Friday 7 June 2013

Battle rages across the city as dark forces gather causing chaos at Hogwash Town Hall


Jake A Rowing's Harry Plotter, with his magical wand from the Waver Tree
By Jove Missus! Great news for Liverpool, and for Harry Plotter fans.
We all thought that "The Deathly Twitters" was the last in the series but it has just been announced that author Jake A Rowing, is to give us one more chapter with a fight to the death between Harry and Voldemore's niece, Scriptiana. 


The new story, which is still being written, will be filmed in Liverpool,  and sees our young hero Harry, facing the combined menace of the Slithertree clique who have convinced Scriptiana MP (Mystical Princess) that Harry Plotter must be destroyed.
 
Scriptiana:  "You must be punished Harry, you did not learn the enchantment!"
 
Armed with a new hypnotic weapon and a secret enchantment with which to control the minds of members as they fly on their broomsticks door to door, they tell the people that Plotter must be eliminated now and offer a new champion to take his place, one who will be possessed with the power of the enchanted script.
Look into my eyes, you don't care if we have no policies but to carry on the Tory cuts..
you will vote for us!
 
Harry has failed to be inducted into the ways of the secret enchantment and Scriptiana sends a message of complaint to the head of Hogwash, Professor Dumblemayor, with copies to the rest of the lack of faculties. She accuses Harry of not turning up for their weekly Cruddage, and refusing to be a team player. Worse still, she is furious that Harry has not swallowed the magic potion that will make him repeat the enchanted script every time he speaks.
Hogwash

When Harry is faced with the accusations, he appeals to the Great Wiz Ed and sends the message via his faithful owl Twitter, where it is seen by his enemies in Slithertree.
 
Wiz Ed: I'd write back but I can't find my pen, snort!
 
But the Great kind Wiz Ed turns a daft ear to his letter as he is too busy promising to help the Financial Wizards by offering sacrifices and to take more money from the poor in the hope that Rupert Warlock, The Sun Wizard, will smile upon him. He hopes that Warlock will instruct his followers to say that, "One day he may be  capable of casting enough suitably meaningless spells to convince people to let him into the Coven of number 10." 


"Ed is not an idiot..Ed is not an idiot..vote for Ed"
So Wiz Ed has no time for anyone claiming to be attacked, not even those he phoned personally to congratulate or rushed to have his portrait painted with. No, Wiz Ed has his own plans of attack to draw up. Plans that he hopes keep the dark forces happy enough to grant him power and wear the great cap of benefits.


Head of Hogwash, Professor DumbleMayor, is forced to step in.
 
In the meantime, back at Hogwash, Dumblemayor, his one time great friend and protector demands to see Harry, and tells him that he is upset with him for carelessly flying his owl Twitter into nets. He tells Harry that he is clearly in need of rest and should spend a month at the great hall of Bingo until Dumbomayor decides when his number's up. 

But Harry later answers questions about his holiday plans to the great North West Lookers of the Beebee Sea, via their crystal lantern, which serves to increase Dumbstruckmayor's fury. 
Dumblemayor's dilemma: Me lad's let me down. The little.....
"How dare Harry speak out again!" he cries, "these things should be kept within the walls of Hogwash!"

"What do you think our brooms are for, other than sweeping things under the carpet?" 

Appalled that Harry has again spoken publicly, in the interests of keeping everything private, Dumblemayor, issues a public proclamation. In it he promises that the matter will be dealt with internally and fairly without any public reference to either party, adding that "Harry, as a young wizard, has gone mad with the pressure and has let me down by speaking out. He is a cause of great disappointment to me and so I have requested that he is suspended from Hogwash and he may not engage with the villagers of Slithertree.  But now you must excuse me as I am off to a photo opportunity in London with the lovely Scriptiana."
 
 

And so begins the great new chapter at Hogwash, with Harry standing alone against the power of the Scriptiana enchantment, with many of his former friends becoming Weasleys. But there is growing revolt amongst the villagers with them voicing their faith in Harry and those who are afraid to speak openly, for now, are rallying to his support.


But now secret messages have been intercepted and published in the Liverpool Deathly Echoes. They show signs of evil talk and attacks against Harry, with wicked ideas being sent to the lovely Scriptiana, promising "he will be sorted" and telling her it will not be long until victory and that she need not worry about others who try to stand in our way.


And so with these revelations, it remains to be seen if she is the real power behind the threat to Harry, or if there are darker forces that have set this up and drawn her into their own private fight with more sinister motives?  And once they have used their accomplice Scriptiana, to try and destroy Harry, will they do the same to her? 

 

Dark Forces working behind the scenes
Without doubt, the fans and supporters of both Scriptiana and Harry, will be torn between loyalties.

They must wonder if this is just her doing or are others also at work? Whilst it may be the case that she will strike down any fool who accidentally calls her Scriptiola, they will remember that not so long ago, she also fought a brave battle against forces of evil, both inside and outside of Hogwash.  Where people tried to bully her and blacken her name at that time in order to stop her becoming the Mystical Princess. They made many cruel, wicked and unjust comments about her and even hoped her parachute, as they called it, would fail to open. And whatever some initially made of her arrival in the village of Slithertree, they rallied to her support against the bullies.

Could it be that some of those same people who then tried to act against her may still be lurking in the background, that they have entered her magic circle and are helping to shape events? 

In the meantime, the exiled Harry continues his battle, and we await the truth to come out. While many offer him their support, at the same time a great wall of silence has been built, behind which crouch  many members of the so-called Weasley family.

And while those who seek to bring Harry down and accuse him with the crime of speaking publicly against Hogwash, they themselves publicly attempt character assassination in the very same media. 

But nobody seems to mind that and nobody else is suspended, just Harry. We await the arrival of the ducking stool and a fair hearing.


The hapless Villagers of Slithertree may yet decide, once they get the enchanted script delivered to their doorsteps.


For a completely unrelated but similar story, see link below
http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/News-and-Comment/The-Laz-Wordon-Jakes-Progress


 
Tatty Bye Everybody, Tatty Bye

Be nice to each other.


 

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