EXCLUSIVE: LEAKED FIRST DRAFT OF THAT WALLY BRADLOW LETTER. Bradley gives Nick Clogg a piece of his tiny mind and proposes party name change to Liberal Doomed-Rats

One Big Leak

By Jove Missus what a beautiful day, what a beautiful day for standing in a puddle at the greengrocers and saying how's that for an embarrasing leek? 

Yes, missus the big leak story. All here in my personal chronic calls. But, not the doctored one they put out in the press, by Jove no! I have the original transcript of Wally Bradlows suicide note to Deputy Primeminister Nick Nocky Nick Clegg.

As usual, his mam had to tidy it up for him, otherwise it comes across as a lunatic rant from a desperate man. It still does, but the original draft was much tougher, and for that I say hats off to Wally Bradlow.

And so ladies and gentlemen in the interests of hysterical accuracy, I reprint the leak before the leak..or as Ned Sharon used to say to Jack Frost and the Three Ronnies:

THAT WAS THE LEAK THAT WAS.

Now first  my dear readers....both of you, pay attention. This is the transcript that they hoodwinked the BBC with and that was reprinted in Young Dave Barchesters Chronicles: Dole Street Blues.  The actual link is here: http://blogs.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/dalestreetblues/2011/04/in-full-warren-bradleys-email.html

This is it, what they want you to read. Even then, they get his name wrong! Then below that, is what I believe to be the original draft.

From: Bridley, Warren



Subject: LABOUR'S SURGE IN THE NORTH


IN CONFIDENCE - PRIVATE


Dear Nick and the Parliamentarians,


I have to date kept my frustrations and criticisms based on policy rather than just having a go because I don't want to be in bed with the Tories; unfortunately the boil is about to come to a head and burst (probably on election night) when we lose some very well respected and experienced colleagues from Liverpool City Council. The Labour and Trade Union movement are saturating the streets of Liverpool, even in our heartlands.


Liberalism started in Liverpool (Church Ward) during the late 60's with Sir Trevor Jones and Cyril Carr being the driving force; a ward we have held for many years through thick and thin, sadly this year, because of your actions in Coalition Government, this may not be the case. Never before in 35+ years have I seen the streets of Wavertree snooing with Labour activists, never before have I seen Labour posters in a local election. This is only down to the policies that our Parliamentarians are pursuing in Coalition Government. The position is untenable, Mike Storey having given many decades to the party is extremely vulnerable, and could well fall because of the Parliamentary party.


Many other long serving Councillors could be defeated not because of their record, but because of your record and the perception of what we as Liberal Democrats now are.


I only hope on the 6th May, you will meet with Leaders/Groups/ordinary members and seek their views following a set of results, which if mirrored by our canvass returns will place us back 40 years.


I and many of my colleagues in Liverpool and the North are tired of defending the indefensible, as a party we have to reconsider what and who we are before we disappear into the annuls of history as a political party who promised so much hope, yet failed because they wanted control and power.


This is not a moan because I want to be someone, I deeply care about the party I have campaigned for since its inception, as I did for the Liberals before when I was a little boy, as did both my parents and virtually all my family; Liverpool and the North needs and deserves an alternative to Labour, but at present, after knocking on many doors, all I feel is dejection and upset that the Lib Dems, the party the people trusted implicitly have become like the others and deserted their followers.


I hope you take this in the spirit it is meant, liberal principles have to shine through, we have to be independent and we have to sever ties from the coalition; if we fail to do this, we have only our Parliamentarians to blame.


Yours sincerely


Cllr. Worried Bradley


Leader of the Liberal Democrats


Liverpool City Council

But now ladies and gentlemen, sent to me by one of my agents in the field, and up to their knees in it, is the original draft version, before his mam re-wrote it and made him stand in the corner.

I think you will agree, that Wally should be applauded for his strong stance and courageous outspoken views.  This is the version they didn't want you to see!

From: Wally Bradlow,

Subject: LABOUR'S SURGE UP MY END

IN CONTINANCE - PRIVATES

Dear Dick and the Parlymentrians,

I have to date, what date is it by the way? I mean you only have to look at where we were 10 years ago…where were we?


I have kept my flustrations and crittisisms based on policy rather than just having a go because I don't want to be in bed with the Tories; not since I met this bird on Facebook, and just for the record, somebody else stuck that photo in her album, and that wasn’t me either and you can quote me on that unanimously, in fact never mind unanimous, you can use my real name.
Unfortunately at the moment my head looks like a boil about to burst

 

(probably on election night) when we lose some very well respected and experienced colleagues from Liverpool City Council. No names spring to mind but ….obviously not Eldridge, Twiggler, Kamp, Turnip or Fieldung.....

And deffo not my mate Hursty…he was an innocent man, and I know cos it was…er  I mean….just cos he got caught red handed found guilty and lost his appeal, doesn’t mean he is innocent until proven guilty and I stand on that basic principal of habeus caught-us and Magnum Carton.

The Labour and Trade Union movement are saturating the streets of Liverpool, even in the warzones…I mean heartlands.

Liberalism started in Liverpool (Church Ward) during the late 1860's with Sir Trevor Jones driving door to door in Cyril’s Car. I still use it when I am out campaigning.

It's a ward we have held for many years through thick and thin. Just ask Councillor Klemp about thick and thin: he says he’s thin and I’m….. though sadly this year, because of your actions in Coalition and many other towns, this may not be the case.

Never before in 350+ years have I seen the streets of Wavertree snooing…err snookering...snoodling …what’s the friggin’ word I am looking for?  Basically, there’s loads of Labour activists everywhere, and never before have I seen Labour posters in a local election that I haven’t drawn specs and a tash on before running away….not that it was me, it was Stev…..er.. we would never do that.....

Enough of this yah boo politics, that's my mantravani. That's just the kind of behaviour what has driven this city into the ground that we sold dirt cheap to a load of speculators. Remember  it was under this Liberal Democrat administration that we transfused the city skyscrape, bringing many to tears. And joy to Sir Top-up Jones. 

The people of Liverpool, remember our hard work and the way we managed the city, which is why we got kicked out last May. What do you think's gonna happen this May??? Eh?  Eh?...........er...........Eh?

This situation we now face, is one of being flushed down the pan, and this is only down to the policies that our Parlymentrians are pursuing in Coalition Government.

Thanks to you Dave, and you all jumping into bed with Nick Cameron and Thatcher's Liberals, the position is untenable, and even the most unpalatable Mike Storey, having given many decades to the party is extremely vulnerable, and could well fall because of all the Peroni he’s been drinking at my house. Except that we never met at my house and didn’t talk about getting rid of people, or sending texts that we haven’t sent. That's if we ever met in the first place…I've never even heard of him. Besides, Mike is a Duchess now, the nobbled Baron Of Chilblains. So he can get the Knights of Cammelairds on to you if you try and dredge all that up again. Anyway the standards board said I was just an idiot and ignorance of the law is nine tenths, so you can’t touch me for that one.

Lord Mike Strawhair sees dark days ahead for Liverpool Lib Dems

I only hope on the 6th May the day after the elections, (note to self take that friggin’ huge poster down from Garmoyle Road saying the election is on the 6th or everyone will go out to vote a day late…..no wait.... since they won’t be voting for us anyway, leave it up so they won’t vote for Labour either) See that’s the kind of strategums mind set you have to have at the butt and thrust of local politics!

Many other self serving Councillors could be defeated, not because of their record, but because of your record and the perception of what we as Liberal Democrats now are. Why did you have to let them find out? Nickhead!

Where was I ? Oh yes, Mick, I hope that on May 6th you will meet with Leaders/Groups/ordinary members and seek their views following a set of results, which if mirrored by our canvass returns will place us back 400 years, which is a long time in politics.

I and many of my colleagues in Liverpool and the North are tired of defending the indefensible. And now, since you joined the coalition, it’s even worse! As a party we have to reconsider what and who we are before we disappear up the annus of history as a political party. We promised so much hope, yet failed because you wanted control and power. A bit like like we did in Liverpool.

This is not a moan because I want to be someone, I gave up hope on that years ago. I deeply care about the party I have campaigned for since its deception, just as I did for the Liberals before, when I was a little boy, with a cheap toy fire engine and dropping clangers every few yards.


Both my parents, the dog Trevor, the budgie and virtually all my family cared deeply about the Liberal value.


Boy George knew my father, as the song goes, and in our case it’s true and this helped us to secure Capital of Culture Club 2008, which was perhaps the greatest feather in my brains behind the scenes.

(Note to my agent: Don't use a photo with that bastard Jasper Harbottle)

Liverpool and the North needs and deserves an alternative, but at present, after knocking on many doors, including my own, (but she won’t let me back in) and not putting any fake leaflets through the letterbox, as that was never proved, except in court, all I feel is dejection and upset that the Lib Dems, the party the people trusted implicitly have become like the others and deserted their followers. Obviously not as fast as the followers are deserting us.

I hope you take this in the spirit it is meant, you twat! Liberal principles have to shine through, and this election should polish us off for good.


We may have to join the independents and we have to sever ties from the coalition; if we fail to do this, we have only our Parliamentrians to blame. And I shall be blameless in this as I always am.


I would ask that this letter is not leaked in the usual way, unless I have already pressed send to everyone, or it may look like I am desperate to show the people of Liverpool that we are not shits like you. But either way, come May 6th, our blood will be on your hands!

Can I finish by saying that this City has a proud history going back four million years, and is mentioned by King John’s Ambulance in The Doomsday Book.

Well thanks to you, Clegg, come May 5th, we’ll get another friggin’ mention!

Yours sincerely

Cllr. Wally Bradlow

Leader of the Liberal Doomedrats

Liverpool Grotty Cash Council

Ay....lookkk it's L pool Lar!

***************************************************

Well ladies and gentlemen, there has been no official response as yet from Nick Clegg, but many people think that his expression on receiving the email, conveyed exactly what he thought of Wally Bradlows opinions. I couldn't catch his exact words on the news but I think it was something to do with a banker.

Tatty Bye Everybody Tatty Bye

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