVkDMXdOjyl-Ze6LLkZi7LK1ftgCcDPXQ8VNjqb2p4QB5ovVPCPyrhPzC7zqKrXhcDhU99ueWzJge3oKh-fjcoLt7uqYtKJ5ZFDbfDS6s/s1600/Lord+Storey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWv7W30CmZbLdVqJ78W5v0v4vddBKpY5qOvRdVkDMXdOjyl-Ze6LLkZi7LK1ftgCcDPXQ8VNjqb2p4QB5ovVPCPyrhPzC7zqKrXhcDhU99ueWzJge3oKh-fjcoLt7uqYtKJ5ZFDbfDS6s/s400/Lord+Storey.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lord Mike Strawhair sees dark days ahead for Liverpool Lib Dems</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"></span><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span></span><br />
<blockquote><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">I only hope on the 6th May the day after the elections, (note to self take that friggin’ huge poster down from Garmoyle Road saying the election is on the 6th or everyone will go out to vote a day late…..no wait.... since they won’t be voting for us anyway, leave it up so they won’t vote for Labour either) See that’s the kind of strategums mind set you have to have at the butt and thrust of local politics!</span></blockquote><blockquote><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Many other self serving Councillors could be defeated, not because of their record, but because of your record and the perception of what we as Liberal Democrats now are. Why did you have to let them find out? Nickhead!</span></div></blockquote><blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCNpXr99jqng_dnpbhn26VwmUaBXkLmflEUP-gNcoYoKGMCA_JdiABmt8Rp2_krarqWjvVvcn0o8SGwzCJvWYmaw1PoVdG5NPVcgV6z8FqZnHwT1XDoM3GoAbSV3KvqVtXQfskYwKzs8s/s1600/imagesCAYAHAWK.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCNpXr99jqng_dnpbhn26VwmUaBXkLmflEUP-gNcoYoKGMCA_JdiABmt8Rp2_krarqWjvVvcn0o8SGwzCJvWYmaw1PoVdG5NPVcgV6z8FqZnHwT1XDoM3GoAbSV3KvqVtXQfskYwKzs8s/s1600/imagesCAYAHAWK.jpg" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Where was I ? Oh yes, Mick, I hope that on May 6th you will meet with Leaders/Groups/ordinary members and seek their views following a set of results, which if mirrored by our canvass returns will place us back 400 years, which is a long time in politics.</span></div></blockquote></div></div><blockquote><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">I and many of my colleagues in Liverpool and the North are tired of defending the indefensible. And now, since you joined the coalition, it’s even worse! As a party we have to reconsider what and who we are before we disappear up the annus of history as a political party. We promised so much hope, yet failed because you wanted control and power. A bit like like we did in Liverpool.</span></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span></span></div><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">This is not a moan because I want to be someone, I gave up hope on that years ago. I deeply care about the party I have campaigned for since its deception, just as I did for the Liberals before, when I was a little boy, with a cheap toy fire engine and dropping clangers every few yards. </span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Both my parents, the dog Trevor, the budgie and virtually all my family cared deeply about the Liberal value. </span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Boy George knew my father, as the song goes, and in our case it’s true and this helped us to secure Capital of Culture Club 2008, which was perhaps the greatest feather in my brains behind the scenes.</span></div></blockquote><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK6QK9O55XYwKyGK0BzzOC0dU1Mfb1JKhyBpQSrji72W4DgQSyRnTAMTX3aKf5bsb-er0iM9sh0cUrFFsfHZ4deeuRByIjPwWoFI6lj3dWRuCNcLjk4CsCHKrUpF5XlL483jPVtTdvI7E/s1600/imagesCADM92NS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="160" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK6QK9O55XYwKyGK0BzzOC0dU1Mfb1JKhyBpQSrji72W4DgQSyRnTAMTX3aKf5bsb-er0iM9sh0cUrFFsfHZ4deeuRByIjPwWoFI6lj3dWRuCNcLjk4CsCHKrUpF5XlL483jPVtTdvI7E/s320/imagesCADM92NS.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(Note to my agent: Don't use a photo with that bastard Jasper Harbottle)</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<blockquote><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Liverpool and the North needs and deserves an alternative, but at present, after knocking on many doors, including my own, (but she won’t let me back in) and not putting any fake leaflets through the letterbox, as that was never proved, except in court, all I feel is dejection and upset that the Lib Dems, the party the people trusted implicitly have become like the others and deserted their followers. Obviously not as fast as the followers are deserting us. </span></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
<span style="color: black;"></span></span></div><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">I hope you take this in the spirit it is meant, you twat! Liberal principles have to shine through, and this election should polish us off for good. </span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">We may have to join the independents and we have to sever ties from the coalition; if we fail to do this, we have only our Parliamentrians to blame. And I shall be blameless in this as I always am. </span><br />
<span style="color: black;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-size: large;">I would ask that this letter is not leaked in the usual way, unless I have already pressed send to everyone, or it may look like I am desperate to show the people of Liverpool that we are not shits like you. </span><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">But either way, come May 6th, our blood will be on your hands!</span><br />
<blockquote><blockquote><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw1sr2y4pnk1jGcyB-9H_LtrBCCzJF0HuJmNTGwQ-V00gFkoM7T8rVH4-V3PrXjSgvpV6fEBmI9U4I9F_meQ8ZKRLQToiyqYM8l5d0JvlOGGeyKmoiWnLlv1LsSfTGFECC6-9l87en-_g/s1600/Nick-Clegg-supports-Oxfam-climate-change-campaign-784061.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw1sr2y4pnk1jGcyB-9H_LtrBCCzJF0HuJmNTGwQ-V00gFkoM7T8rVH4-V3PrXjSgvpV6fEBmI9U4I9F_meQ8ZKRLQToiyqYM8l5d0JvlOGGeyKmoiWnLlv1LsSfTGFECC6-9l87en-_g/s320/Nick-Clegg-supports-Oxfam-climate-change-campaign-784061.jpg" width="240" /></a></blockquote></blockquote></div></blockquote></div><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<blockquote><div align="justify"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Can I finish by saying that this City has a proud history going back four million years, and is mentioned by King John’s Ambulance in The Doomsday Book. </span></div><div align="justify" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span></div><div align="justify" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Well thanks to you, Clegg, come May 5th, we’ll get another friggin’ mention!</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black;"><br />
</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">Yours sincerely</span></div></blockquote><blockquote><div align="justify" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><strong>Cllr. Wally Bradlow</strong></span></div><div align="justify" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><strong>Leader of the Liberal Doomedrats</strong></span></div><div align="justify" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><strong>Liverpool Grotty Cash Council</strong></span></div></blockquote></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5Qh1s1bP_rIVz_R6h6xKDJ756gfGK0wbaLFsnd6HGI459UuoUdHBpfCybfG6rYHjmplUQY_0awU_RcsKgEQnkNaQ7JhcLeBJf5Vrdu_N-x17E94yY2w22cYyRPBvqSpcj6fkdkM9YViQ/s1600/Lpool+doomsday.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5Qh1s1bP_rIVz_R6h6xKDJ756gfGK0wbaLFsnd6HGI459UuoUdHBpfCybfG6rYHjmplUQY_0awU_RcsKgEQnkNaQ7JhcLeBJf5Vrdu_N-x17E94yY2w22cYyRPBvqSpcj6fkdkM9YViQ/s320/Lpool+doomsday.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ay....lookkk it's L pool Lar!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;">***************************************************</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: black; font-size: large;"><strong>Well ladies and gentlemen,</strong> there has been no official response as yet from Nick Clegg, but many people think that his expression on receiving the email, conveyed exactly what he thought of Wally Bradlows opinions. I couldn't catch his exact words on the news but I think it was something to do with a banker.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXnpgS2JBrMhSQ2wL8VEURlcZde7r25gaKDtm63mp-yovi_smQtgMgF9bKcqjy2i_W4tBwQtlReDIMNJcallEXEENNQPiP9L3G4xNPEJtk93M7IhZbOuFwmqY-5HyClLrcjUqukWmqB4s/s1600/nick-clegg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" r6="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXnpgS2JBrMhSQ2wL8VEURlcZde7r25gaKDtm63mp-yovi_smQtgMgF9bKcqjy2i_W4tBwQtlReDIMNJcallEXEENNQPiP9L3G4xNPEJtk93M7IhZbOuFwmqY-5HyClLrcjUqukWmqB4s/s320/nick-clegg.jpg" width="234" /></a></div><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: x-large;"><strong>Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Bye</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Be nice to each other</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<div align="justify" class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-30627657083775756752011-02-10T22:16:00.032+00:002011-02-21T02:30:09.126+00:00Professor Rednose gets in a spin as city withdraws from High Society. Cuts fall-out threatens his future peerage so the air and the Rednose turns blue !<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzgzWbgfxWM76ka-ebka4DN_OP2laVE95b05grg-L95myLQg7TdFyQJgb7IiY1s8rduF-0Yhgn0h_nrAb6dX90YaDU4OKvIiuFX9Rz5WjV_FbXY9kwCnh6Mg-TnM-rdCKm2_HIEE57BQ8/s1600/Redmond.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="323" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzgzWbgfxWM76ka-ebka4DN_OP2laVE95b05grg-L95myLQg7TdFyQJgb7IiY1s8rduF-0Yhgn0h_nrAb6dX90YaDU4OKvIiuFX9Rz5WjV_FbXY9kwCnh6Mg-TnM-rdCKm2_HIEE57BQ8/s400/Redmond.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Professor Phyllis Redfern</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">By Jove Missus, one for the lads this time, remember when we all used to be glued to the telly, seeing what he was wearing tonight and how high the split went, well re-live those days, he is back again. The gorgeous “give us a twirl” Professor Phyllis Redfern. (Nee Stein) is back in the headlines to promote his great new project: Phyllis Redfern.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Have you heard?</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Many will remember him from the Remuneration Game, with the famous conveyor belt of cash flowing into the gutter or into the bank accounts of hopeless carpetbaggers. This was during his stint as Custard Supremo and Captain of Claptrap 2008, where he came to sudden prominence after doing nothing for five years and then seized the opportunity to cash in on other peoples work at the last minute. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Largely thanks to promotion and spin by the Echo, he became the face of 2008 and amazingly, people still came. He is still as lovely as ever. The beautiful flowing hair still magnificent, if now somewhat grey. The smile is equally the same, like a loose donner kebab.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLK7_6jg3tg4EH7T2wCYjpak5gWBHSCfckabFnfAcSQpVUqUtMGRawSWTfWaxu1bKffiWSHZRXw0aNFw6NKxOh2SWE7V25Qpd43qRdf_e8ugl0x64-dlhPnnQC2Gd78qjaZRy6-q8UyNI/s1600/redmod+smile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLK7_6jg3tg4EH7T2wCYjpak5gWBHSCfckabFnfAcSQpVUqUtMGRawSWTfWaxu1bKffiWSHZRXw0aNFw6NKxOh2SWE7V25Qpd43qRdf_e8ugl0x64-dlhPnnQC2Gd78qjaZRy6-q8UyNI/s400/redmod+smile.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">That winning smile</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">In spite of his claim to be a Labour sympathiser, the bastards didn’t give him the knighthood he was expecting and so Phyllis, always one to seek out new opportunities, has recently been linked to a controversial ménage et twats with Prime minister David Camouflage and his coagulation deputy, Nasty Nick Clot, from the sudden reality show, “Big Liar” </span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha5O0e5D8ik4Ken8PWeXMZjk0kn62BDiuJ9yInufV7tvZ4DZEtik58X6ZqFpyahJfRVryRjrhT2DF2q8MA8izIGwKxXDpJOvwahpsqWnSfqWFglyi617adnja3ZVsQZbaMh6TJ8K_lTz4/s1600/_48409730_009829347-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha5O0e5D8ik4Ken8PWeXMZjk0kn62BDiuJ9yInufV7tvZ4DZEtik58X6ZqFpyahJfRVryRjrhT2DF2q8MA8izIGwKxXDpJOvwahpsqWnSfqWFglyi617adnja3ZVsQZbaMh6TJ8K_lTz4/s400/_48409730_009829347-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Lord Fat Arse of Picklepocket</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>It's in the Czars</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">A couple of months ago he invited David to Grotty Cash to launch their exciting new project “The High Society” an exciting con-cept whereby some very rich people steal as much as they can from local councils, ordinary working people and the poor, then throw thousands on the dole and get them to sweep the streets, clean public toilets and run the services, for which we pay council tax, for nothing. You don't actually lose your job, you can come back and do it for free!</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIkkmRcbtzxWz2xaqPiPNW9wgbP5cqTB73AW-J7R2DFyhYKSneFKDtGKHmQYsTrsRJXBFW5WsWTpAWzHYBOP0W864j9_1FlI7b6SqTjzjAu0DS1zM2xHh88iWktX571KCcsBZSv_pzMhg/s1600/imagesCA7IH15J.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIkkmRcbtzxWz2xaqPiPNW9wgbP5cqTB73AW-J7R2DFyhYKSneFKDtGKHmQYsTrsRJXBFW5WsWTpAWzHYBOP0W864j9_1FlI7b6SqTjzjAu0DS1zM2xHh88iWktX571KCcsBZSv_pzMhg/s400/imagesCA7IH15J.jpg" width="268" /></a><span style="font-size: large;">Now when the big con plan for The High Society was launched, despite a few sceptics (450,000 locally) Phyllis was riding high on his ego. Once again somebody thick enough to think that he speaks on behalf of the city was ready to elevate him to the position of High Society Czar. “ Yes I had some critics,” said Phyllis “even from one of my former stars of Brooooockhie, Jimmy Corkhill, as played by Dean Sillyman. I said you’re just jealous because you wanted to be a Czar Dean” </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Three hours of laughter and repetition of this example of scouse wit followed as it was repeated to every media outlet that didn’t hang up on hearing his name.</span></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But even Jimmy thought the cuts were too savage. He had been around during the cruel crazy cuts during the 1980s. Why should his beloved Brookie go through this again...why Billy, why?</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD4GKaoT9eK5fgX1mspjDt2SN_A0mF4CSBODrfTb6t3iWeQhrBN5_Y4wyUCyLApZ1WOwZETtjdNNYlGhtMcOT3Tl26FpK7GAkwTk-9hMnnHV9pyK5gaixkqbZkKFuVq_Y_z4i51ET_UNw/s1600/KOWBOY.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="390" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD4GKaoT9eK5fgX1mspjDt2SN_A0mF4CSBODrfTb6t3iWeQhrBN5_Y4wyUCyLApZ1WOwZETtjdNNYlGhtMcOT3Tl26FpK7GAkwTk-9hMnnHV9pyK5gaixkqbZkKFuVq_Y_z4i51ET_UNw/s400/KOWBOY.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Great promises followed from Phyllis. “The new museum could be run by crack heads rather than crackpots, like David Flamingo, and staffed by the elderly residents of the first care home to fall victim to the cuts. There is no need for any paid staff, the Homeless can run the libraries, half the bastards sit in there to get warm all day, so why not put them in charge? Gets them off the streets. And do we really need so many leisure centres in this day and age? Most people I know have their own indoor heated pool, sauna and gym” </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>French Champaigne, good for the brain</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sounded great to Dave and Nick The Liar, and some people on the council were ready to buy into it too. But then it all seemed to go horribly wrong as suddenly Grotty Cash was presented with the worst cuts since Herbert spilled Botox in the coffee maker. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Suddenly it seemed impossible, unworkable. The scale of cuts meant that at least 1,500 council jobs must go and vital front-line services would be decimated. </span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilaBEMhhYjuEZH_SJUnnQuts6M5U3AZ72_sUmc4g1wy7hYihTtf-kBX72IyVBVDFSwJiltYbrHnvo21jRY0jdngqKge8ly425xGpvXQRuz4TEQPr3krKrfQ-VZD3vBTU0rCMtVKpRACkI/s1600/5grants-7279.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilaBEMhhYjuEZH_SJUnnQuts6M5U3AZ72_sUmc4g1wy7hYihTtf-kBX72IyVBVDFSwJiltYbrHnvo21jRY0jdngqKge8ly425xGpvXQRuz4TEQPr3krKrfQ-VZD3vBTU0rCMtVKpRACkI/s400/5grants-7279.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><strong>Local Grants Slashed</strong></span> </td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">There was no choice. How could the High Society be taken seriously when it was about to put 1,500 potentially in need of many of the services they worked in? It was not just those individuals, but also the cascade effect on the vulnerable that rely on the services, the communities and the whole infrastructure of the city. This was going to be worse than the 1980’s</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikYaK6TOhA3oGw1aXvCYSALr2UKpA1VLyHyGdgCpvXS_j7fTk-vgpGu2wp3FsnkbrvaKypBiseRKmyPT0oCwyWqdi7VlFKxIB5lQqIeOLOiww8juXMK0j8uK1bjSewYlGlvfxmeZbwLvY/s1600/Joe+Anderson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikYaK6TOhA3oGw1aXvCYSALr2UKpA1VLyHyGdgCpvXS_j7fTk-vgpGu2wp3FsnkbrvaKypBiseRKmyPT0oCwyWqdi7VlFKxIB5lQqIeOLOiww8juXMK0j8uK1bjSewYlGlvfxmeZbwLvY/s400/Joe+Anderson.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Tough choices for Liverpool Council Leader</strong></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>WONDERLAND</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So why not set an illegal budget some said, like we did in the 80s and have the city run directly by government commissioners? Give them the stereotype they are looking for. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Well they didn’t need to, because the moment the leader of the Grotty Cash council said the High Society is a con in the face of such brutal cuts that would destroy much of the voluntary work already going on and therefore the city is withdrawing from the project, that was the first line of attack from Jabba The Pickle, who is minister for local government and the communities. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Mr Hatton has cut services for political motives." he said. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"He’ll be hiring Taxis next!" </span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXexoRHJ-zVy5-2cj3DAGefcL52TC7I7oYyPdYSl_fSR4yo1roFIGZ0L3mkSCbWrnCLptDruP7cFGFY6q1nvX3SXBOuTr4kSgKzApaIIL-eR-UsK-GE-JwKIuV0RdzhHU66uYhW3NKJwc/s1600/del-boy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXexoRHJ-zVy5-2cj3DAGefcL52TC7I7oYyPdYSl_fSR4yo1roFIGZ0L3mkSCbWrnCLptDruP7cFGFY6q1nvX3SXBOuTr4kSgKzApaIIL-eR-UsK-GE-JwKIuV0RdzhHU66uYhW3NKJwc/s400/del-boy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">The Days of Degsy This time next year we'll still be millions less</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglNcVC38VAY4OAlHiLa7g3cezGqdivtZN94ZGzWA3AzS2NX6mcxkji4lyyks6cegXW6xV-R9ruapdp_vd1BB3P6Vzc0WuPJBff_HMfbLf4bsjWK1SNVHgt_2ZFyK76X5QPm66LkkW9Qeg/s1600/EricPickles_1456200c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglNcVC38VAY4OAlHiLa7g3cezGqdivtZN94ZGzWA3AzS2NX6mcxkji4lyyks6cegXW6xV-R9ruapdp_vd1BB3P6Vzc0WuPJBff_HMfbLf4bsjWK1SNVHgt_2ZFyK76X5QPm66LkkW9Qeg/s320/EricPickles_1456200c.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">The fat must be trimmed, says Pickles, start with your neck mate!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Phyllis joined in the chorus for a bit, saying to Dave, "you let me down lads, it stalled and the cuts are undermining it." </span><span style="font-size: large;">Unfortunately for Professor Redfern, it was the leader of the council that got invited onto the news programmes and featured in the national press about his decision to withdraw from the programme. "We never bleedin’ joined it in the first place!" said the clearly angry council leader. "It was that self promoting soft shite who invited them here!" </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Collide with Czars</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The scale of the cuts imposed upon the city even prompted Phyllis Redfern to make a further desperate statement: “It has become derailed, he said, the cuts are undermining the High Society and risking my role as Czar! This is not the way it was outlined to me, there’s been no action and I haven’t been on telly for a month, what are you Tory bastards playing at?”</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Phyllis, could see his position as Czar and his future Peerage, or a shot at Mayor slipping from his fingers and the council wasn't helping. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">“Who does he think he is?" Blasted the Professor of 2nd rate soap. "What gives him the right to speak for the city? Just ‘cos he won an election, how does that make him more important than me?” </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6RU_ysY3v8il_TNAP8nkiwDXyMjJnPtYCUM65F4Y96ing5N1WiIDMOmrKmMMI05DeKZo6iQzCBvunh26LZ08zw8HT01EG3gsWhrXIcimNKTCaJqc_AF9bMHesDT4S2k92SDZ9wPou3os/s1600/_47945173_-10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6RU_ysY3v8il_TNAP8nkiwDXyMjJnPtYCUM65F4Y96ing5N1WiIDMOmrKmMMI05DeKZo6iQzCBvunh26LZ08zw8HT01EG3gsWhrXIcimNKTCaJqc_AF9bMHesDT4S2k92SDZ9wPou3os/s400/_47945173_-10.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">Sad Face</span></strong></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;">There was only one thing for it, tt was time to make a stand under his new slogan “We The People” (Of Frodsham presumably) </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So with one of those amazing twirls, he perfected, Phyllis sets about rubbishing the Labour council to the Tory Press and the delight of Pickles and David Camouflage, by joining in the attacks on the city leaders and the Tories trying to hark back to the days of Militant. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">He said “We are better off without the council, now I can lead my people to the promised land, stopping off at Poundland to get their shopping, well they won’t be able to afford to go to Liverpool One!..." </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"..It’s just like in 2008 when the council made a mess of it and the commissioner raised the Twat Signal and I had to come and rescue the whole Capital Of Custard programme.”</span></div></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQq1oEyz3xK6nF7KD9CZczVheNvPtNVRb6QIpcg5-i31i8zdj6H0UZvNxdo0pbe3UNk24ourTgzls3DJDdiNDwvF8pwmpV9zJN1BhWNjj1WH809Ua04uzMbtLijAEv6i8ZPf3vu1Gvcxs/s1600/wally+and+Mint.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQq1oEyz3xK6nF7KD9CZczVheNvPtNVRb6QIpcg5-i31i8zdj6H0UZvNxdo0pbe3UNk24ourTgzls3DJDdiNDwvF8pwmpV9zJN1BhWNjj1WH809Ua04uzMbtLijAEv6i8ZPf3vu1Gvcxs/s400/wally+and+Mint.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: blue;">Leaders during the Custard year. It was Yellow and Thick</span> </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">“If it wasn’t for me getting Ringo on the roof at three times the original cost, and being too late to cancel the giant spider, as I wanted, it could have been a disaster. Well now we the people will take control and the council can do one!" </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"Wait 'til I’m Mayor, as Jeffrey Archer once said. "</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Well did you ever?</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">In a statement to the Exchange and Mart, Professor Rednose said today: </span><span style="font-size: large;">“All these councils can think about is having no money to deliver vital services and having to close down everything that is part of the very backbone of a civilised community, either that or they are whinging about making thousands of staff redundant, and wrecking their lives. They are too focussed on that to see the bigger picture of what the High Society can still offer me, and they are only looking at the negatives."</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXbRWcyLqGLR62rVM9G7DYnW9xOI-m1XA92IFO2zxN3cmcpip3EXA-UpyMDJKwf4K3p7h6mkLVNHH05Phh0eqED6QMDMHO1RerBFeBlyOqN8lEGroN0Ii0a6qWR4kaesyPwQe3QWYpMSg/s1600/spare+a+copper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="321" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXbRWcyLqGLR62rVM9G7DYnW9xOI-m1XA92IFO2zxN3cmcpip3EXA-UpyMDJKwf4K3p7h6mkLVNHH05Phh0eqED6QMDMHO1RerBFeBlyOqN8lEGroN0Ii0a6qWR4kaesyPwQe3QWYpMSg/s400/spare+a+copper.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Redundant Coppers queue for free handout </span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">at Big Society Soup Kitchen</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Each one of those sacked council workers will now have the time to polish my desk or get the coffee and a nice cake for my missus when we are chairing the National Museums meeting. (We are still trying to figure out how we wasted £75 million on that X crap at the Pier head. It was supposed to be part financed by building the black coffins!) </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"So instead of these people working for the council, listening to a load of moaning gets going on about the bin collection, they can empty my bin as a volunteer. They know I am one of them because: We the people, is what made the city." </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">"I gave them Brookie and Holly Oakes, that’s all they ever wanted and that’s why they will listen to any old shite I come out with. There’ always some knob-head who’ll listen to me, to get their gobs in the paper isn’t that right Flemmo?”</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu6WAfiKoJtq2_rrHWBdoKVk4MLqXmcGsPcZEf7qKXc1uqqLTrJYN1wXyiU2UZ4R6VqxJz2QtYCdWOnlmbaM0FKE0rMeH0nhpsZdg_DXYXfyXHxk5YiRhFhKtKJC_hnduU1USmDFKGaJI/s1600/brookside_closed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu6WAfiKoJtq2_rrHWBdoKVk4MLqXmcGsPcZEf7qKXc1uqqLTrJYN1wXyiU2UZ4R6VqxJz2QtYCdWOnlmbaM0FKE0rMeH0nhpsZdg_DXYXfyXHxk5YiRhFhKtKJC_hnduU1USmDFKGaJI/s400/brookside_closed.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><strong>Brookside closed due to cuts</strong></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>WHAT A SWELEGENT ELEGANT PARTY - THIS IS</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So there we have it ladies and gentlemen, no Tory MPs in the city but then they don’t need them now. They have Professor Turncoat to deliver the cruellest lie ever to be devised by a cynical, calculating wretched group of multi-millionaire arse lickers to the banks and financiers. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">As they continue to claim allowances for their second and third homes, jet around the world, watch the money fall into their accounts from their other multi million pound business interests or the massive inheritance they are due, they will watch you lose your job, your home and your local services to guarantee continued huge profits and obscene bonuses for the very people who caused the deficit. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And you can volunteer to sweep the streets for them when they visit. Professor Redmond is in charge of the brushes. He should use one on his bleeding hair. Keep at it Rednose maybe the Tories will give you your Peerage.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Thank goodness we have people like the Professor, so important, that without anybody asking and no mandate from anyone, he feels duty bound and is prepared to step in, and lead us.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">We the people, salute you. </span></strong></div><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXhfnuFPrlKlhM-j1qGuXrNTdd1ybnwgPj_AxxAgPuwzCTjN8Ptaj1sA2vMIlxJ1JI3EDldjICa7uLUg0dG6SQIt1CirqTntwWhXTM7mXvncetUAN0mnHPxo29uGKlcwZeTWx3-eEUXw8/s1600/sticking-up-two-fingers-s.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXhfnuFPrlKlhM-j1qGuXrNTdd1ybnwgPj_AxxAgPuwzCTjN8Ptaj1sA2vMIlxJ1JI3EDldjICa7uLUg0dG6SQIt1CirqTntwWhXTM7mXvncetUAN0mnHPxo29uGKlcwZeTWx3-eEUXw8/s400/sticking-up-two-fingers-s.png" width="273" /></a></div><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;"><strong>Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Bye! </strong></span></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Be nice to each other</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOr-E4ILozyB0CQEj8hrkctwJUXmht4FN-gOlnt1AvpuQjqJ41xBCJOWdO-K25WG10EuIsPkUU0dXWkNZZ0wN82NoMpKKSbgC3lUhujM6h-zDspTPG1Z631DlK5zk7p1810yKDoORuljM/s1600/hitchcock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" h5="true" height="337" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOr-E4ILozyB0CQEj8hrkctwJUXmht4FN-gOlnt1AvpuQjqJ41xBCJOWdO-K25WG10EuIsPkUU0dXWkNZZ0wN82NoMpKKSbgC3lUhujM6h-zDspTPG1Z631DlK5zk7p1810yKDoORuljM/s400/hitchcock.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-size: large;"><em>P.S. Of course there is one thing the council could do to lessen the impact of the cuts, sort out the rip-off that is costing us £78 million a year and that has been shown to have been overcharging by £10 million a year. How many years at £10 Million? Why do we need Liverpool Direct if it’s only to tell people the service no longer exists. Well I couldn’t leave it without mentioning that could I, nobody else on the council seems to want to mention it. </em></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div></div>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-79816087858492181522010-12-23T21:43:00.002+00:002010-12-26T20:00:09.440+00:00Pickles at Christmas: Away from politics and hard hitting social comment for a traditional Christmas tale of horror and suspenders.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDNy9moMMgZhkZAVGRwIYHOY9RPJ3aQsajdCyjhADfdGU5_Rnjaz8KpT3r6_mXsqQkwVvVJ964e5-Y6mJGGznkyaqEDArk2Kd8cc_oi8IbXZ_lXNdYfw3mFrQrbgDjDy1vGUmVEqXY1MY/s1600/article-1264414304299-080158AC000005DC-638744_636x372.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="372" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDNy9moMMgZhkZAVGRwIYHOY9RPJ3aQsajdCyjhADfdGU5_Rnjaz8KpT3r6_mXsqQkwVvVJ964e5-Y6mJGGznkyaqEDArk2Kd8cc_oi8IbXZ_lXNdYfw3mFrQrbgDjDy1vGUmVEqXY1MY/s640/article-1264414304299-080158AC000005DC-638744_636x372.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">Eric Pickles as he sets about destroying public services thanks to Clegg and the Lib Dems. </span></strong></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">But I am not writing about him, or the coalition or even life in the Anderson Shelter down in the War Cabinet as they face Kutskrieg with the Vestminster fokkers trying to destroy our vital port city. Even the poor Liverpool lib dems are in hiding and their recently installed Morrison shelter is falling apart as they try to come up with some kind of answer to the savage attack. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">No, not so close to Christmas Eve, I'm going to ignore all that. And I'm taking a great risk here posting this Christmas Special but it is really just a link to my personal diaries. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;">I know some of you who look to me to find out what's really going on in the city may be disappointed. Those who expect the more serious political headlines and in depth analysis which is usually my subject matter, may think this is far too frivolous for a serious academic and commentator like myself.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">I suppose I am following in the example of poor Mr Bartlett on his blog Dole Street Queues. who gets battered by mean minded comments from readers if he even slightly moves away from the intrigue and Machiavellingtons of local politics. If he so much as publishes a saucy limerick that he may have overheard from Flo Clucas or a CCTV picture of the rat catcher trying to grab Richard Kemp's moustache. (I don't know what Richard Kemp must think. Maybe he should tell us in a blog - better than having to listen to him.) there is an army of critics having a go at the poor bloke. Probably the Lib dems, as they are getting increasingly desperate since being betrayed by Clegg. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxobTHpYkKaUCz1Ad4mXP9oxU9PB67oaB4D_SSf101CwExoheYcqbq_W7eqF24c8f0hcLciiDJdr5Ce6hiHty99OZD346vGYMgds_Ffzvia3T9jJeWvqY0e6uvI-jpE9idmNzKcewf8WI/s1600/Guyler.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" n4="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxobTHpYkKaUCz1Ad4mXP9oxU9PB67oaB4D_SSf101CwExoheYcqbq_W7eqF24c8f0hcLciiDJdr5Ce6hiHty99OZD346vGYMgds_Ffzvia3T9jJeWvqY0e6uvI-jpE9idmNzKcewf8WI/s400/Guyler.jpg" width="333" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">But What does Richard Kemp Think? </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">He must think we're bleedin' soft in the head!</span></strong></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;">Have you noticed how they are all running scared of the inevitable electoral annihilation since joining the Conservatives? Very convenient these leaks, it means Clegg can still cuddle up to Cameron while they try to kid us that really they don't like the Tories or their policies, or that they think the cuts are too mean. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">They are desperate to show us that they are still nice and that they are there to stop the naughty tories, the nasty Mr Osbourne and Fatty Pickles from destroying people's lives in order to keep the bankers bonuses and make us and the poorest pay for their greed.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;">Well. Lib Dummo's they are only able to do that because you are keeping them in power and handed them the keys to number 10, all to secure a place in history for Clegg and a few hypocritical traitors to the people who trusted you with their vote. The country didn't go out and vote for a coalition, it was not your duty to help Cameron form a government in the interest of the country. But if Mr Clegg likes to believe that the risks being taken, and the misery and hardship that will be caused for hard working ordinary people is well worth the price for a little tinkering with electoral reform, a plank, he says, (Hmmm) then I am sure the unemployed, the sick, the vulnerable and the soon to be homeless will hail him as a hero when they see they have a second preferred choice on the ballot paper come the next election. </div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But I am not going to talk about all that misery, as in the words of that great social reformer and political philosopher, Lord Noddy of Holder... </span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">"IT'S CHHRRRR -ISSSSSSSST -MASSSSSS! " </span></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So instead, I am directing you to my Personal Diary at the link below. A Christmas tale of terror and getting into pickles...that's Wilfred Pickles and a Bird of the same name, not Lardy Arse Eric.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Story of my good friends Mr Clack and Mrs Hewitt, a pet Macaw called Wilfred, and lots of Christmas cheer and good will.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;">GAWD BLESS US, EVERYONE !</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong><span style="background-color: #eeeeee; color: red; font-size: large;">Here it is, click on the link below.</span></strong></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><a href="http://theprofessorspersonalchroniccalls.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-size: x-large;">http://theprofessorspersonalchroniccalls.blogspot.com/</span></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong>Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Bye</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Back in the new year to lift the lid on the wheelie bin of local politics and custard. </span><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Be Nice to each other</strong></span>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-4140016926176986402010-11-17T22:11:00.006+00:002010-11-23T14:34:23.054+00:00By the Pricking of my thumb, the board of Governors must be dumb. Controversy as a Diddy disagreement emerges over appointment of new chair. Nightmare on Elf Street part 92 Diddy's Back<div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHRSvuopQEDi-ls6uCVA6nB2kN7XPkfbRGqnc3K97LwKaOi6vbn_SfQIBdsqIOo8sG8IxFWikRa0r4DkMWL9o5XN5gqefcZ4vJRo9FCk9DO2PApcje_tmk_62-M5qh1gHXkVNU-eDjaUM/s1600/David+Henshaw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="340" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHRSvuopQEDi-ls6uCVA6nB2kN7XPkfbRGqnc3K97LwKaOi6vbn_SfQIBdsqIOo8sG8IxFWikRa0r4DkMWL9o5XN5gqefcZ4vJRo9FCk9DO2PApcje_tmk_62-M5qh1gHXkVNU-eDjaUM/s640/David+Henshaw.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">By Jove Missus, a new controversy has arisen for our beloved city, this time within the field of health. Well if you walk through a field you are bound to step into something unpleasant. I always thought the point of the health service was to make you feel better; well something’s just happened that’s made a lot of people sick. </span></strong></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><strong><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The other day I read in Mr Bartram’s Ye Oldham Gazetteer Blog site “Dole Street Queues” that one of our long lost sons is possibly returning to the city. Blimey, it can’t be who I’m thinking of, it cost us a fortune to lose him the first time and now some idiots are trying to bring him back again. Give him even more of our money?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">What am I talking about, you ask, and not for the first time. </span><span style="font-size: large;">Well, as you may know, there is a small building hidden in the grounds of Oldham Hey Hospital that I like to hop over to several times a month. It’s the “Knotty Ash Corns Clinic” or KACC. I am actually the patron of the clinic.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">THE KACC</td></tr>
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">You have probably seen me on here many times talking about KACC. Well this time it’s a big one, with a lot of tensions and strains behind closed doors. You see a little object has re-emerged ladies and gents. You may have thought it had gone away but then up it pops again floating around causing great dismay like a bad spent penny. And by Jove, we spent a few trying to get rid of it last time.</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes Missus, it’s the astonishing announcement by the Corn Clinics board of governors to appoint Sir David Haemorrhoid as the new chair. Honestly, they have, Sir Diddy! They want to give the job to that little pain in the…are they mad, have they lost the pot? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sir Diddy whilst at Grotty Cash Council - Back Again ?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">What’s he need another chair for, what’s wrong with the little stool? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I’m proposing to table a motion to The Regional Wealth Authority before it’s scrapped…oh that’s him as well. That should tell you enough, all he did there was made a funny film about obesity. Did you see it? I don’t know if that was really him or a pillowcase stuffed full of mince. Deliberately fluffing his lines, hoping to get £200 quid for it from You’ve Been Framed. Unfortunately it was considered too scary for the early evening slot. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But that’s it, when the Wealth Authority is scrapped he’ll be after yet another wage packet. How many is that? I thought we had already paid him the over £330 grand figure that he was demanding to clear off out of the city. Wasn’t that enough? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">You see, you should never pay them off, they always come back for more.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span> <span style="font-size: large;">Who keeps inviting him back? Wake up and smell the coffers, as the Yanks say. He fills his own first. He’s supposed to have retired, hasn't he? That’s why before he left he was tearing round phoning the Echo, screaming and stamping his little feet threatening everyone over his pension. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Remember that Rolf Harris song? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>“I want My Money Waaah ha ha haaa!” </strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoUHjLlK8EI"><strong>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoUHjLlK8EI</strong></a></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">It sounded just like that. He’s a one man PFI.</span><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">He made former leader of Grotty Cash, poor Mike Tory, appear a laughing stock. Well okay, you can’t </span><span style="font-size: large;">credit him with that. Even Wally Bradlow, who took over, in what was his finest hour, he might have been a bit daft sometimes, but not daft enough to let him stay on. Church bells rang out, the day he went. And thanks to him and the crew he drafted in, the money nearly ran out too. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Friends in low places that’s what this smacks of. They say he was interviewed but I read a comment on the Echo site that he allegedly came third however “it was felt his connections helped make him the choice” What does that mean, did he have your knackers connected to a car battery until you said yes? Who were the other candidates then? King Herod? Typhoid Mary? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Diddy Fail or was he pushed?</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">You only have to look back at his track record. There’s about 20 tons of it still rusting after the Line One Tram debacle. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now as fellow corn sufferers will know, this ridiculous appointment has come when we are right in the middle of the clinic’s £47.50 refurbishment, and my Project Manager, who has been an inspiration to the whole programme, and even chosen the paint, (Cornfield) has walked out in absolute disgust following this lunatic announcement. His brushes are still in a bucket of turps in the shed. Well I don’t blame him, if it wasn’t for my corns, I’d put my foot down too. </span><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">What can we do to prevent this? We can’t organise a protest march, not with most of the people using the clinic. Can you imagine it? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">“Diddy-Diddy-Diddy, Out, Out, Owww, me corns! </span></strong></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now according to the clinic’s motto, which is an old American Indian proverb</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Never judge a man until you’ve walked in his orthopaedic shoes" </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">as the Moccasins used to say. Well not in this case, not with my feet, I’d never get into a pair of his size 5 Pathfinders. Although I am envious of the little compass in them which points to Magnetic Nat West. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes, it’s all right for him in his Cuban heels, marching from one pay packet to another. Mind you, he has to wear the heels; it saves taking a stepladder out to the cash point every half an hour to check his bank balance. Tell him he won’t need the heels and just give him the boot. (again)</span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNFsq-rPkTQLdiLZR7UEXkZuCHTuxEjFe83nrbAvHnO8qfzyOIilKWP9qtGuZmhXqPNrR3Pflwh31QEx44uMPPfdLQ57L57QSRxGRw9yu_7LvIIzMLf0kizanPu8LEOyTyklpj-XHZFUI/s1600/imagesCA0YR17A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNFsq-rPkTQLdiLZR7UEXkZuCHTuxEjFe83nrbAvHnO8qfzyOIilKWP9qtGuZmhXqPNrR3Pflwh31QEx44uMPPfdLQ57L57QSRxGRw9yu_7LvIIzMLf0kizanPu8LEOyTyklpj-XHZFUI/s1600/imagesCA0YR17A.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">He may indeed be well heeled, but in my opinion he has no sole. I really couldn’t think of anyone less suited to a job that relies on good PR and high profile friendly engagement with the public. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>“But he turned the council around”</strong> they say.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">What? You mean like as in “Turn around this is a stick up!” holding a gun to their backs before legging it with as much money as his little legs could carry. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>“Ahh yes but he has great connections”</strong> they tell us. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes an umbilical cord to his bank manager.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">For heaven sake, just plough back through the headlines and look at the kind of publicity that he brings. Have a look at the opinions of the people who matter, and the opinions of the public. Look at the on-line comments from readers of the Post & Echo. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Look at his major achievements last time he was here. Decimation of front line jobs while overseeing huge fat-cat pay increases for him and his mates. Cost us a fortune to get rid of most of them. Just have a look. Left us with the finances that would hardly cover the running of a corner shop. Is that what’s needed? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Are you going to set up Corns Direct with BT? That will soak up any funds you try and raise. How about a million pound training programme “The Alder Way” It’s okay, you can abandon it after a year, you wont have to go on it.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">And what is he saying to try and convince us that he’s Father Christmas come early, a short-arse Hairy Poppins, wanting to prove his life long connection and devotion to the place? Well he says he was treated there when he was little. When was that a fortnight ago? Did he have to have his chin removed due to an in-growing toenail? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Or was it in the very early days when he was inspired by the treatment he received – leeches.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuY4LESoDw2UU3eggwxzq2yCDt-flUoiSXS_b9VTkzAda2PGLWziA3CeSUhyVcsIAfK_b1p-cYTAFi7FtZ-E_wkkKh1K9JR182M1cLn1-6jBMTFetMphpLiSdFSwEfJSnBhy1ijFDE8_Q/s1600/Leeches-150w.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuY4LESoDw2UU3eggwxzq2yCDt-flUoiSXS_b9VTkzAda2PGLWziA3CeSUhyVcsIAfK_b1p-cYTAFi7FtZ-E_wkkKh1K9JR182M1cLn1-6jBMTFetMphpLiSdFSwEfJSnBhy1ijFDE8_Q/s320/Leeches-150w.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Other Candidates for the post</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now I’m not a particular fan of J. F. Kennedy, nothing against her either, and to give her credit, she stood firm during the last Cuban Heel Crisis, when she heard the bray of pigs diving into the NHS trough, but I’ve heard she was a possible candidate for this job. </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij_JtJMB_UJRI5j8r3rcQuwLxiE17MHecPSiaKH6QbE2y0gu3jFCLX3lLxdtGLOhgl5Bc2kYzp0FGnvQhFnPnsmjjyGoSBHHJ_USGMtd3RkLNnrvq4WhZVlw4beRp20y0JhO8ZL-gHDWQ/s1600/orn_piggy_bank.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" px="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij_JtJMB_UJRI5j8r3rcQuwLxiE17MHecPSiaKH6QbE2y0gu3jFCLX3lLxdtGLOhgl5Bc2kYzp0FGnvQhFnPnsmjjyGoSBHHJ_USGMtd3RkLNnrvq4WhZVlw4beRp20y0JhO8ZL-gHDWQ/s400/orn_piggy_bank.jpg" width="276" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, a former Minister of State for Health up against a former glorified Pen Pusher, who only cares about his state of wealth? And the job goes to…. yes, the man with the biro? I don’t know if she was right for the job but if it all came down to connections, surely there are a few better connections to be gained by appointing somebody like Kennedy, or was there an assassin from the grassy Knowsley calling the shots? I hope none of them selecting him were previously selected by him for their current roles.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Next thing you know, they’ll be erecting a little statue of him in the grounds. Well if they do, I’ll nick the fishing rod and kick over the toadstool. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is a public relations disaster as far as I and many people in the city are concerned. Do they seriously expect us to believe that the pool of talent in the region is so dried up that they have to dredge it to this level? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The governors need to think again and everyone connected to or who supports the place should write to them, the local papers, the websites, their councillors and their MPs. Tell them what you think. Call Roger Fillets or better still, Pete Price. While we are at it, ask to see the records of the candidates and interviews. Who exactly is on the panel that made this decision and more importantly, what medication are they on? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span> <strong><span style="font-size: large;">Remember this could cause very bad publicity, the Corn Clinic is right next door to our proud, famous and much loved children’s hospital. You can’t dump toxic waste on a site like that. </span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Blimey, I thought we had problems with the Corn Clinic, I've just seen this look at what's happening next door to us</span><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://blogs.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/dalestreetblues/2010/11/david-henshaws-return-to-publi.html"><span style="font-size: large;">http://blogs.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/dalestreetblues/2010/11/david-henshaws-return-to-publi.html</span></a></div><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Bye</span></strong><br />
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Be Nice to Each Other<br />
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</div>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-11422478469885591952010-10-14T22:23:00.011+01:002010-10-17T15:51:40.450+01:00As the city honour Macca with a new sculpture, the Professor examines our obsession with The Fab Fortune - The BTs and asks; Have we been sold a Lemon for a MacCartload of Cash? Liverpool Direct Questions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><strong><span style="font-size: large;"></span></strong><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The I.T. Dog</td></tr>
</tbody></table><strong><span style="font-size: large;">By Jove Missus, what a beautiful day! </span></strong><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">What a beautiful day for running naked into the council chamber, grabbing the Liverpool Direct contract and saying “what’s the chance of a cover-up?"</span></strong><strong><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></strong></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">What a beautiful day for emptying a pint of milk over the councils interim Chief Executive and saying; </span></strong></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">“How’s this for a whitewash?” </span></strong></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">What a beautiful day, ha ha, yes, what a beautiful day for wearing a pair of glass underpants and saying..... </span></strong></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">“How’s this for transparent bollocks?”</span></strong></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Yes missus, you’ve guessed it, I’m back to talk about my favourite subject – </span><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">No not The Beatles!</span> </strong><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I am here to talk about the other Fab Fortune The BTs. It has been a very poignant week for BTs fans in Grotty Cash. A week that saw the unveiling of a beautiful new piece of art for the city and a celebration of Peas. (The Professor adopts a slow gravel voice) </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">“I want some peas missus, get me some peas. I love peas.”</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes ladies and gentlemen, this week we honoured one of Grotty Cash’s favourite sons. </span><span style="font-size: large;">The Working Cash Hero himself, Macca. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYn8BZw4T0keN-zIEjPJ42iadNaAda4mrZ55jU-iQeIinw8JqM-Nw_5fFSrWaxNbfvzpR8hjSZJl1scMizxmiABovjkeVEg0SJ4xpQMNJwThyphenhyphenyPVTak6bkY_oL5uAXstTYfKeO4A5vvws/s1600/Dr+MacElhinney.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYn8BZw4T0keN-zIEjPJ42iadNaAda4mrZ55jU-iQeIinw8JqM-Nw_5fFSrWaxNbfvzpR8hjSZJl1scMizxmiABovjkeVEg0SJ4xpQMNJwThyphenhyphenyPVTak6bkY_oL5uAXstTYfKeO4A5vvws/s320/Dr+MacElhinney.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dr MacAlotamoney</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">There was a moving ceremonial unveiling of a monument to honour his achievements and of the rich legacy he has left for his retirement – which can’t come soon enough.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJnoMgvxdTW9-lplTPeVawgCAIrhMKcglXYzOf1_HPaIm2z8Of_Nhvctmaw0HPqLS0eiVHEBTZ_IHiVdYaqdwA2IQJ6_FOO3NBU3vzjwLYQo3crQ8LWKkcq6fw8K0_JUUnJ8CFBkQQc7E/s1600/beattie+0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJnoMgvxdTW9-lplTPeVawgCAIrhMKcglXYzOf1_HPaIm2z8Of_Nhvctmaw0HPqLS0eiVHEBTZ_IHiVdYaqdwA2IQJ6_FOO3NBU3vzjwLYQo3crQ8LWKkcq6fw8K0_JUUnJ8CFBkQQc7E/s200/beattie+0.jpg" width="141" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The city was honoured by the attendance of Maureen Lipmann herself, dressed as BT with her son Ology. </span><span style="font-size: large;">She spoke warmly of the love Macca always had for the amount of cash he could squeeze out of the city and of the fun side to his personality, how in the early days in the back bedroom of Auntie Diddy’s home on Menlove Revenue the walls shook with laughter as they started to create their first big hits: </span><br />
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</div><span style="font-size: large;"><em>Please, please Fleece me</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>LDLeanor Rigs it</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Hey Screwed</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Doctor Rob It</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>Eight pay-days a week </em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>The continuing story of Bung a high bill...</em></span><span style="font-size: large;"><em>and</em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><em>We can’t work it out.</em></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">She said she remembered Macca writing the line, </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Yesterday, all the money seemed to come my way, now it looks like more is on the way, if Joe don’t see some sense today” </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">And with that, she pulled the string stolen from a tramps dog to reveal the beautiful erection on Chavastminster Park, as the crowd roared with laughter. (which unfortunately caused several bits to drop off)</span><br />
<a href="http://condensedthoughts.blogspot.com/2010/10/grotesque-addition-to-grosvenor-pool.html">http://condensedthoughts.blogspot.com/2010/10/grotesque-addition-to-grosvenor-pool.html</a></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbXG8u-X44pG7Zo4ptEkYEvb28XTkWUGnzVGGlh6dGYTLcDwwLWfx03w5KrLuAZ-eheZd8WUTPf0MWtZZKv1Q70eivrEoSvSfWf_oF9tg21kqLR9yQYNmN_wz7vFjofY9MoEdlGEDzty0/s1600/LDL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbXG8u-X44pG7Zo4ptEkYEvb28XTkWUGnzVGGlh6dGYTLcDwwLWfx03w5KrLuAZ-eheZd8WUTPf0MWtZZKv1Q70eivrEoSvSfWf_oF9tg21kqLR9yQYNmN_wz7vFjofY9MoEdlGEDzty0/s400/LDL.jpg" width="291" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Monument to Macca and The BTs unveilled</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">In this same week, it was important to also remember the role played by another man who gave the BTs the opportunity that put them on the road to shame and fortune, the man who under the hypnotic powers of evil impresario Sir Diddy Henchman, made them what they are today, yes missus, the man who couldn’t manage the BTs, Brainless Mike Epstrorey.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX3MGFgm5ojr5u1lHpNNG2pfbQT0Urtp7T8ejLCWLuPPCAkEgZww9UQKxUQoxdDh6z3uAH88Y9qvxtyjXLQQr3xB96xuFub4-DJujr8JHny1xF95T8MGAuYNFobcZ_R5NYcGkdb8SZl3A/s1600/Mike+Storey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="351" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX3MGFgm5ojr5u1lHpNNG2pfbQT0Urtp7T8ejLCWLuPPCAkEgZww9UQKxUQoxdDh6z3uAH88Y9qvxtyjXLQQr3xB96xuFub4-DJujr8JHny1xF95T8MGAuYNFobcZ_R5NYcGkdb8SZl3A/s400/Mike+Storey.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mike Epstrorey The Man who made Macca rich and helped launch the BTs</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So it was fitting that in the same week Liverpool Directly honoured Macca, that we also held a ceremony to recognise Epstorey’s role in creating the BTs, with the re-naming of a well known derelict theatre building. When deciding how he should be honoured, the current leader of Grotty Cash Joan Sanderson (Doris bloody Yule, to his mates) said the choice of building was obvious. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">And so the former Inept-loon Theatre on Hangover Street was re-named "The Storeyteller." </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/Entertainment/Theatre-and-Comedy/Neptune-Theatre-changes-name-_15558.asp"><span style="font-size: x-small;">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/Entertainment/Theatre-and-Comedy/Neptune-Theatre-changes-name-_15558.asp</span></a></span></div> <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5MXvoqpdwjylrZAMdp-1UtzgbIb4oWdbdzacPlRwQYHYVFKCNy_38f73ifdc8DLr39dxqkD2e3bzGFJNxsVMoi35Kv6k73pWxgIbbLJf-X_nuIoj0t7R_gPao-eBvXCZrWxjLgz-3T0c/s1600/Joe+Anderson+Starved+Lib+Dem+Liverbird.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5MXvoqpdwjylrZAMdp-1UtzgbIb4oWdbdzacPlRwQYHYVFKCNy_38f73ifdc8DLr39dxqkD2e3bzGFJNxsVMoi35Kv6k73pWxgIbbLJf-X_nuIoj0t7R_gPao-eBvXCZrWxjLgz-3T0c/s400/Joe+Anderson+Starved+Lib+Dem+Liverbird.jpg" width="315" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">New Council Leader Joan Sanderson shows how the Lib Dems almost killed the Liverbird</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Zzzzzzzzz!</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Local Isle of Man based hack, Roley Joe Riley has already got his flask and duvet ready to sleep through the first performance, when it re-opens next year with a production of Jimmy McCracker’s “Old Chas Cole” This was one of Macca's favourite's he told me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">A free parking concession will be available to all patrons and fellow joggers who attend. The refurbishment of the theatre, when complete, will also see the installation of a disabled shower room for VIPs reflecting Macca’s commitment to a quality opportunity.</span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Press coverage</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now you would think missus, that with the mood of celebration and festivity in the city, particularly as the unveiling of the Macca sculpture also coincides with what would so far this year have been his 70th Million, that the local press would be joining in the festerings. But no, that would be too much to hope for. </span><br />
<a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/News-and-Comment/General/The-Laz-WordOn-Liverpool-Direct_15422.asp">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/News-and-Comment/General/The-Laz-WordOn-Liverpool-Direct_15422.asp</a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I don’t know what it is with these miserable bloggers but that young chap from Oldham, Dave Barkalot, who works on the Daily Post, has been publishing all sorts of nonsense about the BTs in the press and on his blog. This has encouraged a whole load of cranks to write in saying that far from being our proudest sons, that the BTs have been given a ticket to take the city for a ride. Liverpool Direct £78 Million, One way Only, no returns available. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTTb-x2wA5JOptEuHYMHF83EJ-WRo0Yrz-BLtRaCElLkNXtOBx1vShpkEI19ED-84SbHhhqk7QozujkC3YM1QxvRT0Pm9g-xQxqE1rHGh2iyTXjrFhcPRAS9eub-YRkOh-TJet90XPDis/s1600/superman-secret-origin-3-e1281633175817.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTTb-x2wA5JOptEuHYMHF83EJ-WRo0Yrz-BLtRaCElLkNXtOBx1vShpkEI19ED-84SbHhhqk7QozujkC3YM1QxvRT0Pm9g-xQxqE1rHGh2iyTXjrFhcPRAS9eub-YRkOh-TJet90XPDis/s400/superman-secret-origin-3-e1281633175817.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Echo Comment: Kraptonight </div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">As usual, the cranks are hiding behind silly aliases, too scared to come out into the open just because Macca would have them in concrete boots in an Octopuses Garden. How are Dolan and Cosgrove doing on the Ex-Factor? Anybody know?</span> </div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Barkalot, in his blog, which, following the council cut-backs, is due to be re-named “Dole Street Queues” published a secret report that more or less says the city has been getting ripped–off by £10 million a year overcharge on top of the £78 million we pay the BTs for answering the phone and reading a script from bit of paper. It would have only been £48 Million but the council had to amend the contract to say that they were required to read it out loud. </span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Well it’s claimed that this damning judgement, like all the other damning judgements, had been kept from the public, whilst at the same time in a complete volte face, the new administration were negotiating a brand new album possibly called: Revolver Held to the Head or The Whitewash Album or more appropriately HELP! Or The Robber R Souls Album.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://blogs.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/dalestreetblues/2010/09/the-damning-report-into-liverp.html#more"><span style="font-size: small;">http://blogs.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/dalestreetblues/2010/09/the-damning-report-into-liverp.html#more</span></a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well yes, we all know it’s a complete rip-off, the whole BTs industry, The BT’s Experience , The Hard Days Blight Hotel and The Tragical MikeStory Tour. But look at the benefit it has brought to the way we do things in Grotty Cash…er……..well whatever they are, we won’t be able to do them for much longer as we’re skint. And some people are saying that the BTs is part of the reason for it.</span></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhETT9U-AaUWRyGfCi14IXHmDPoWii0nSBGDL9KaUuYN69zJq2xQEl3-oRocs2UxXAproZT30jH9n_l1-pKMGtkUje7cwH5xrcq61z7cOF1Ngk13Sf-LxjntoSbOgOCk16tLAHKmWBvcHY/s1600/MoneyPit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhETT9U-AaUWRyGfCi14IXHmDPoWii0nSBGDL9KaUuYN69zJq2xQEl3-oRocs2UxXAproZT30jH9n_l1-pKMGtkUje7cwH5xrcq61z7cOF1Ngk13Sf-LxjntoSbOgOCk16tLAHKmWBvcHY/s400/MoneyPit.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">LDL Finance Department</td></tr>
</tbody></table> <div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So I hope you will all write in to Dole Street Queues, or your local councillor to try and make sure that Uncle Joan, does the right thing and continues to let the BTs bleed us dry. Otherwise what will we do on BT’s day if they take all our phones off us and switch off our computers? Thank goodness the BTs have banned Barkalots blog from the council. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCXYFmUbQD9s50EohneNtxeCgilD5wkjEEKlX-dk71h36N1llvyQ2dI5J1AmpFHZm2k_yPW3vhoCQNKu1di30qp3liMpOQ9e42Bw7da1yB2TnNS2aeSTYRvkmyMngQ5APZPb_l0WNaWuA/s1600/lott4bv2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCXYFmUbQD9s50EohneNtxeCgilD5wkjEEKlX-dk71h36N1llvyQ2dI5J1AmpFHZm2k_yPW3vhoCQNKu1di30qp3liMpOQ9e42Bw7da1yB2TnNS2aeSTYRvkmyMngQ5APZPb_l0WNaWuA/s320/lott4bv2.jpg" width="206" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Cross Party Meeting to discuss the BTs amidst fear that Wally Bradlow may be excluded</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So at the moment Joe and all the gang are having an all night party review of the BTs contract. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div> <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZRKhUEB_KY_PV_pZU2l-JvF36xwx_ecL9J3LrzRZC6C4SZE4uFD448JWEjd7lPddEQ3NZZawF3FSmBe9IIe1DC6j-W120lMGisMNUnpfS-ZamxD4ibyXPUL-Bl6VlEdQ-DqLlU7TSkhg/s1600/Radford.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZRKhUEB_KY_PV_pZU2l-JvF36xwx_ecL9J3LrzRZC6C4SZE4uFD448JWEjd7lPddEQ3NZZawF3FSmBe9IIe1DC6j-W120lMGisMNUnpfS-ZamxD4ibyXPUL-Bl6VlEdQ-DqLlU7TSkhg/s320/Radford.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cllr Bonnie Radford raises a burning issue</td></tr>
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;">But at least this means that my old mate from the Libertines, Councillor Bonnie Radford will be there to put some pressure on them. Nobody can keep his gob shut, which in this case, is probably a good thing. </span></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">As for the current lot in charge, I know that over the years they have not been big fans of the BTs and many of them said that their contract with the city and the money it was costing was an absolute disgrace. </span><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Well it’s one thing saying you didn’t like the BTs when in opposition, but don’t try and convince us now you have the opportunity to do something about it that Simon and Garfunkle were better, by constantly playing The Sound Of Silence. I’ll have the Environmental Health after you – it’s deafening! </span></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZhc_NmztB-WkAqH8bEAUAgWGeq2eciWajXy8MIZVlcY0vK2iI9K2XBBRb9D45chybP-S2G3fzOYM9NRZjaBEl6NuZzQsepwNdOKT97yhTnw2gOZKCekwp0qH0M44GJlgjTl0MRl3bHSU/s1600/imagesCA7Q8BEF.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZhc_NmztB-WkAqH8bEAUAgWGeq2eciWajXy8MIZVlcY0vK2iI9K2XBBRb9D45chybP-S2G3fzOYM9NRZjaBEl6NuZzQsepwNdOKT97yhTnw2gOZKCekwp0qH0M44GJlgjTl0MRl3bHSU/s320/imagesCA7Q8BEF.jpg" width="208" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dave Clarklett City Head Hitter</td></tr>
</tbody></table> <span style="font-size: large;">Anyway, Missus, here below is the link to all those moaning comments and miserable bloggers writing in and whining about the truth to Dave Barkalot on his blog page, </span><span style="font-size: large;">"Dole Street Queues."</span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<a href="http://blogs.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/dalestreetblues/2010/10/liverpool-direct-limited-ldl--.html">http://blogs.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/dalestreetblues/2010/10/liverpool-direct-limited-ldl--.html</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>I always said that the Daily Post and Echo was a quality newspaper. Well done, finally somebody there is prepared to try and Oldham to account.</strong></span></div><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">Tatty Bye Everybody, Tatty Bye !</span></strong><br />
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<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Be nice to each other.</span></em></strong><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgghhzych2YhRVfOkliv-ELPtBC0qQNrghA-taC_qIthPDxMsbpXEdOjHJwOLfIRvyGmpQO83AWRXCdEgd9GTzALvU3_tOl1YVegfXUY06U3bUic3kYl_T84nczSB9bkSgrqIr5qF1SyNQ/s1600/money-lifestyle-greed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgghhzych2YhRVfOkliv-ELPtBC0qQNrghA-taC_qIthPDxMsbpXEdOjHJwOLfIRvyGmpQO83AWRXCdEgd9GTzALvU3_tOl1YVegfXUY06U3bUic3kYl_T84nczSB9bkSgrqIr5qF1SyNQ/s320/money-lifestyle-greed.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Duck Billed Platitudes</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"></div>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-26488050922083739082010-07-22T22:18:00.003+01:002010-07-23T19:19:18.305+01:00Another £330k for Liverpool Day at Shanghai Expo. Is it justified or a criminal waste and should we bring back the scaffold or leave them there?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4y1gD2QYGjD-cp6IjQ4eR1cCzawB67Cvm-E2NayfQCLs7DixWfbuWvdFlrll58pZeD_02sEUg27BEalFc_7vOzmiaN09fsMVRd2_41ygb53F22AMFNNyrd9MB-b5iwZGchrT5JxPWDe8/s1600/imagesCAOQ7JG5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" hw="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4y1gD2QYGjD-cp6IjQ4eR1cCzawB67Cvm-E2NayfQCLs7DixWfbuWvdFlrll58pZeD_02sEUg27BEalFc_7vOzmiaN09fsMVRd2_41ygb53F22AMFNNyrd9MB-b5iwZGchrT5JxPWDe8/s320/imagesCAOQ7JG5.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">By Jove Missus, I make no apologies for returning to the subject of Shanghai, because as I said last time, our £3million Liverpool Pavilion at the Shanghai Expo is money well spent, particularly if they now want to send me back on another freebie for a special Liverpool Day grand finale.</span></strong> <br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So stop moaning about job cuts and services under threat, you can worry and moan about that when me and our local celebs and freeloaders are back. But don't moan too loud as I will have had a skinfull by then and my head will be banging. Now I know the council is skint with a deficit of £125 million over the next 5 years, and that’s before the Cleggeron cuts. So what’s another £330k to finance our special Liverpool Day? A couple of day centres maybe 30 /40 jobs or one Chief Executive and a cleaner - that’s not too much to sacrifice for a nice little party for your favourite stars and the local hangers on is it? </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3HDxRMXplJUiq4TMiluwpe1Xu6VcX1x2T7YWD9uhyphenhyphenu8VwHb-M_xsmZRX4nKkF-0fdm7qH7gV3PGZA2hsSxFtF3rU-RMOcUQOAnw_DEgXXo38DPNJKLWsi8MMGKaAMJfYNC8tgb4HCNUw/s1600/chinese-money-paper-20-yuan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" hw="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3HDxRMXplJUiq4TMiluwpe1Xu6VcX1x2T7YWD9uhyphenhyphenu8VwHb-M_xsmZRX4nKkF-0fdm7qH7gV3PGZA2hsSxFtF3rU-RMOcUQOAnw_DEgXXo38DPNJKLWsi8MMGKaAMJfYNC8tgb4HCNUw/s320/chinese-money-paper-20-yuan.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl0fWlIiwbP-6fcg_bdMOFU15S-SFzXNmEzPes3o5uxS2jKx74THh5rp9uI8w4f6F2dk8u3Fa9MlKlwSOQlhwOKoWEs77rHVAF4TiLdIqazsqHKBjsQ1CbX2XIPhTe549Ra27G99QIe6Q/s1600/Roger+Fillets.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" hw="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl0fWlIiwbP-6fcg_bdMOFU15S-SFzXNmEzPes3o5uxS2jKx74THh5rp9uI8w4f6F2dk8u3Fa9MlKlwSOQlhwOKoWEs77rHVAF4TiLdIqazsqHKBjsQ1CbX2XIPhTe549Ra27G99QIe6Q/s200/Roger+Fillets.jpg" width="155" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Let me tell you some of the line up; I tell you the people of Shanghai won’t know what’s hit them. As my mate Pete Priceright would say, “They’ll Knock Us Out” Besides me and the Did Hee Men, there will Radio Yangtzeside’s <strong>Roger Fillets,</strong> if we can get him off the phone.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOsuoIzX2AbQInI4XWqJZrlPfZXo6Iyx1IlU8dUV7lSrfTo_lq_iR2mKjrqwXBubSdcG4bjklKEYcooSbp3mzbvxqMAZJJnwLXkCdSoGxHLOpYhJgL0GY5pmZ9iV-RFWI803ZjKSi8mH8/s1600/RLPO.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" hw="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOsuoIzX2AbQInI4XWqJZrlPfZXo6Iyx1IlU8dUV7lSrfTo_lq_iR2mKjrqwXBubSdcG4bjklKEYcooSbp3mzbvxqMAZJJnwLXkCdSoGxHLOpYhJgL0GY5pmZ9iV-RFWI803ZjKSi8mH8/s200/RLPO.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">And as well as a Martial Arts display by the Unarmed Wombats, The whole of the</span><span style="font-size: large;"> Royal Tandoori Philharmonic Orchestra will be flown over for the day to knock out a few tunes for us.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
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</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But there is not just me for comic relief, no Missus, one of our brightest funnymen will be going over there to entertain the influential business community of Shanghai.</span> </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwVJJNupVZftXUgPbS72s-vlvtvwyKpA-kLVrlSErG8Bh_dczxazi-SmYLVcm2sl4_WvC6unddSqem4SdAFFMqZlQYoJS2hkSUQULMzk8Yp7KwlRu_zwZKDSQ_LHrLE3P-f8iMt8sT3-8/s1600/stan+Boardman.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" hw="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwVJJNupVZftXUgPbS72s-vlvtvwyKpA-kLVrlSErG8Bh_dczxazi-SmYLVcm2sl4_WvC6unddSqem4SdAFFMqZlQYoJS2hkSUQULMzk8Yp7KwlRu_zwZKDSQ_LHrLE3P-f8iMt8sT3-8/s200/stan+Boardman.bmp" width="200" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
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</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">According to a reliable soy source, who acts as my right hand man and pencil sharpener, Mr Stan Broadman (left) will also be flown out to perform cultural anecdotes about Liverpool Chinese Chip shops. </span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong><em>"The Geeeermans"</em></strong></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span> <span style="font-size: large;">Yes the Fokker will be jetting off to Shanghai from Arthur Askey International Airport (Above us only Bees) with all your favourite stars. </span></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The show, which will focus on Liverpool’s bright future, will be compered by Brian Inglis from TVs All Our Yesterdays. But best of all missus, the star attraction will be the greatest musical group the world has ever seen, who are re-uniting for Liverpool Day. Yes it’s true! The Liverpool lads who shook the world and changed the face of popular culture forever.............wait for it!</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong>The Scuffles !</strong> </span> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLnLNQzSs226GdLxz6eIOvSbLjqNtKeuebBjCnry9U3uzIMuF7pwjRr0TilEAcfC2dgR8mHRJVuLNwH1yKmtde9LLtvAATWnvfu9apbnLfnk0y0B1pbnzsDIgyJH90KncafUPgpEQi-oM/s1600/s5256_300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" hw="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLnLNQzSs226GdLxz6eIOvSbLjqNtKeuebBjCnry9U3uzIMuF7pwjRr0TilEAcfC2dgR8mHRJVuLNwH1yKmtde9LLtvAATWnvfu9apbnLfnk0y0B1pbnzsDIgyJH90KncafUPgpEQi-oM/s400/s5256_300.jpg" width="398" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now obviously it's not the original line up of Arthur Scargill, </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Woody Allen and Alan Price. </span><span style="font-size: large;">(Pictured above)</span></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">No it's the later and much better version, "The Bootleg Scuffles" starring Mike McSpielman, John Bucketawaterman and my very good friend and poet Reggie McCough. They will be going over to perform some of their greatest hits and maybe a few of Reggie's mucky Limericks. (although hopefully not the one about the man from Hong Kong)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So c’mon ladies and gentlemen lets sack a few people so we can raise the money and have a bit of fun in Shanghai on the last day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Now because we are very close, my good friend Reggie McCough, has sent me a sneak preview of a specially written new version of their number one hit </span><span style="font-size: large;">“Lilly We’re Skint”</span> <span style="font-size: large;">and so here it is below for a good old singalong. C</span><span style="font-size: large;">’mon, cough it up for McCough!</span><br />
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">“Lilly Free Drink”</span> <span style="font-size: large;">By Reggie McCough</span></span><br />
<em><span style="color: purple;"></span></em><br />
<blockquote><em><span style="color: purple;">Opening chorus</span></em><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">We’ll drink and drink and drink </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">up all the free drink and drink and drink</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">If they send us off to Shang-a-hai</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">For it’s another - Municipal Cock up </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Where the cost has - gone too high.</span></span><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Poor Warren Bradley - took it very badly</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">When he slid right down his po-oh-ole </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">For they invented - Municipal Cock ups</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">That’s why the Lib dems - lost Control</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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</div><span style="color: purple;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">The Daily Post has - writers who ghost as</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Editorials that are spin eh hin</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">But I think that - we know who’s behind it</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">And just who tells them - what goes in</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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</div><span style="color: purple;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">They said our pavilion – that’s cost three million </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Could make us fifty - in your dree e eams</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">But in ano-ther - Municipal cock-up</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">It’s just got Beatles - and Football teams</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple;"> <em>chorus</em></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">So - we’ll drink and drink and drink </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">up all the free drink and drink and drink</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">If they send us off to Shang-a-hai</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">For it’s another - Municipal Cock up </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Where the cost has - gone too high.</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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</div><span style="color: purple;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">For Liver-pool day - they want us to pay</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Three hundred grand, they must be nu-u-uts</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">While at the same time, the deficit budget</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Means that we’ll pay it - with job cuts.</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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</div><span style="color: purple;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Now isn’t it funny - how we run out of money</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">And we hear the - same old cry- i –y</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Yet we can pay out - 78 Million </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">To LDL who - bleed us dry</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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</div><span style="color: purple;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Roger Phillips - must see that this bill tips</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Common sense right over boar-or-oard</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">And this Expo folly - has cost too much lolly</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">That we really - can’t afford</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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</div><span style="color: purple;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">The Philharmonic - can fly back supersonic</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">When they offend them with their show –o -ow</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">For in another - Municipal cock-up</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">They’re playing Ying Tong - Diddle i Po</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Shanghai will be baffled - when they see the Scaffold</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">They’ll be asking - which one’s Pau-a-aul</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">They’ll say pull the other- that’s only his brother</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">And line us all up against the wall</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"> <em><span style="color: purple;">chorus</span></em></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">We’ll drink and drink and drink </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">up all the free drink and drink and drink</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">If you give more cash to Shang-a-hai</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">For it’s a Lib Dem - Municipal Cock up </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">The cost for you is - far too high.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sooooooo - weeeeeeeee’ll - </span><span style="font-size: large;">need a sodding drink </span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">‘Cos we’re on the brink the brink the brink </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Of death caused by - a thousand cu-u-uts </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Admit the Expo’s a Municipal Cock up</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: large;">And - show – us - that - yooooou’ve – got some guts.</span></div></div></blockquote><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ5Fcut9A1pSsatyEw-bLCjujH891DAHe62tCgy9waBW7L-U8-T38dDqMyw3Wdx2znYRmLmjXPmeuAtC4WyC3086Z3d6pNWm9E2cimqgVLYp3XFy5eVneXO9R1XwlxXGagFdcl3_eP0BI/s1600/ab29f_460-china-military_1000183c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" hw="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ5Fcut9A1pSsatyEw-bLCjujH891DAHe62tCgy9waBW7L-U8-T38dDqMyw3Wdx2znYRmLmjXPmeuAtC4WyC3086Z3d6pNWm9E2cimqgVLYp3XFy5eVneXO9R1XwlxXGagFdcl3_eP0BI/s400/ab29f_460-china-military_1000183c.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Well you can vote on the money or read more here. </strong></span><span style="font-size: large;"><strong></strong></span></div><strong><a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/index.asp?Sessionx=IpqiNwEjJHqkIwxnNwB6IaqiNwA">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/index.asp?Sessionx=IpqiNwEjJHqkIwxnNwB6IaqiNwA</a></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/index.asp?Sessionx=IpqiNwEiNw7kKWg6IHqiNwB6IA">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/index.asp?Sessionx=IpqiNwEiNw7kKWg6IHqiNwB6IA</a></strong><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Byeeeeeeeee !!!!!!</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Be Nice to each other.</div><br />
<span style="background-color: yellow; color: red; font-size: x-large;"><strong>STOP PRESS</strong></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Ahh well looks like they have now decided to pay the £300k and have the party. I knew they would. It is a no win situation at this stage I suppose. </span><span style="font-size: large;">It's still all the fault of the lib dems and spin merchants for getting us into this and the fault of those Big Businesses who have profited out of the Liverpool land grab and other get rich quick schemes but were not prepared to put anything into this jaunt.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The biggest joke is that the Lib Dems who started this whole thing and comitted the city to bankrolling a major part of it, whilst knowing the state of the finances, have called in the decision and are opposing the spend with a typical display of hypocrisy and political opportunism, saying the </span><span style="font-size: large;">money should not be spent. </span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Oh well I will shut up about it now as I can't side with those two faced gits.</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>So good luck to all the artists and musicians being sent over.</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Have a safe journey and I genuinely hope you have a good time.</strong> </span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now what shall I wear?</span></div><br />
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<br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"></div>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-2103694525948981682010-06-25T20:20:00.014+01:002010-06-28T20:48:20.747+01:00The Liverpool Show and The Shanghai Expo. New, modern, looking to the future, says Bessie Braddock at the Liverpool Pavilion (stand)<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">There’s a far away pavilion by the river in Shanghai</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">That they said would make our future rich and bright</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">A showcase to the world as our wonders we unfurled</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">And for three million quid we hoped they’d got it right.</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">We would show the world with pride </span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">the jewel in <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Merseyside</span></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">A forward-looking city standing tall</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;">Not dwelling on the past but moving on at last</span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-size: large;"></span></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"></span></div><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">Away from just the Beatles and football</span></strong>.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-m3cTq57nOxmaNWFOAHwFF7OJq0B7UwNQ0qTYstBYo7tiKgYc3N74P86mPBVu1tobf31nmVottOWLLpfVoPyBH3jPMpPMibLypcGreK9WU76pAgVeu4B9KXdgfRXLjt7BCM02djB_yYw/s1600/Chinese-Beatles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-m3cTq57nOxmaNWFOAHwFF7OJq0B7UwNQ0qTYstBYo7tiKgYc3N74P86mPBVu1tobf31nmVottOWLLpfVoPyBH3jPMpPMibLypcGreK9WU76pAgVeu4B9KXdgfRXLjt7BCM02djB_yYw/s640/Chinese-Beatles.jpg" width="619" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>By Jove Missus, it's me, back again.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>With one or two thousand words about the Shanghai Expo. I know you have been waiting for an update but when I returned, I got my hand stuck down a grid and when I rang the emergency services, they just put bollards and hazard lights around me. Left me there for months! Eventually I managed to pull the grid up but I can't get it off, so here I am back and still a bit drained. </strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Now Missus, remember the Liverpool Show? </strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The one in the Mystery (<span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Wavertree</span> Playground if you were posh) Well that’s a bit like the Shanghai Expo that’s been going on. You must remember the Liverpool show, the proper one, the one they used to have years ago, they always had the Army there with big guns, tanks and military vehicles - as displays I mean, not because people got a bit boisterous in the candy floss queue. </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><span style="font-size: large;">The highlight on each day of the show was when they did the raffle to find the person that had actually bought a ticket to get in. That’s right, remember we all used to sneak in climbing over the wooden temporary fences and dodge the coppers. I got caught on them a few times. Half the men walking round with no arse in their <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">kecks</span> and the women who had just climbed in, trying to look inconspicuous with their skirts still tucked in the back of their knickers. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNmX98CA7VdIsg3_mEABQg64kY9K7IP79PHc_fkHzj5_sXkvh7F6zFEAwMwFpD-ZfMB2mvvmwNkl3aBwWQi-yJqFN6t_U0oONPpUlPTp0s_qtGHqwRPT_PlR8sHh37a-6D67gFgJfcF-Q/s1600/Fat%2520Lady%2520with%2520Knickers%2520Showing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNmX98CA7VdIsg3_mEABQg64kY9K7IP79PHc_fkHzj5_sXkvh7F6zFEAwMwFpD-ZfMB2mvvmwNkl3aBwWQi-yJqFN6t_U0oONPpUlPTp0s_qtGHqwRPT_PlR8sHh37a-6D67gFgJfcF-Q/s320/Fat%2520Lady%2520with%2520Knickers%2520Showing.jpg" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">They had all sorts going on, Motor Cycle Display Riders, Show Jumping and the Red Devils? You must remember the Red Devils; they used to parachute into the arena. They were always scared to jump, I heard, and so the co-pilot used to set their shoes on fire. When they bent down to put them out, he’d boot them out the door. You could see the smoke as they were coming down. I mean fancy joining the parachute regiment if you are scared of heights. </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfpBpJq8EaHtsuQEXRu2Wcyh00rO5vGa_9Qa6vZrWqAsB_BK3pBj3vCVlVyYYyWjjKI5y6NBVtYRyjBOoaIVioak1AwdWm2P_J56INqni4mdZMeSFV4abng82BmBKMyXetYvCAga2sY3c/s1600/peta_todd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfpBpJq8EaHtsuQEXRu2Wcyh00rO5vGa_9Qa6vZrWqAsB_BK3pBj3vCVlVyYYyWjjKI5y6NBVtYRyjBOoaIVioak1AwdWm2P_J56INqni4mdZMeSFV4abng82BmBKMyXetYvCAga2sY3c/s320/peta_todd.jpg" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Mind you, during the war Mr Clack and I ended up as paratroopers, you see at that time they still used carrier pigeons to send messages and we read the notice wrong and thought they were looking for parrot ropers. I thought that’s better than being shot at. Take a nice packed lunch a bottle of pale ale each and spend the day walking around a nice forest with a net shouting c’mon Polly. </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYqNNqtAQt2ZgXdQTg84mLJxWIvCxMa8f5eUXDiiKdLuonCOXwV5moc5VWikFOTI3uq_DtGuTTKJCsvfw5uPXkM-Bc-IiAkw397Q86OUnprAspG1LXwekt2sjJTvfKYLmz8w_lWP5BDK8/s1600/article-1190239-052DF040000005DC-541_468x334.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYqNNqtAQt2ZgXdQTg84mLJxWIvCxMa8f5eUXDiiKdLuonCOXwV5moc5VWikFOTI3uq_DtGuTTKJCsvfw5uPXkM-Bc-IiAkw397Q86OUnprAspG1LXwekt2sjJTvfKYLmz8w_lWP5BDK8/s320/article-1190239-052DF040000005DC-541_468x334.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">Well it was an easy mistake, I mean Parrots would be more suited to the campaign in the east than pigeons, and you wouldn’t have to write out the message as they can talk, you just tell them what to say. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Anyway, when we realised our mistake we soon started the training. It turned out being a paratrooper wasn’t too bad after all as you only had to jump off a wooden horse while counting. Well I took a chair to step onto, but I knew the counting bit off by heart. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Then one day, to say well done to everyone, they took us by plane for a weekend break in France. I was just looking for my <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">seatbelt</span> as they said we were about to arrive and this mad bugger opened the door and a few people started jumping out. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">We got a shock at first but then Clack and I realised and gave the pilot a round of applause. It must have been the smoothest landing ever. You would swear we were still flying. So we got our flight bags and magazines, made sure we had our holiday money safe 100 Francs each and headed for the exit. It was very windy and so foggy that we couldn’t even see the steps. Next thing we knew, we woke up in a field in need of a change of trousers and surrounded by Germans having their dinner. Luckily I had my accordion on my back, yes I know a parachute would have been better but I had too much to carry and anyway I immediately launched into <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Lili</span> Marlene and Clack started playing the spoons. Saved us, so it did. They thought we were a concert party. Three months we entertained them until they threatened to shoot us. Me finishing every night singing:</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><em><span style="font-size: large;">"<span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Fröhlichkeit</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Fröhlichkeit</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">das</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">größte</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Geschenk</span>, <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">das</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ich</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">besitze</span>. <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Ich</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">danke</span> den <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Herrn</span>, <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">dass</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ich</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">habe</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">gesegnet</span>. <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Mit</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">mehr</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">als</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">meinen</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Anteil</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">des</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Fröhlichkeit</span>"</span></em></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh60gokMbKsgEblbUQyHuYMxryqB-aEhcG3rHyts6zMjd7U_1225pGgzArOfj5PA7znjT9_37HWU3DyFpRpcakM0b5zhBfYZenQkkUiXzLPBaI3kMWQmu0PGrLT9A6Llvhk1JxohPjM1fU/s1600/250px-Rudolf_Hess_at_Nuremberg_prison.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh60gokMbKsgEblbUQyHuYMxryqB-aEhcG3rHyts6zMjd7U_1225pGgzArOfj5PA7znjT9_37HWU3DyFpRpcakM0b5zhBfYZenQkkUiXzLPBaI3kMWQmu0PGrLT9A6Llvhk1JxohPjM1fU/s320/250px-Rudolf_Hess_at_Nuremberg_prison.jpg" width="282" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">It wasn’t the last time I sang “Happiness” for a German audience, I’ve told you before about my one-man show in Germany, the one in <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Spandau</span>. A mix up in the booking and the one man was Rudolph Hess. Miserable bugger, he was. To try and raise a smile, I changed the lyric to Happy Hess but they had to restrain him and carry him back to the cell.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Anyway that’s another story. I was talking about the Liverpool Show….wasn’t I…hang on, I’ll check back..</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes, they had all sorts of stalls and exhibitions, you could have a fight in the evangelist tent, see all sorts of crafts and displays. And there were odd-looking ladies or blokes with a funny accent demonstrating food mixers. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There was always some bastard juggling as well. I hate people juggling in front of me, coming right up to your face with their gobs open as if it's astounding. Sod off! I fixed them one year, I borrowed some grenades off one of the army blokes and said, here juggle these while I try and find the pins. </span><br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;">What’s the point of jugglers? It’s just showing off. But showing off was what the Liverpool Show was all about. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>And showing off Liverpool was the aim of the Shanghai Expo. </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>A chance, they told us, to display Liverpool to the world. </strong></span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Chinese were very pleased to have us and even made a scale model of ex city council leader, Wally <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Bradlow</span> to use as the official mascot. A blue one as well, because he supports <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Everton</span>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The mascot is called "Ego" in Chinese, which means Wally.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCy9nXZfjUljKDpAuN_TlFfnqpN5QpQkVRbSDzGMjC8afIiWkls8Bf4mam_mC_-e88PstDcuM1Ofgu84eVBrIfRGhQXPt7TF0u-vdBDDdtCQeUaYNOWvs5BpUDmcKOwRar204h9jnDyj8/s1600/18824.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCy9nXZfjUljKDpAuN_TlFfnqpN5QpQkVRbSDzGMjC8afIiWkls8Bf4mam_mC_-e88PstDcuM1Ofgu84eVBrIfRGhQXPt7TF0u-vdBDDdtCQeUaYNOWvs5BpUDmcKOwRar204h9jnDyj8/s640/18824.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: blue;">An inflated Ego, full of hot <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">air</span></span></strong></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="font-size: large;">So there we were, on display to the world. The only thing is that a lot of the world decided they couldn’t be bothered to show up, nor could any of the other cities in England. So it is just us and of course the thousands of bewildered Chinese people passing through…well maybe not thousands and not regularly passing through exactly, the estimates were a bit wrong and, as it turned out, our pavilion was on the other side of the river to the main Expo. Oh and it wasn’t a Pavilion, it was a stand....in the corner…basically it was some odd looking woman or a bloke with a funny accent demonstrating a food mixer. Well not far off. </span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The idea they said was to show the world the new regenerated vibrant Liverpool, as a place to do business. A modern thriving city looking to the future, with great things to offer investors.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong>To show once and for all that Liverpool was a great modern premiere European city with far more to offer than the tired old <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">clichés</span> of football and the Beatles.</strong></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhni2opxEndZsRCi26THWV5n3gjyJ0t2uu-hEIZAKx5RMit_hdrtBA8okSvDya-8VXqrO9-kvOCQiS6p7LAA_DF_Shzf5E-W86Xur4d8wZWuRqLu5ZQMIHpagc9tyFDkSXENw26H7S3X3M/s1600/macca.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhni2opxEndZsRCi26THWV5n3gjyJ0t2uu-hEIZAKx5RMit_hdrtBA8okSvDya-8VXqrO9-kvOCQiS6p7LAA_DF_Shzf5E-W86Xur4d8wZWuRqLu5ZQMIHpagc9tyFDkSXENw26H7S3X3M/s320/macca.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>So, as the giant video screen showing a film of Paul McCartney making rude gestures with his thumbs,</strong> welcomed the Chinese people that had got lost and ended up on the wrong side of the river our Expo began.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">They crowded around the the wallpaper paste table and deck chairs that was the Liverpool stand and gazed in awe at how much the city had to offer. This was </span><span style="font-size: large;">depicted in the giant murals of John Paul George and Ringo, interspersed with photos of <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Googie</span> the Liverpool Duck, Liverpool and <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Everton</span> football players. There is even a complete wall sized portrait of Liverpool FC with <strong>Bill Shankly</strong> in the middle! All of this and the sound of the <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Kop</span> singing “F*** off back to America” to a tune sounding similar to one from West Side Story. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>My word! There's modern forward looking Liverpool. The entire stand almost 30 years out of date. Precious memories to many of us maybe, but a selling point to Chinese investors? </strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Where were the Diddymen?</strong> <strong>Where was Arthur Askey?</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But that’s not all, to get away from the football theme there is also........er..... a penalty shot game. This is where China’s top businessmen and politicians can try and kick a football into a net. The Daily Post said this was one of the highlights for all of the businessmen visiting the stand, who really enjoyed it. Yes, I am sure they did. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There was something similar at the <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Wirral</span> Kite festival the other week. Get the ball passed the goalie for 25 pence a go, helping to raise money for kids who need specs. Odd but I didn’t notice the chairman of the <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">CBI</span> or Sir Alan Sugar or the Chief Executive of Peel Holdings jostling to have a go. You would have thought the bloke from Peel holdings would have flown in from his tax exile home to have a go at that. Only 25p which is a hell of a lot cheaper than having to fly all the way to Shanghai.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg80MpJBvu2_I9Ub-jTAZRnBOO1w21n7rjbCgjfoQ3Go1Hf58Z636Q054Q_6GP43PiF_mv_AIo5H8yOXIAZ-vwj2sql3oE3hyphenhyphenjhrJr0Da0A9hopQrCgdLQnRyhYniemXX_1pXnb-5E-oc0/s1600/Beijing_Folk_Custom11b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg80MpJBvu2_I9Ub-jTAZRnBOO1w21n7rjbCgjfoQ3Go1Hf58Z636Q054Q_6GP43PiF_mv_AIo5H8yOXIAZ-vwj2sql3oE3hyphenhyphenjhrJr0Da0A9hopQrCgdLQnRyhYniemXX_1pXnb-5E-oc0/s400/Beijing_Folk_Custom11b.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"> <strong><span style="color: blue;">"</span><span style="color: blue;">On me head son!"</span></strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So they tell us it has been a huge success, even though something like only a <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">fifth</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"> of the predicted numbers have visited the stand and that it wasn’t actually a business Expo at all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It hasn’t been without controversy though, as they have now run out of money and the planned finale (Liverpool Day -whatever that means?) which involved flying out <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Cilla</span> ,<span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Tarby</span>, Jerry <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Marsden</span> and the Luciana <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Bergers</span> as well as my good friend <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Vassapoint</span> <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Petrochemco</span> and his Orchestra, may have to be cancelled. They said they were about £400k short, with not even enough to buy the packet of sparklers for the closing ceremony.</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju6znSBYWUeQXtgfBsX38GKqgLB2wsdxcGoslvCLH31x862aExdKZz6jbr30ApjZKW5AYJCUTuKGB73Sxoil4qi6YvhuNwD9fTHmpFrVEPtUpUYKQbTVi2pMWE7eSH6Gi24u5LRW1xClo/s1600/shanghai_expo2010_mascot_haibao_statues_promoting_the_event_are_placed_around_liverpool_pictured_davi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju6znSBYWUeQXtgfBsX38GKqgLB2wsdxcGoslvCLH31x862aExdKZz6jbr30ApjZKW5AYJCUTuKGB73Sxoil4qi6YvhuNwD9fTHmpFrVEPtUpUYKQbTVi2pMWE7eSH6Gi24u5LRW1xClo/s640/shanghai_expo2010_mascot_haibao_statues_promoting_the_event_are_placed_around_liverpool_pictured_davi.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">Come on soft lad, you've a council meeting to go to</span></strong></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span style="font-size: large;">But not to worry, it has been fantastic. Well worth the £3 million quid. Now I know it sounds a lot but ex council bleeder…er leader, Wally <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Bradlow</span> and ex Chief Executive, Hilton Stilton, ensured that there were accurate financial forecasts showing the returns on this investment. And by Jove we will thank them for it in the future. You see it has been shown that for our £3 million pounds, which is nothing financially these days, we spent more than that paying off <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Henshaw</span>, <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Halsall</span>, Robin Archer and Jason <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Harbottle</span>. Dr <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">McAllmoney</span> costs us twice that a month £6.5 million for putting people on hold at Liverpool Direct while they take the priority calls from Leicester or somewhere, to come and put a plug on a bath or fumigate a chicken coup. While we pay for their time Ha ha! Mind you he's now temporarily replaced Hilton Stilton. I doubt he'll complain about the £78 million a year he was raking in for LDL.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVLS_CiCGcG8r2M8cRQfyexAbVBXHk-LLi5c4eKzyreiT4qOc6ct9Orzk69HvVcAhXHen2ICYqUXmOC7IqX1BPD9uVjGs097FyOC2tb2A2-So3V3o3awv1zYLuyBTIAPPHIzN6qmeCIzE/s1600/0013729e45180bb513c507.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVLS_CiCGcG8r2M8cRQfyexAbVBXHk-LLi5c4eKzyreiT4qOc6ct9Orzk69HvVcAhXHen2ICYqUXmOC7IqX1BPD9uVjGs097FyOC2tb2A2-So3V3o3awv1zYLuyBTIAPPHIzN6qmeCIzE/s320/0013729e45180bb513c507.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;">"Just look at where we were 10 years ago, where are we?"</span></strong></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">You see the thing is, that for our three million pounds spent, the financial experts used by the council, confidently predicted a return of up to four and anything up fifty million pounds of investment back over the next ten years. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Now before the cynics start, yes there is a bit of a gap between four million and fifty million, and the phrase “up to four” clearly includes the figure Zero. Well you have to allow for a margin of error. Or should that be huge, gaping - can't see the other side, pass us your binoculars..better still your crystal ball - chasm of error? So who were the experts giving this predicted return? Russel Grant? Mystic Meg?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But don’t worry, all those who flew off regularly to Shanghai to be wined and dined while setting this up and agreeing to pay for it have either already left, been kicked out of office or will be leaving soon, so they won’t need to explain. They’ll be fine don’t worry about it. </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiLdsOI5mGtVyYAmDsMIaLS-SlQCZKjAgR22hRCaQ_t8Aro_zwlQQLXRx-KNiQvmTfHGaW7MKzDeIgRTh43E_50KjuU0RMNWWmoxlQ1NsEJD2rlmN_-Ccj_8A-Z8cmrKFv4Lf3UaDqo8U/s1600/00020862.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="458" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiLdsOI5mGtVyYAmDsMIaLS-SlQCZKjAgR22hRCaQ_t8Aro_zwlQQLXRx-KNiQvmTfHGaW7MKzDeIgRTh43E_50KjuU0RMNWWmoxlQ1NsEJD2rlmN_-Ccj_8A-Z8cmrKFv4Lf3UaDqo8U/s640/00020862.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="color: blue;">Almost unbearable excitement during the planning <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">meetings</span></span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">As we were stuck with it, the new bloke in charge, Joe Handyman, has had to keep the spin going. Once it’s over it’ll be forgotten about. And don’t forget, some people have already done very well out of it, the ones who got the PR contract and of course the <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Oldham</span> Echo and Daily Post, who haven’t had to come into work for months as all the stories have been written for them. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So as far as I am concerned let us raise our glasses high to the Shanghai Expo, where once again the glorious leadership decisions of the previous Glib <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Dum</span> administration has been <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Expo'd</span>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">A special thank you to the kind and good people of Shanghai for smiling politely and kicking the ball in the net when prevented from leaving the stand by the city council staff until they did it.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1mC6wg4HW-H9bzQ-LLW4RpmAJyckeSnIjKfTEyT3UuTvv8273Q5GO3L132bxh9UzJjWVV9dic-iVL97cwMuLF3aKqcMn7kCWRdjlLkGSq_OWo0tZn9QmuKgjItybE9sBh0CkOGn_oETM/s1600/ist2_2261978-angry-man-mad-soccer-player.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1mC6wg4HW-H9bzQ-LLW4RpmAJyckeSnIjKfTEyT3UuTvv8273Q5GO3L132bxh9UzJjWVV9dic-iVL97cwMuLF3aKqcMn7kCWRdjlLkGSq_OWo0tZn9QmuKgjItybE9sBh0CkOGn_oETM/s400/ist2_2261978-angry-man-mad-soccer-player.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> <strong><span style="color: blue;">Just kick the f***<span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ing</span> ball will ya mate!!!</span></strong></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Meanwhile back in Grotty Cash, Liverpool, it's all change here now down at the fun palace. The Lib Dums have been binned. I am going to miss Wally <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Bradlow</span>. I wonder if he is on <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Bookface</span>? I am sure his new friend is. I’ll have to check as I haven’t been on for a while, not since this group on there started calling for me to be sacked. You see I got into a bit of trouble after I put an advert on <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Ebay</span> to try and flog some awful, tatty old garden gnomes that we had in the garage. But I accidentally uploaded a picture of the former Lib Dem cabinet instead. </span></span><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoDa9MObkicKBN-Bli23oR55CUNMZB0WT5I1NdzgiwbhL-qNIL0bBc-bwxo1rWKJnhGVWzz1A1hwl8tmGvJ_twYab58PgrYln1IK3O1jwdBj8cjgBy0N1-1BDfpvMXKtPnLjE2dg4kJgk/s1600/gnomes-garden-group.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="361" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoDa9MObkicKBN-Bli23oR55CUNMZB0WT5I1NdzgiwbhL-qNIL0bBc-bwxo1rWKJnhGVWzz1A1hwl8tmGvJ_twYab58PgrYln1IK3O1jwdBj8cjgBy0N1-1BDfpvMXKtPnLjE2dg4kJgk/s400/gnomes-garden-group.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"> <strong><span style="color: blue;"><span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Ebay</span>. No longer wanted. Liverpool Lib <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Dems</span>, any offers?</span></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The Gnomes society was furious. I got Mrs C to say it wasn’t me and that the matter was now closed but the swines on <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Ebay</span> said it was me that did it, so now she’s furious with me as well. She says I’ve made her look a complete lying pillock. I am beginning to think she only ever went out with me was because I was head of the Jam Faculty at Grotty Cash University and now that I have lost my faculties she doesn’t want to know. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">But thank goodness that after being kicked out in May by the electorate the Lib <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Dums</span> voted by a huge majority of three votes (two being him and his friend) to keep Wally on as local party leader. Well we need something to cheer us up now that his party has given power to those who almost destroyed the city the last time they were in office. So with the Conservatives in power and ready to slash the money going to Liverpool, all thanks to the support of Clegg and the Con-Democ-Rats it could well be back to Geoffrey Howe's managed decline. It's a good job Wally has a hotline to Clegg to protect us from the savage cuts...oh, but then again it's Clegg helping to make them. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBqOJmX23fDwbJYjWtkDsZXu_2RGYNFMkpmP92rVktiMBPepomCgs82UgvSqO91d7eUssX56Qwz916MYcgCmeNJfnV9M5GJ4oorBvQJuNGckktVtXS41SeiE7Zf2gOIad7clo_ToJuQTo/s1600/image-9-for-gallery-superlambananas-return-to-liverpool-69646327.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="464" ru="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBqOJmX23fDwbJYjWtkDsZXu_2RGYNFMkpmP92rVktiMBPepomCgs82UgvSqO91d7eUssX56Qwz916MYcgCmeNJfnV9M5GJ4oorBvQJuNGckktVtXS41SeiE7Zf2gOIad7clo_ToJuQTo/s640/image-9-for-gallery-superlambananas-return-to-liverpool-69646327.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-size: large;"><strong>The Great Nana!</strong></span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now, where’s me Beatles tape, I am going to listen to that on my Walkman on the way to Mr Clack’s to watch the football. </span></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span></div><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Bye</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Be nice to each other.</span><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-81709788983587644072010-02-22T23:17:00.003+00:002010-10-17T23:16:33.703+01:00Not all the Rats have left the sinking ship. And one is setting a cat amongst the pigeon droppings.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPT6pd9a-C_3g1dVOymf9BdZfSOYx5FK-Zb6grHlAIrV-vXih9O05qAGpdbO7fEQYFDrcTATkwXfiAuSYFVc7FE4QUWsKt66JEtLWeZiwVIpOVxwxcfSVERQFHir3QSNVDnHd3wpLi65o/s1600-h/Banksy+Cat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ct="true" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPT6pd9a-C_3g1dVOymf9BdZfSOYx5FK-Zb6grHlAIrV-vXih9O05qAGpdbO7fEQYFDrcTATkwXfiAuSYFVc7FE4QUWsKt66JEtLWeZiwVIpOVxwxcfSVERQFHir3QSNVDnHd3wpLi65o/s640/Banksy+Cat.jpg" width="433" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">By jove Missus, where's the Pie Eyed Piper when you need him? Well he can't get pie eyed on his rounds these days, because half the pubs have shut down since the "Nanny State" imposed the drinking ban in pubs. That's why we now have to stand outside having a fag instead.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But we could do with him at the moment, to sort out the rat problem in Liverpool. No not Wally Bradlow and his crew, they'll soon be deserting the sinking ship anyway. I am talking about the Rat that is due to be exterminated, the one on the side of the Whitehouse Pub.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Grafitti Artist known as Banksy was allegedly commissioned to do this in 2004. Well that's what they say, but my good friend Mr Wayne Colquittstreet (check before publishing, I can never remember how to spell his second name) on his always interesting blog, <strong>Liverpool Preservatives Trust</strong> has a very differing opinion.</span> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://liverpoolpreservationtrust.blogspot.com/2010/02/whitehouse-pub-is-it-really-banksy.html"><span style="font-size: large;">http://liverpoolpreservationtrust.blogspot.com/2010/02/whitehouse-pub-is-it-really-banksy.html</span></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Anyway, my view is that I couldn't care less if it's an authentic Bankslip or not. The real issue is that all these people keep calling the painting a Rat when in fact it is a CAT as any fool can see. I asked Wally Bradlow the leader of the council what it was up there, and quick as a flash, he shinned up the drainpipe trying to rescue it. I rest my case.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">This may be a trivial issue, rat or cat, but there are far more qualified people than me out there who can take up the other issues about the detruction and dereliction of our historic landmarks, where anything goes so long as it delivers one of four things. Skyscraper, Carbuncle, Luxury Apartment or yet another hotel. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">No vision, no strategy no sustainability. That's why the council is about to ban the use of those three words. It's another cover up. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I shall leave that to the others to debate. I am not one to offer an opinion or shove my nose in where it's not wanted. I am a man of few words. Most of them already banned by the council.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">So with the help of my good friend and local poet Reggie McCough,</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">who must have helped Banksy get up there to paint it as he said he used to be with the scaffold, I have instead concentrated on the argument as to whether the SouthBanksy painting is a Rat or a Cat. </span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">By me, Professor Waffle Chickenbatter....what's happened to my spillcheck?</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA8L1Pa2gdW3-458LjHMn-snq8JyjQoUC_hWRq3_yU2fbZ50iW3t_IBjQG_TlYCExpm7Pv86L-OmEg5R_54Oswx79qbk6vLgddcHhvrn6KFF9Qfv02UcEObb0vVOP_AHi8SpHKuPtbMxs/s1600/Banksy2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA8L1Pa2gdW3-458LjHMn-snq8JyjQoUC_hWRq3_yU2fbZ50iW3t_IBjQG_TlYCExpm7Pv86L-OmEg5R_54Oswx79qbk6vLgddcHhvrn6KFF9Qfv02UcEObb0vVOP_AHi8SpHKuPtbMxs/s320/Banksy2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong>Catatouille</strong></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">By Reggie McCough (and me)</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">The Whitehouse pub in Liverpool has recently been sold</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Complete with work by Banksy, of a Rat we have been told</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">There may be rats inside but on the outside wall of fame</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">It looks like a Felis Cattus, to give the Latin name.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Don’t say to me look at the tail to try and make your case</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">that it’s Roland Rat when clearly it is Bagpuss round the face</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Even if it’s meant to be, don’t take me for a fool </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">You’ve done a cat and that is that, go back to drawing school.</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZRkePvVH7MNxH7rgnqgSOLdNtWpUXJ_FZKNkpfsQyhv7t9BWmPRdpL_Jkz5ByBajxV9mJ5R1xmZ1szR3vwJpT4TWob_oehH1uXjTIxlajzYqpcSq2qc_D9dyzZU450W_5qk4YDfnZTuA/s1600/bagpuss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZRkePvVH7MNxH7rgnqgSOLdNtWpUXJ_FZKNkpfsQyhv7t9BWmPRdpL_Jkz5ByBajxV9mJ5R1xmZ1szR3vwJpT4TWob_oehH1uXjTIxlajzYqpcSq2qc_D9dyzZU450W_5qk4YDfnZTuA/s1600/bagpuss.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">The name should match the subject even if it’s just a blob</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">You wouldn’t call Epstein's Kiss “Gorillas On The Job”.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Or Mona Lisa “Gurning With a Cheeky Randy Grin”</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">as Da Vinci said, give me the look like you’ve got the love eggs in.</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">The “Laughing Vauxhall Vectra” can’t replace a Cavalier</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Whistler’s “Dad In Drag” has not the warmth of Mother Dear.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Or, “Woman With Her Kit Off Standing In A Giant Scallop?”</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Botticelli’s Birth of Venus makes her much less of a trollop.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc-9Ys3fZSxMK8hlWu-I38MXwDpq0dE5aL37sO5uxnTGxoirMrL7w1m3hwzO4S3xI18hIGeNRIsKnVk7y6MyrByFa9xfjUMnvJztAVZIontqzEYa6BpvQALK7Qtz7FTt2KAv8erxbuiOg/s1600/botticelli_birth_venus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc-9Ys3fZSxMK8hlWu-I38MXwDpq0dE5aL37sO5uxnTGxoirMrL7w1m3hwzO4S3xI18hIGeNRIsKnVk7y6MyrByFa9xfjUMnvJztAVZIontqzEYa6BpvQALK7Qtz7FTt2KAv8erxbuiOg/s320/botticelli_birth_venus.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Scallops</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Michaelangelo’s Last Supper, well you really wouldn’t hurry</span> <br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">to see it if the name was “Lads, Let’s All Go For A Curry.”</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Van gogh’s famous Sunflowers? They'd surely raise some laughs</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">If they had gone to auction, labelled as a bunch of daffs.</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">And what of old Picasso,would his talent have been missed</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">If his paintings were of Katy, The Oxo Cube cubist? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">So is this a case of The Emperors Clothes with people scared to say</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">They t’ought they taw a puddytat when it saw the light of day?</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"></span> <br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2pVBGZP4r5NPCs23qp4pIt03R3rRY4xsPMTUCM8iciM_n56Tx-nBbYbvwBv7oHbj8LO5g1IXO-T4yq6bW05v3wA1hWZkYKxoorAkPkqMF6amyEoBXIvEqQJ1qA6ZQrCsJBB9qpHVRsLQ/s1600/oxo-tin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2pVBGZP4r5NPCs23qp4pIt03R3rRY4xsPMTUCM8iciM_n56Tx-nBbYbvwBv7oHbj8LO5g1IXO-T4yq6bW05v3wA1hWZkYKxoorAkPkqMF6amyEoBXIvEqQJ1qA6ZQrCsJBB9qpHVRsLQ/s320/oxo-tin.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picasserole</td></tr>
</tbody></table> <br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Now it seems it’s called a Rat, that’s what it’s meant to be</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Well call it what you want mate, I know what I can see.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">It’s a cat and not a rat that adorns the old Whitehouse.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Look at it, admit it, what are you, a man or a mouse? </span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi15ew5wN4A_fk-AkLfGtjLHPxwL2qPE7hKayhGC2psf2gkktgM9fg1vQXvu8xmxu3li5RCaoxCfw6HM4ZAWtUcjzvT3K2psZbcIEam9vnhlGdZKawnrVj8v4nMjdIAbgzd9Nq5ZtTFYqk/s1600/topcat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi15ew5wN4A_fk-AkLfGtjLHPxwL2qPE7hKayhGC2psf2gkktgM9fg1vQXvu8xmxu3li5RCaoxCfw6HM4ZAWtUcjzvT3K2psZbcIEam9vnhlGdZKawnrVj8v4nMjdIAbgzd9Nq5ZtTFYqk/s400/topcat.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>First published on Liverpool Confidential.</strong></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/index.asp?Sessionx=IpqiNw86IWxnJHqiNwF6IHqi"><span style="font-size: large;">http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/index.asp?Sessionx=IpqiNw86IWxnJHqiNwF6IHqi</span></a></div><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">A very Tatty Buy everybody Catty bye!</span></strong><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQK_b3wqVNCLh9yWAx5UM0IY93IHsTz26vshjqcdRlmIN0sKG1gP-tq4ejfSDTbGiuRvhzwxsahek2XEIKw6fPXGLA4YrNDKijRuJRYqApa5O-M51ZKf5L-VWwdIrnvIfmjFZ3o4gG_Ds/s1600-h/On_Rat_phone_photo_250.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ct="true" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQK_b3wqVNCLh9yWAx5UM0IY93IHsTz26vshjqcdRlmIN0sKG1gP-tq4ejfSDTbGiuRvhzwxsahek2XEIKw6fPXGLA4YrNDKijRuJRYqApa5O-M51ZKf5L-VWwdIrnvIfmjFZ3o4gG_Ds/s320/On_Rat_phone_photo_250.bmp" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><strong>Hello is that Liverpool City Council, got any historic buildings you want knocking down? Yaaaaay!</strong></div><br />
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</div>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-57720931680267710062009-11-22T22:42:00.015+00:002009-11-23T23:04:21.014+00:00A Day At The Races, for Hilton Stilton and major boost to the Lord Mayors Charity<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">Grotty Cash Executive Prepare Strategy for Next Weeks Crucial Finance Meeting</span></strong><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwELwUOvknUWEEPYwf7KWfu6jUbRwxHnCgHN_DxWIhl_yeGn9sS0wWH9-h0k9qbqiJ0X5Xtv7QM3gpy7PTwRhDbVosFt4SHvqHwXYOh_2IUsuo9X57fvC_Lv83JfVW_0ij469NumHbszc/s1600/Stilton+Strategy+for+City.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwELwUOvknUWEEPYwf7KWfu6jUbRwxHnCgHN_DxWIhl_yeGn9sS0wWH9-h0k9qbqiJ0X5Xtv7QM3gpy7PTwRhDbVosFt4SHvqHwXYOh_2IUsuo9X57fvC_Lv83JfVW_0ij469NumHbszc/s640/Stilton+Strategy+for+City.jpg" yr="true" /></a><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">By Jove Missus, it's political corruptives</span></strong><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-large;"> gone mad!</span></strong> </span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Can't you have a bit of fun on the rates these days without people having a go at you? I am referring to a recent disgraceful attack on my very good friend and Town Clerk for Grotty Cash, Mr Hilton Stilton and his expenses management team. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Yes it's that Stinky Ink Bartlets, from the Oldham Gazette, up to his old tricks again.</span><br />
<a href="http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/liverpool-news/regional-news/2009/11/11/liverpool-city-council-officials-make-charity-donations-after-hospitality-inquiry-92534-25138983/">http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/liverpool-news/regional-news/2009/11/11/liverpool-city-council-officials-make-charity-donations-after-hospitality-inquiry-92534-25138983/</a><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguu2wK_bR0Z3hc9Wpudby_VR6sA9QBXuaSm8lKIkyJKvs9rRJkK_SrydApFxQmjAfMZW62_K3J937aFWofnM7jCzAtuA7ceKFc-U-TtO3u4rSEVgrHoTH726jpia9kJGpfF_qro0ii5EU/s1600/Colin+Hilton+Liverpool.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguu2wK_bR0Z3hc9Wpudby_VR6sA9QBXuaSm8lKIkyJKvs9rRJkK_SrydApFxQmjAfMZW62_K3J937aFWofnM7jCzAtuA7ceKFc-U-TtO3u4rSEVgrHoTH726jpia9kJGpfF_qro0ii5EU/s320/Colin+Hilton+Liverpool.jpg" yr="true" /></a><span style="font-size: large;">Poor Mr Stilton is a very polite man and if people are kind enough to send him 9,000 free invitations to Race Meetings, sporting events, concerts, dinners and Bingo Gala nights, well he is far too polite to refuse. But you can't have a go at the man for that - he can't go to them all for heavens sake - so what if he said no to six of them? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">He can't be everywhere at once! How can you possibly get from the 2.15 at Chepstow to the the 2.30 at Newmarket, it's ridiculous. And then if you have to rush home and rinse through a pair of clean knickers ready to throw at Tom Jones during the concert at 8.00pm the same night, the poor man would be worn out.</span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/liverpool-news/regional-news/2009/11/11/days-out-at-the-races-and-the-echo-arena-for-top-liverpool-council-officials-92534-25138982/">http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/liverpool-news/regional-news/2009/11/11/days-out-at-the-races-and-the-echo-arena-for-top-liverpool-council-officials-92534-25138982/</a><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But let me tell you this missus, at every free dinner he attends, there is a little doggy bag under the table for his loyal staff. He fills it up after every meal. All the gravy goes to his management team and over a thousand of his other staff may get the chop.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/liverpool-news/regional-news/2009/11/12/1-000-liverpool-city-council-jobs-face-axe-92534-25148804/">http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/liverpool-news/regional-news/2009/11/12/1-000-liverpool-city-council-jobs-face-axe-92534-25148804/</a><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But he has been trying to save his money, just in case Cameron gets in, so of course he's going to grab as many free outings as he can - it makes sense! But oh no, the local Rag and Bones man, who looks after the accounts, Harry H. Corbett, has kicked up a fuss telling them all to make a quick bung to the Lord Mayors Charity, otherwise it doesn't look good. "City in financial ruin, millions of pounds shortfall and you're at the race track every couple of days" he said. </span><span style="font-size: large;">..Hmmm put it like that and I suppose it would start the gossips. </span><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I gave a few quid to the Lord Mayors Charity myself but somebody said that part of the money was being used to buy Mayor Jackastorey a new bucket of gravel and a packet of lard for his hair. </span><span style="font-size: large;">Probably that Richard Kempton-Park told me. </span><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">But anyway Missus, don't believe these gossip mongers, I can assure you that Mr Stilton is a gentleman and a dollar..I mean scholar. As soon as he heard that it all looked dodgy, he and his friends in the private box at the Philharmonic, without any provocation, hint or suggestion, imediately made donations to the Lord Mayors Charity as soon as Corbett told them to. Although actually I suppose we did, since we pay their salary. </span><br />
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</span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Never mind, as far as I'm concerned, Mr Stilton works damned hard for this city and is rewarded with a pittance of only £230,000 per year plus 20% performance related pay (even that depends upon how many performances he's been to that week) </span><span style="font-size: large;">So if anyone thinks he just spends his days at the races before heading off to watch Morrisey from Wet Wet Wet at the Arena, and then going for a free nosh-up, I have put together this brief documentary that shows it's not all freebies and perks. </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-OVHQWIDbBR6lzTmBNm6SUuTzHtH7FZM6TAJg1HLEGrx6EfoI8bH0pjIJI75SRGWlbzr13-iE2NGvBAFKRNwENg51KGdfT3JdtGUGvI1US39hJSndY1JopVZVjTces19PDG_6pO9dVRY/s1600/Sir+David+Henshaw+nasty+little+shit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-OVHQWIDbBR6lzTmBNm6SUuTzHtH7FZM6TAJg1HLEGrx6EfoI8bH0pjIJI75SRGWlbzr13-iE2NGvBAFKRNwENg51KGdfT3JdtGUGvI1US39hJSndY1JopVZVjTces19PDG_6pO9dVRY/s200/Sir+David+Henshaw+nasty+little+shit.jpg" yr="true" /></a><br />
</div><span style="font-size: large;">This covers just one busy week in the life of the man who had to squeeze into the tiny shoes of the Evil Sir Diddy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So in the documentary posted below, we follow Mr Stilton, during just an average week in Grotty Cash. Amongst other things you will see him preparing for Cabinet meetings, opening events, giving speeches and presentations, trying to get a meeting with the Fireman and council leader Wally Bradlow, working on the budget, looking into the new docks development, rallying support for and testing out one of the proposed Tram systems before finally having a moment to quickly wash and brush-up in Misadventure Place, courtesy of the local doctor. A man simply trying to get on with the job.</span><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">HILTON STILTON; A WEEK IN THE LIFE</span></strong><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>More news to Come.</strong></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">I'll be back soon with a full report into the 4,000 </span></strong><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>dodgy Etch a Sketch devices that Liverpool Direct tried to pass off as Laptops to Grotty Cash Council at an annual cost of £78,000,000.</strong> </span><br />
<a href="http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/liverpool-news/regional-news/2009/11/20/liverpool-to-replace-4-000-out-of-date-computers-92534-25211490/">http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/liverpool-news/regional-news/2009/11/20/liverpool-to-replace-4-000-out-of-date-computers-92534-25211490/</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">A furious Councillor Richard Clamp has finally spoken out against this madness and laid the blame for his disasterous handling of the Boot Estate, squarely on the poor IT equipment he was forced to use when masterminding the development strategy.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioJABn4MiDUip9D66IpUfNjRJWGZCNUQIGYVtyJcADotlCVQORbOEjcTyuHcbeFMGkhC8qrSL9noyvuSvYU4yt_7fnx2hEAS5neVavKJPi1_YSdw5vkg_cdQ4QJktA6goRlGahO_t9q24/s1600/flair-classic-etch-a-sketch-the-worlds-favourite-drawing-toy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioJABn4MiDUip9D66IpUfNjRJWGZCNUQIGYVtyJcADotlCVQORbOEjcTyuHcbeFMGkhC8qrSL9noyvuSvYU4yt_7fnx2hEAS5neVavKJPi1_YSdw5vkg_cdQ4QJktA6goRlGahO_t9q24/s400/flair-classic-etch-a-sketch-the-worlds-favourite-drawing-toy.jpg" yr="true" /></a><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">LDL Laptop £3,000 cost plus £2,000 compulsory </span></strong><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">annual maintenance charge</span></strong><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaj8TDIK0s7_ttkXIGnKe0ayYgcM53VsUojjRHiZD_BXSS7R67QzLnCg9J_d6ZNhbUa9hGmIn418WcZKSXCLFltaUmFzbX3JtyJH1hjT68PNtU04OFbu_y2gP05f97GRwifHc_9QneJYc/s1600/TrixieClockworkMouseSmallImage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaj8TDIK0s7_ttkXIGnKe0ayYgcM53VsUojjRHiZD_BXSS7R67QzLnCg9J_d6ZNhbUa9hGmIn418WcZKSXCLFltaUmFzbX3JtyJH1hjT68PNtU04OFbu_y2gP05f97GRwifHc_9QneJYc/s200/TrixieClockworkMouseSmallImage.jpg" yr="true" /></a><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>Replacement mouse from LDL IT range £175.00 </strong></span><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>plus £25.00 for the key</strong></span><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">For more items or to order goods, see full catalogue of disaster</span></strong><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'll also be reviewing Judy Finnigan's new show, Pet's Cost Millions, and letting you know how my old dog Mac, a balding Rottweiller, is getting along with the terrible incontinence and trembling problem he has suffered since Judy accosted him during a lively broadcast of the new daytime show on Dale Street the other week.</span><br />
<a href="http://blogs.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/dalestreetblues/2009/11/finnegan-goes-a-bit-thick-of-i.html">http://blogs.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/dalestreetblues/2009/11/finnegan-goes-a-bit-thick-of-i.html</a><br />
</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig7aSUAnYH3LmukASaQGc4_CcZd1Vlxmc_9AIjVy6BpRGhxQMrT0LAbHUQQ-86XfiN6wugc_-G8iObj2JtJC2rtJo4MyAH2dI55Zfn_Cf1m7dZJIOt14joEnrIKggk8oBodHHfHg3upzE/s1600/Dr+Macillpooey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig7aSUAnYH3LmukASaQGc4_CcZd1Vlxmc_9AIjVy6BpRGhxQMrT0LAbHUQQ-86XfiN6wugc_-G8iObj2JtJC2rtJo4MyAH2dI55Zfn_Cf1m7dZJIOt14joEnrIKggk8oBodHHfHg3upzE/s320/Dr+Macillpooey.jpg" yr="true" /></a><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"> <strong><span style="color: red; font-size: large;">New call to ban dogs from fouling the city</span></strong><br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><strong>But enough of this doom and gloom, let's have some good news for a change!</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">So here is some good news to end on, forget thousands of job losses being planned, forget Liverpool Direct ripping us off for £78 Million and still nobody with enough guts in the Lib Dems to admit it has all been a con. Forget too about the budget shortfall of at least £124 Million over the next couple of years and forget the 08 Place losing £1million a year. The good news is that we have committed £7 million pounds of your money to pay consultants to come in over the next twelve months to give us some much needed guidance on how to start running this city properly. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It is going very well so far, and the consultants are doing such a good job that I can confirm that by December 2010, there is every possibility that Grotty Cash Council will have a clear strategy in place that will enable them to identify their Arses from their Elbows. This will be a major step forward for the city leadership. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The first draft of their report has already been published and presented to the leader of the council Wally Bradlow, but unfortunately he is so far unable to understand the complicated diagrams.</span><br />
</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnGSfx1kNmRYhab4L54GEdcEXdR53mD8qBU8YtvBdWH6ObmTC89D4fGN-fItclHNvzR_R4WkPLGfLjqtTKS0U8Pl6F7lRwdcOt0635UJA6y2tQe9K_53zjoSVUa9-EODbsN8Ikh92A2UA/s1600/management101_sm_th_.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnGSfx1kNmRYhab4L54GEdcEXdR53mD8qBU8YtvBdWH6ObmTC89D4fGN-fItclHNvzR_R4WkPLGfLjqtTKS0U8Pl6F7lRwdcOt0635UJA6y2tQe9K_53zjoSVUa9-EODbsN8Ikh92A2UA/s400/management101_sm_th_.gif" yr="true" /></a><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><strong><span style="font-size: large;">Not to worry, we will get some more consultants in to explain it to us in laymans terms.</span></strong><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">With this kind of determination, I'm sure they'll soon get the administration of the city back on the right track.</span><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Chester Racecourse has a good track apparently! </span><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: large;">Fancy a flutter missus? </span><br />
</div><br />
<strong><span style="color: purple; font-size: x-large;">Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Bye</span></strong>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5904146962397653084.post-22762528821295258292009-09-30T20:08:00.019+01:002013-05-14T19:11:41.129+01:00EXCLUSIVE;An Epic poem on the knackering up of the Liverpool World Heritage Site as William McGonagall writes for Chronic Calls.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">By Jove Missus! Thanks to Mrs Hewitt's Ouija board we present a special edition of Professor Chucklebutty's Liverpool Chronic Calls, as we publish an ode to our developing city, the historical waterfront and the "Three Graces" as dictated from the other side </span><span style="font-size: large;">by the late great </span></strong><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>poet and tragedian, William Topaz McGonagall. <br /><br />Luckily, my friend, Liverpool Poet and former member of The Scuffles, Reggie McCough, was on hand to tidy it up a bit, as McGonagall kept shouting "Are ya tellin' me am deed?"</strong></span></div>
<a href="http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/</span></a><span style="color: #3d85c6;"> </span><em><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">More</span> on McGonagall</span></em><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivThKUoo_S3GfaIclNE0QLW5zFxBJOdyhhBay7jRgYkyxrzOEAFkgdmeyWz5uTsC-fYrK5hSBf4W_Q2ExOKOvzRldEJWfzWqRcfe94V4Nv7B2h5KTpJBBUismL9yVtXIHSr7PvM4LTq4Q/s1600-h/WILLIAM-MCGONAGALL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" iq="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivThKUoo_S3GfaIclNE0QLW5zFxBJOdyhhBay7jRgYkyxrzOEAFkgdmeyWz5uTsC-fYrK5hSBf4W_Q2ExOKOvzRldEJWfzWqRcfe94V4Nv7B2h5KTpJBBUismL9yVtXIHSr7PvM4LTq4Q/s400/WILLIAM-MCGONAGALL.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>The Beautiful World Heritage Site On The Silvery Mersey</strong></span></div>
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</strong><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">By William McGonagall</span></strong></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTnj6fsD4CDhCh7XU5zALf35_S5wUUfuwP4YZeqARt6-4_1B4ffWqxPELI2aQiZXk_7OWfe1bW4un83o4pgLTF6rqFnSfi8vbbKsOCWWbNPvl6bKUDSImilbQDG1dBEkelumM3w9AhuJc/s1600-h/3425421831_6ac05dbd17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" iq="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTnj6fsD4CDhCh7XU5zALf35_S5wUUfuwP4YZeqARt6-4_1B4ffWqxPELI2aQiZXk_7OWfe1bW4un83o4pgLTF6rqFnSfi8vbbKsOCWWbNPvl6bKUDSImilbQDG1dBEkelumM3w9AhuJc/s400/3425421831_6ac05dbd17.jpg" /></a></div>
<em><span style="font-size: large;">"Oh what a beautiful sight to behold" </span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">many people would say, as their stories they told </span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Of the time they arrived in fair Liverpool </span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">And their eyes lit up and their mouths did drool</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">The world came here, from all cultures and races, </span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Welcomed ashore by our fine three graces.</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Though I feel that I must point out to you, </span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Before 1911 there were only two.</span></em><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy0kLGtIRzmNDkRZ7jJRV_HBfIOPKiuWAQSENjDy5jCPjiJJOypEuHlx3roFTsExz94RyqLbAzCPpZjBxB5BupV_YGIUsIY4iEouj1cpV1UMWfXkOaBOIN1HhLMRYLuTzcLgNH1thxl3c/s1600-h/liverpoolwaterfront.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" iq="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy0kLGtIRzmNDkRZ7jJRV_HBfIOPKiuWAQSENjDy5jCPjiJJOypEuHlx3roFTsExz94RyqLbAzCPpZjBxB5BupV_YGIUsIY4iEouj1cpV1UMWfXkOaBOIN1HhLMRYLuTzcLgNH1thxl3c/s320/liverpoolwaterfront.jpg" /></a></div>
<em><span style="font-size: large;">So without wishing to be at all pedantic</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Not everyone who has crossed the Atlantic</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Would have been met by the graceful three</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">When they ended their journey across the sea.</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">But I am sure the experience was not diminished</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">By the Liver Buildings not being finished</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">But all who do see them it has been said,</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">From Shanghai to Peru or Birkenhead</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">Do loudly cheer and we must surely agree</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">That it is a most beautiful sight to see</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">So highly in fact did the visitors rate us</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">That now it is granted World Heritage status</span></em><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIKNnNzQUdr5RPzgQpAvzN4yVKRN6TrVjcMjeh1TTU9x3TTcFKZL1Wgp895xMVY84PtA6K_6SPli1NdNYrUP43b2pERkJP1K5ufvQFM8Y6QVgjodtkiinBi5LMTgTogH3t3kVWkh-VQyo/s1600-h/Albert_dock_at_night.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" iq="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIKNnNzQUdr5RPzgQpAvzN4yVKRN6TrVjcMjeh1TTU9x3TTcFKZL1Wgp895xMVY84PtA6K_6SPli1NdNYrUP43b2pERkJP1K5ufvQFM8Y6QVgjodtkiinBi5LMTgTogH3t3kVWkh-VQyo/s400/Albert_dock_at_night.jpg" /></a></div>
<em><span style="font-size: large;">We take Pride in and love in equal measure</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Our port, an architectural treasure</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Best viewed from the river or the Albert dock</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">But what is this people cry out in shock?</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">For they are constructing something new</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">That has destroyed what was the finest view</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Where once their image was reflected</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Two great dark slabs are being erected</span></em><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Misshapen blocks of cold shining black</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">A featureless mass stops you dead in your track</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">For what was once a site of celebration</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Has suffered a heinous desecration</span></em><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwGQI0gOi1iLtoSvh7p1jze3Jc3LJATdWz0-LBOwV_OKgZUmt7YFh4_3m_sgNZ5GjaUR8R1dKbMAv9IDeLttlIbJoztMj-Ln7hsWfN_N2td9xQMCC-RI2Xu4-1ibdZZLWk9drX8urJ3p0/s1600-h/270706-mannisland.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" iq="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwGQI0gOi1iLtoSvh7p1jze3Jc3LJATdWz0-LBOwV_OKgZUmt7YFh4_3m_sgNZ5GjaUR8R1dKbMAv9IDeLttlIbJoztMj-Ln7hsWfN_N2td9xQMCC-RI2Xu4-1ibdZZLWk9drX8urJ3p0/s400/270706-mannisland.jpg" /></a></div>
<em><span style="font-size: large;">A rising monstrosity that now defaces</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">The land around our proud three graces</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">What kind of demented fools approved </span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">With the risk of our status being removed?</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">The construction of these soulless towers</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Like great black slugs amongst fragrant flowers</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">A great architectural travesty</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Like two new Concourse Towers on sea</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">And who of sound mind would buy or rent</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Next to the great Mersey Tunnel vent</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">For a healthy living must be in doubt</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Where the carbon monoxide filters out.</span></em><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6wBBxXbARWoHRytEKYbUyCs5MiDJmol8jAPywN4Q0B-A29EpmDeSccVoKkxNyMHBwnSt3640d3WYEfQy5d76Il_9L1-ONyrHLhHk_1ZjphrLGq8Y5tF6pyn3WcQF4vEH-fHj53xJ_QAw/s1600-h/3516471378_d845d33c8a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" iq="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6wBBxXbARWoHRytEKYbUyCs5MiDJmol8jAPywN4Q0B-A29EpmDeSccVoKkxNyMHBwnSt3640d3WYEfQy5d76Il_9L1-ONyrHLhHk_1ZjphrLGq8Y5tF6pyn3WcQF4vEH-fHj53xJ_QAw/s320/3516471378_d845d33c8a.jpg" /></a></div>
<em><span style="font-size: large;">How many new flats we should be told</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Are now occupied or remain unsold</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">I offer a quick unscientific test</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Hands-up if you live in One Park West</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">If you bought one of those, what price did ye pay?</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">And what may I ask is it valued at today</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Had ye been at the demon drink when ye signed the cheque</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">For a home that looks like Wigan Tech?</span></em><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQMrebhOn4gU1ygA3ILnHLVNrtGRJoYjGvrzo7nH5_lrGMrrVwai3NqzVUd49wgYR0cseOd3zeRJWXYUZHyYvEPwkBTMliqJ7WlDzB2hzzRv_Z7WhtbDRRpEV6i4ib6ONrW8nUNesGHiE/s1600-h/Cesar+Salad2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" iq="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQMrebhOn4gU1ygA3ILnHLVNrtGRJoYjGvrzo7nH5_lrGMrrVwai3NqzVUd49wgYR0cseOd3zeRJWXYUZHyYvEPwkBTMliqJ7WlDzB2hzzRv_Z7WhtbDRRpEV6i4ib6ONrW8nUNesGHiE/s320/Cesar+Salad2.JPG" /></a></div>
<em><span style="font-size: large;">The city skyline that now we see</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Devoid of art and symmetry </span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">A rising mess of concrete and glass</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">From the architectural dunces class</span></em><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNUXCj5wvYRHXgWwCug3mTdxk7NfgTQTcGLrHrXX_RMCTjOJKitwJ8tvjxHw7bMykFKqXpZQrQCTnica_LQqmuUt5_YH21QG9AoxefoKQLHoTsDCoLnNYhf93VmVo9EwtJuQCwOAw2fBE/s1600-h/liverpool_building_aw201007_65.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" iq="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNUXCj5wvYRHXgWwCug3mTdxk7NfgTQTcGLrHrXX_RMCTjOJKitwJ8tvjxHw7bMykFKqXpZQrQCTnica_LQqmuUt5_YH21QG9AoxefoKQLHoTsDCoLnNYhf93VmVo9EwtJuQCwOAw2fBE/s200/liverpool_building_aw201007_65.jpg" /></a></div>
<em><span style="font-size: large;">And where we yoyage on our famous ferry</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">They’ve created a heap that looks built by Jerry</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Winner of the great carbuncle cup</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Like a caravan with it’s downside up </span></em><em><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">Is there nay reached a point of saturation</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">For the city planners to have some hesitation</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">Or is it the fact each planning application</span></em></div>
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Is a gift to property speculation?</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">Wrapped in the term regeneration</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">Yet with the city’s falling population</span></em></div>
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">It does nothing to address our real housing need</span></em></div>
<em><span style="font-size: large;">For the driving force for this is greed</span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">And while the ink on one application’s still damp</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">The next one’s there for the rubber stamp</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">To keep adding more common sense can’t deny</span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">We are building ghost towns in the sky</span></em><br />
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"That will be three shillings and sixpence please."<br />
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<strong><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Bye</span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Be nice to each other.</span>Professor Chucklebuttyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00612840416165344402noreply@blogger.com9